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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #1881 Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2022 9:53 pm 
Honinbo

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Tygem: 커비라고해
Played in the diehard tournament since I wanted to get more games in. My result was 3 wins and 2 losses. One loss was since I ignored a threat in endgame, so I *almost* went 4-1. But that's just an excuse.

It felt nice to win a few games.

I still believe my losses are a result of my casual study. Nonetheless, it was a fun day.

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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #1882 Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 5:21 am 
Honinbo

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I won the 3rd US Open game I played. I fell behind when I misread and my group died. But later, my opponent misread and one of her groups died, so I could make a comeback.

Still a tough game.

The 4th round is coming up. The biggest problem is that I didn't get much sleep last night. I will need to focus to stay alert during the game.

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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #1883 Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 6:03 pm 
Honinbo

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I played the 4th round of the US Open today.

I was ahead in the late endgame. And then I lost.

Here is the game up until my opponent's threat:



You can guess where I played (I was white).

Spoiler: I didn't connect, and my opponent cut the group as he threatens here.

As a side note, this kind of reading mistake doesn't make sense to me. I guess I don't have very good tournament stamina. I suppose I should play in more tournaments.

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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #1884 Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 6:14 pm 
Honinbo

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Another note about the game:
I don't know the joseki that happened in the bottom right, and I played incorrectly. The game result seemed ok, though, because my opponent was soft on me...

So I guess I can complain about a silly endgame blunder, but I could have lost the game sooner due to the joseki stuff...

I can't tell if I am getting weaker because I am older, or because I am bad at tournaments, or I have a bad attitude... Really not sure.

Something is happening that leads to bad results, though. The only ways forward are to give up on getting better or to push harder. I guess I want to do the latter, though, it is painful when the results don't show.

There was a barbecue today for the congress. I sat with some folks that I knew, but didn't talk. I felt kind of like crying, but I was able to hold it back.

If it is this painful to get bad results in a tournament like this, the feeling of winning must be great.

I will try to use this as motivation.

Game 2 haunts me with the cut I tried to make - I didn't read that it didn't work. Game 3 was one that I won, but I still had a super silly reading mistake. I didn't hold my concentration. Game 4 from today has two lessons: I don't know joseki well enough, and I still make 15k reading mistakes if I am under pressure.

Today, Inseong is having a beer party for the AYD. It's probably not the best solution, but I am going to drink in hopes of feeling a little better. I will probably regret it tomorrow, but hey - I have lost enough in the US Open that another loss tomorrow probably isn't that different in the scheme of things.

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