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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #921 Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:20 pm 
Judan

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Sorry to say, I don't have a detailed analysis this today. I've had daily visits to the hospital for the last little while, so I haven't studied or reviewed games.

I'm still in the AYD, though, so I play the required games for that.

It's somewhat relaxing and fun to play without the pressure of having not studied, but maybe playing the game feels a little shallow, too. Whether I win or lose, I didn't put much effort into my study behind the scenes.

Anyway, I'm posting today because I somehow got lucky and won an even game against a 4d on KGS, and that's never happened before. I've gotta attribute it to luck, because I didn't really deserve to win this game, but nonetheless, I'll post it up here for posterity.

Maybe in a future time when I'm more into studying go, I can look at this game as motivation, even though my play and thoughts during this particular game were rather shallow.



I died in the opening, and the position was worth resigning from. But the review for the AYD would have been pretty short, so I kept playing.

Maybe it was rude, but nonetheless, it was fun.

Tactically, I lost in almost every way possible. It just happened to end up with the score in my favor.

I think he was probably tired to let me cut off the top group, but anyway, I wanted to save this game since it's the first time I won against KGS 4d.

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Post #922 Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:52 am 
Judan

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Kirby wrote:
I died in the opening, and the position was worth resigning from. But the review for the AYD would have been pretty short, so I kept playing.

Maybe it was rude, but nonetheless, it was fun.


Oh, how rude! :lol:

Congratulations! :clap: :clap: :clap:

And a pretty nice under the stones play, as well. :)

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Post #923 Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:42 pm 
Judan

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Thanks, Bill. I didn't even notice the under the stones play. It feels like a shape I've seen in Go problems several times, but in the actual game, I missed it.

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Post #924 Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:48 pm 
Judan

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Due to the whole medical situation I'm involved in, from late next week, I'll probably have an unusual schedule.

As such, I've been feeling philosophical about things, again. It helps me to prioritize my activities, I think.

Anyway, I came to think that I might still be around 1d on KGS because I feel somewhat satisfied being 1d on KGS.

To reach a higher level, I should really want to have a higher level... maybe.

Maybe it's obvious or maybe it's wrong. I'll just throw it out here for now so that I can review the thought later, when I'm in a better state of mind.

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Post #925 Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2017 12:42 am 
Judan

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I've been philosophizing about the way I spend my time, what makes getting stronger at go worthwhile, and the like, and I took a look right next to me at the bookshelf in my office.

Here's a picture:
Image


I'm not sure how easy it is to count from the picture, but I've listed some stats below:

Number of go magazines: over 65
Number of go books: over 200
Number of go magazines I've skimmed: probably all of them
Number of go books I've skimmed: again, probably all of them
Number of go magazines and/or books that I've read completely and thoroughly: I'd estimate this to be less than 10

There's a term for this type of hoarding of books without reading many of them: tsundoku (積ん読). There's also some sort of Korean saying that says something along the lines of, "a bad student carries a lot of books". These books are just taking up space on my shelf if I don't read them.

Maybe somewhere along the way, I got the feeling that buying go books would make me stronger? Somehow, if I "have" the book, there's the feeling that I can get the information from it "someday".

Well, I'll be 33 on Friday, and if I'm going to read 200 go books thoroughly before I die, I'd better get going...

So I guess I'll make a study goal for this week. It has three parts:
1.) Stick to the goal for longer than past goals (recall the Relentless thread that died) :-)
2.) Read 2 chapters from "Perceiving the Direction of Play". I've had this book for awhile, but never got through it.
3.) Do the first 90 problems in "기경중묘". This is just a Korean publication of the Gokyo Shumyo problems. I don't think I've ever made it through the entire set.

I'll aim to do this by Friday, when I post solutions in the other thread for that L19 problem competition (along with next week's problems).

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Post #926 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:38 pm 
Judan

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Haven't been playing go, lately - son is doing that high dose chemotherapy stuff, so everyday is a bit tiring.

But I started thinking about the time when L19 was down a couple of weeks ago. I noticed some discussion on reddit's baduk site, along with a post on SL, where people chat about the status of the site. I have an account on Reddit, but it's not that old, and I've used SL in the past. But I rarely frequent those sites. Almost automatically when I have some free time to surf the Internet, I check out L19. But only occasionally these other sites.

I started to contemplate the differences between these sites. What's different between Reddit.com/r/baduk and L19, which makes me interested in frequenting L19, but not the reddit site? After all, they're both about Go. What aspects interest me about L19, which aren't present on the reddit site?

After a bit of thought, I came up with a distinction between the two sites:
  • L19 is user-centric.
  • reddit.com/r/baduk is content-centric.

This can be seen in a few different ways:
  • Reddit ranks topics by popularity - topics having popular content are moved to the top.
  • L19 tracks how often users have been liked with a "Was liked" indicator in each person's post.
  • There are fewer active posters on L19, so well-known posters are easy to remember.
  • L19 threads often devolve into arguments about "who was right", even after the original topic has been lost.
  • There appears to be more go-focused news on both reddit and SL.

It's possible that my observations are biased, since I've most often visited L19. Perhaps I'm not giving reddit or SL the credit those sites are due. Nonetheless, my current impression is that SL and reddit are good sites to visit for go-related content, whereas L19 is a nice place to go for a bit of go content, and a lot of socializing.

