Time to Go
It's that "click," either of the stone or of the mouse.
No matter if I'm at my local club or sitting in my house
at night when it's dark outside, or in the sunlight of the day,
my mind is now aware that it is time to play
this game. Brain cells charge up and my heart begins to race.
It's that slight boost of adrenaline and it brings a smile to my face.
Black and white the patterns begin to be all I can see
as time slows down and with each turn I move to victory.
Searching out for weaknesses and keeping myself strong,
as he makes his first mistake, I say "That did not take long"
"for him to give me what I need."
And as the game goes on I just keep building up my lead.
When he says to me "I resign" I can get such a thrill!
How long has it taken me to build up all this skill?
Yet so far I have to go 'til I can truly say that I am strong.
So far to go before everything I do won't be wrong.
And as I hear the next click go down before my sight
I resolve that everything I do now will be right.
The true war is not against the one behind the screen,
but instead against the only person whose face I have seen
when I look into the mirror. He is my only foe
the only one I spend the time and rage against to grow
in strength. But now I must put this man to the test.
Has he truly gotten better? This game's not going like the rest.
How far behind am I now? What ever shall I do?
It cannot be the one I face is rated just 2 kyu...
A struggle this will be, to find the only path
to victory in-spite of blood and tears and ear-reddening and wrath.
And still so often I find that no matter what I've tried,
I lose in the end and feel so weak and sad inside.
Why would I want to do something that can cause in me such pain
when I know how true it is that all we do here is in vain?
But when I fail to find the move that leads me to my win,
this part of me down deep inside cannot hold back a grin.
Kageyama got it right, all those years before
I had even heard of this pursuit and it rocked me to my core.
A decade would go by before I'd even grace this Earth,
and try to understand if this was even worth
my time. To study a thing that can make me feel upset and cold,
this wise man did write a little book in which he told
of those who chose to hate this thing that I love all the same:
"Through choice they have abandoned the most interesting and enjoyable of all games."
So when I find myself the next day seated on the floor
preparing yet again to do the thing I love once more.
My head and heart will race to see who wins this time,
and a part of me must wonder how much farther I will climb...
"You have to walk before you can run. Black 1 was a walking move.
I blushed inwardly to recall the ignorant thoughts that had gone through
my mind before, when I had not realized the true worth of Black 1."
-Kageyama Toshiro on proper moves