Bit of a downer after the previous post but...
I'm really struggling with motivation right now. It's a bit odd, seeing as how the 2 weeks were so great. I think I know a few possible explanations why this might be so.
1) I think the 2 weeks were great but also not to be underestimated and now I'm maybe having some sort of compensation?
2) Incidentally, I'm picking up some other hobbies I had been neglecting such as poetry and music, so my concentration is more divided.
3) The camp was 2 weeks of real life Go playing, now I'm back to computer Go, which takes some of the fun out and adds stress again.
4) Even though this shouldn't bother me, it does a bit: after the intense camp, I feel a bit disappointed not to experience any improvement. In about three months, it'll be a year since I've had any noticable improvement. After my first six months of improving rapidly, it's a hard pill to swallow.
I think it's likely a combination of all of the above. I'm now in In-Seong's Yunnguseng for three months, so the timing is a bit unfortunate. I have access to all these great lectures, reviews and opportunities, but I'm not taking full advantage right now.
I know it is possible to drop out and not lose your money (come back later), but I've decided to sweat it out. Both on principle but also I think that In-Seong might pinpoint some more fundamental mistakes in my play and I might still make that leap I need to improve a little bit more.
So what I think I really need to do:
- Play the Yunguseng League (one game a week) and try to watch some of the lectures at least, to make full advantage of the money I paid. After this season, evaluate and then decide to continue for a next season or not or later.
- Carefully try to pick up tsumego again. Every day, even if it's just a little bit. I have been neglecting my tsumego so much, while I did +1h of it every day in Germany, and actually enjoyed it.
And then hope things get better again!
But to be honest, it already feels a little bit better writing this down
