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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #21 Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:42 am 
Honinbo

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Darwinian explanation for why what goes up must come down:

All the stuff that didn't come down has gone away.

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The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #22 Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:46 am 
Honinbo

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A society matron knocks on the door of a house. A small boy answers the door.

Matron: Young man, is your mother home?

Boy: Naw, she ain't here now.

Matron: Young man! Where is your grammar?

Boy: She ain't here neither.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.


This post by Bill Spight was liked by 2 people: Bonobo, RBerenguel
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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #23 Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:55 am 
Honinbo

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One of the local civics clubs contributes to a nearby insane asylum, and members pay a visit once a year on a Sunday afternoon. One of the members notices a man sitting by a flower garden with a fishing pole. The fishing line is dangling amongst the flowers. To humor the man, the member asks him, "How many have you caught today?"

The man replies, "You're the third."

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.


This post by Bill Spight was liked by 5 people: Bantari, Bonobo, daal, ez4u, Inkwolf
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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #24 Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:05 pm 
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I'm thining of football...

http://abstrusegoose.com/99

3 logicians walk into a bar...

Image


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Post #25 Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:32 pm 
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Abstruse Goose comic (544) -- subfield


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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #26 Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 5:21 pm 
Oza
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http://abstrusegoose.com/565

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"Short-lived are both the praiser and the praised, and rememberer and the remembered..."
- Marcus Aurelius; Meditations, VIII 21


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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #27 Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:13 am 
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This one is allegedly true, about the late, great David Hilbert.

Quote:
Hilbert had a student who one day presented him with a paper purporting to prove the Riemann Hypothesis. Hilbert studied the paper carefully and was really impressed by depth of the argument; but unfortunately he found an error in it which even he could not eliminate. The following year the student died. Hilbert asked the grieving parents if he might be permitted to make a funeral oration. While the student's relatives and friends were weeping beside the grave in the rain, Hilbert came forward. He began by saying what a tragedy it was that such a gifted young man had died before he had had an opportunity to show what he could accomplish. But, he continued, in spite of the fact that this young man's proof of the Riemann Hypothesis contained an error, it was still possible that some day a proof of the famous problem would be obtained along the lines which the deceased had indicated. "In fact," he continued with enthusiasm, standing there in the rain by the dead student's grave, "let us consider a function of a complex variable...."


Source:http://books.google.com/books?id=qsoqLNQUIJMC&pg=PA186#v=onepage&q&f=false

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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #28 Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:39 am 
Honinbo

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The story goes that Bertrand Russell and his wife allowed their 5 year old daughter to go naked in their house. One afternoon a local Episcopal vicar decides, for reasons best know to himself, to pay a visit on the Russell household. When he knocks on the front door, young Miss Russell answers it. Seeing the naked child, the vicar exclaims, "Dear God!" Miss Russell replies, "God is dead," and slams the door.

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The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #29 Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:53 am 
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What did the criminal said to the victim?
Ha, I got you!


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the road was too rough on the chicken!

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Proud Ekbackian, occassional GOer, and technut.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #30 Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 4:11 pm 
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How do you tell the gender of an ant? Drop it in water.

If it sinks, it is a a girl ant.
If it floats, it is boy ant.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad jokes
Post #31 Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 5:04 pm 
Oza

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drmwc wrote:
How do you tell the gender of an ant? Drop it in water.

If it sinks, it is a a girl ant.
If it floats, it is boy ant.


I had to read that three times before I got it. :(

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Still officially AGA 5d but I play so irregularly these days that I am probably only 3d or 4d over the board (but hopefully still 5d in terms of knowledge, theory and the ability to contribute).

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