A beginner's journal of little interest

[lemmata]

Perhaps it is a matter of impatience. When I am on a losing streak, I often feel the urge to push an advantage too hard and decide the game quickly. This often leads to bad overplay that turns a winning position into a losing one.

There is also fear of uncertainty. When I am feeling weak, I might feel like playing a low move where a high move is appropriate because I like the certainty of the low move. It reduces the number of possible futures for that position. Of course, what I am neglecting is that it eliminates mostly good futures for me if the opponent plays correctly. It's paradoxical. The fear of uncertainty makes me choose the certain loss of profit. This also appears in my habit of playing unnecessary forcing moves so that I can reduce the number of possible futures.

These are all flaws that we exhibit in real life away from the go board.

The psychology of go really spans the entire spectrum of human experience.

[EdLee]

I wonder if go is a reflection of one's current mentality.

Very much so.

[daal]

I do wonder at the moment, does my depression (current) affect my go? I mean do I play passively, do I play meekly? I do dwell on this a bit, not because my current rank is very important to me, my rank will sort itself out over time, but because I wonder if go is a reflection of one's current mentality. When high, I feel I play with confidence and perhaps above my rank, when low I feel I play under my rank and meekly. Is this perception correct? Do others see it in my go? (Idle question rather than serious )

I think this is something that many of us struggle with, depressed or not. I think it's a good idea, whether you are up or down to try to stay aware of any tendency or desire to play meek and cowardly moves and nip it in the bud. My experience is that even when I lose games where I've played what seemed to be the courageous move, the games have been more interesting and more fun than had I chosen the spineless route. Going down the submissive and compliant path leads to games where losing is harder to swallow, so, even if you're down, don't miss the opportunity for a thrilling and invigorating fight.

[Bill Spight]

Your opponent played very nicely.

[Boidhre]

Thanks Bill, plenty to chew over there.

[Boidhre]

I'm beginning to firmly believe that someone with "rapid cycling" bipolar should stay well away from turn based go. While I enjoy it, I'm having a lot of trouble making up for plays when in poor form/tired/whatever. It can make it frustrating which is not good for me. As a friend of mine put it yesterday: "Yesterday you were going for the jugular and I was resigning myself to defeat, your last two moves today have been meek and letting me off the hook."

Anyway, I've no lost games from the past while to share, so here's a win instead. I'm sure there are plenty of errors in it to be picked up on.

[mitsun]

This was a really well played game, far above your stated rank, well done. You still need to work on fighting skills and reading ability, but your opening and general feel for the game are getting quite good.

Let me make just one high level comment, on moves 39-45. B is being inconsistent here, trying to accomplish two objectives which conflict with each other. If you really intend to save the cutting stone and start a fight in the center (move 45), consider how much stronger that strategy would be if you omitted the preceding exchanges (41-44) and played move 41 directly at N5. W would then have to worry about the bottom area, and B would have a much easier center fight.

The other consistent strategy would be to take the corner territory as you did in the game, then reduce the W center influence with an approach move, rather than a deep invasion or an immediate attempt to rescue the very weak cutting stone. Something around K9 looks good, or maybe J4 or J5 if you want to go a bit deeper, with a little more risk. (The sequence J5-H4-C3 would be ideal for B, but I digress.) The idea would be to encourage W to capture the cutting stone on a modest scale, then win by 1/2 point in the endgame.

[Boidhre]

Thank you mitsun, I agree those moves were inconsistent. I cut, then reconsidered and then tried to save the cutting stone which was foolish of me. Thanks for the ideas.

[Boidhre]

Another win I'm afraid but a definite learning experience for me. I was losing this game for the most part of it until a ko fight went my way and my opponent made a reading error. Overall a very fun game and I hope people enjoy it. I saw a lot of moves that I hadn't seen before/often. Again it suffers from me alternating between depression and high during it so my play is somewhat inconsistent I think. One major error I made was making a ko threat in a way that removed a follow-up ko threat I believe. I think white had the game won if they played more conservatively in the endgame rather than going for a big kill. I'd like some input on this as I'm pretty weak in the endgame and have trouble telling victors apart from losers if the game is within 20 points or so. I'm learning a lot about the endgame in my recent games as some of them have been rather close. I should have another two close games to go over soon from the looks of things. One looks like a definite loss at this point but the other I think I'm ahead in.



Opponent is 9k on DGS for reference. Starting ranks were 20k and 14k.

Edit: Uploaded the wrong sgf first time around.

[Boidhre]

Reading through Attack and Defence I'm struck by the beauty and subtlety of this game and how crude and simplistic my moves are in comparison. I find this more inspiring than depressing, that such depth can be found in such simple rules. My slow progression might at times frustrate me but I can see myself keeping this hobby up, if not only for the game itself but because of the people I meet through it. Anyway, sorry for the short rambling post, I can't sleep etc.

[EdLee]

Basics: ataris, broken shapes, cross-cuts:

[Boidhre]

Thank you Ed, I agree, my fuseki was appalling in this game. Those ataris were from two months ago, thankfully the penny dropped and I rarely do them now having learned the hard way as you can see.

[EdLee]

Those ataris were from two months ago, thankfully the penny dropped and I rarely do them now having learned the hard way as you can see.

Yea... very tricky: sometimes you played them when they are bad,
sometimes you missed them when they are good (e.g. , ), tricky, tricky.

[Boidhre]

Those ataris were from two months ago, thankfully the penny dropped and I rarely do them now having learned the hard way as you can see.

Yea... very tricky: sometimes you played them when they are bad,
sometimes you missed them when they are good (e.g. , ), tricky, tricky.

No, two months ago I would not have recognised that move in the corner white as a ko offer/opportunity for black to make poor shape for white (I think). I was, and remain, ignorant for the most part about kos and ko fighting and how to go about it as well as shape. Eh, more things to add to the list I suppose.

[Bill Spight]

Thank you mitsun, I agree those moves were inconsistent. I cut, then reconsidered and then tried to save the cutting stone which was foolish of me. Thanks for the ideas.

To second what Mitsun says, Honinbo Jowa gave some very good advice: Don't run.

He did not mean don't ever run, but that just running is hardly ever right. If you run, especially early in the game, make sure that you are doing something else with the move, as well. Here you are just running.