Once again my cardinal sin of playing too fast online.
This time, however, this was not the basis of my defeat. I played okay until I seriously screwed up the endgame.

I'm losing left and right, my go is just terrible right now. Very unfortunate

A little postscript.
My opponent actually said at the end: "sorry, I should've resigned when I was clearly behind earlier."
This is obviously nonsense (and I told him so). He played well going until the end and my bad play in the endgame is not under his control, rather my own fault. He played a good game and I lost on a lack of reading.

Finding a way to stop creating narratives like this is worth at least a stone in strength. I am deadly serious! Every game is a new one with no baggage. You have the same abilities you had yesterday. There is no external "Ian is playing rubbish" curse that you must suffer under until you find a way to magically reverse it. Just play your best (and if you don't think you can bring your A game, take a break).

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Hear, hear!

It matters not whether we win or lose, it's what we tell ourselves afterwards.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

Don't beat yourself up. That's what opponents are for.

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

This is true, but I think it's a very human thing and hard to "get over". But you're right of course, and this is something I intellectually know, but emotionally fail to apply
It's also a negative effect that when I'm unhappy about a particular game/play, I want to get back in a good game as soon as possible, but then I start a new game immediately but under the wrong conditions and I play too fast and then of course I'll play badly.



To beat up or to beat me up?

In rational emotive therapy when you find yourself putting yourself down unjustly, you stand up for yourself and argue back. Eventually you will extinguish your self putdowns.



Right. When you start a new game without dealing with the negativity you carry it into the game, usually with the idea of playing better or proving yourself, which is a burden that can hinder playing well.



Nice ambiguity, eh?

_________________
The Adkins Principle:
At some point, doesn't thinking have to go on?
— Winona Adkins

Visualize whirled peas.

Everything with love. Stay safe.

the move I dislike the most in this game from your side is not the losing sequence in the end (l9 was a cheap trick by your opponent, but you need to be alert...), but it's the move 141.

Its a perfect example why empty triangles are bad: they lack liberties! Furthermore its an example of a thank you move: If you just block at 143 immediatly, there is no problem. Your opponent could defend his stone at 142, would you now play at 141? Certainly not. Exchanging 141 for 142 first helped him, since he now doesnt have to defend after your block. Even more so, you reduced your own liberties! Suddenly he could have cut with 144 at 145 being atari and capture either your 3 stones or your one stone.

Thankfully, he returned the favor by playing the quasi-pass at 144...

Main lessons: technique

- learn the double hane 47, 89
- unlearn the first line descent (it will be a good move sometimes, but not nearly as often as you play it) 155, 165, 181, 191
- unlearn the empty triangle (same) 77, 141