If that's the case, maybe I use L19 as a social outlet. I don't have that many friends in real life, so perhaps L19 is a way to get to know and chat with people that have a similar interest with me.

This observation is aligned with other go-related activities that I do:
  • I often open CGoban just in case someone chats with me, or in case there's an interesting conversation going on - I'm not even playing a game.
  • I do the same thing with sites like Facebook.
  • Rank in go is somewhat appealing with its social status - if I have a higher go rank, it's kind of cool, but some part of me wants to show it off to my go friends.
  • Studying by myself is a little lonely - it's a lot more fun if I go to a more social venue, such as the Seattle Go Center, where I can chat with people there.
  • I enjoy the Kim Myungwan/Andrew Jackson YouTube broadcasts of professional games, but I mostly enjoy them live so that I can chat and interact with the people in the audience. If I've missed the broadcast, it's much less appealing without the live interaction.

Reflecting, I feel that a lot of the activities that give me happiness in go have some social-related aspect.

Go in itself is fun, but studying alone is a little bit lonely.

Maybe all of these years, what I've desired is not so much to get better at go as it is to socialize with other people. Maybe I've just been lonely.

Or maybe there's something about connecting with other people that is interesting or desirable.

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Post #927 Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:58 pm 
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I agree that this forum is a more social venue, and I also agree that there is something great about engaging with a community united around a common interest. If L19 were to be lost, I'd really miss many of the forum regulars and their distinct personalities. I like the game of go on its own merits, but it would be less interesting if I couldn't share my journey through the game with others.

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Post #928 Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:41 pm 
Judan

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Incidentally, I was bored, so I decided to see if there were any research papers I could find related to social interaction. I'm not that knowledgeable of the scientific literature in the world of psychology, but I came across a paper, The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.

The paper hypothesizes the "need to belong" as a universal human motivation, and claims that this need is a basic motivation for human beings of all cultures. The paper notes that Maslow (1968) ranked "love and belongingness needs" as lower in precedence compared to food, hunger, and safety, but on the other hand, greater in precedence compared to esteem and self-actualization. In other words, a feeling of being a part of a group may be more able to motivate someone than the fulfillment of one's talents. Personally, I cannot attest to such an absolute motivational ranking, however, I can identify with a need to belong to a group and/or socialize. My desire for that may, in fact, be stronger than my desire to fulfill my own potential in a given field.

I can't say that I found evidence given in the paper to be all that scientifically convincing, but if the claims are true, it would explain my desire to be a part of a social group on a site like L19.

That being said, what do I do with that information? Looking back, I realize that some of the goals I have are related to some sort of social status. For example, if I had a goal to be promoted at work, this is some sort of recognition among colleagues and peers. Similarly, a rank in go is some sort of visual indication of my ability toward others in the go community. Go rank, indeed, has the benefit of helping me to find evenly matched opponents - but I admit that this is a secondary quality when it comes to my perspective on the value of rank.

Fundamentally, maybe this isn't a problem: I desire some sort of social interaction and/or to belong to some sort of a group. So what? It would appear to be a basic human desire. On the other hand, a strong desire for social interaction and/or to be a part of a group may conflict with time better spent in solitary study - or perhaps this is another benefit of group study in that it fulfills a basic human desire. Nonetheless, I feel that studying on my own has certain benefits - I can focus on areas that I am weak at, I can study at my own pace, and so on. From that perspective, this desire for social interaction seems to get in the way.

For example, if I'm checking L19 or Facebook every 5 minutes to see if someone has contributed to the discussion, I'm very dependent on input from other people, the study isn't efficient, and I don't learn much.

On that front, I'm brought to a later section in the paper from above, "Satiation and Substitution".

Quote:
Satiation refers to the diminished motivation that ensues when the need to belong is already well satisfied, and substitution refers to the replaceability of one social bond with another. Satiation and substitution are not unrelated, of course, because both invoke the
basic assumption that people need a certain quantity of belongingness, and attachments or interactions beyond that minimum
should be subject to a pattern of diminishing returns.


The paper goes on to attempt to provide evidence that satiation is a real effect in regard to social interaction and belongingness.

Let's say that the paper is correct on these two points:
  • The desire for social interaction and/or belongingness is a fundamental human desire, ranking just behind basic human needs such as food and water in terms of motivation.
  • Satiation is a real phenomenon in regard to social bond - there is diminished motivation as an individual acquires greater number and/or quality of social relationships.

On that note, there are probably also diminished returns on checking sites like L19 on a regular basis (e.g. checking every 5 minutes is of almost no value).

Then, perhaps:
  • My desire for social interaction and/or belongingness is not sufficiently met.
  • Attempts to fulfill this desire through a medium like L19 has diminished returns compared to the time investment, which could be spent on different activities (e.g. solitary study).
  • Satiation is a real phenomenon in regard to the desire to belong; as this desire is fulfilled, it is somewhat satisfied.

So it's a little funny to me, but maybe my conclusion from all of this rambling is that I should allocate some time in the week to be sufficiently social with other people and/or to affiliate with some sort of group. Maybe if I can do a better job of fulfilling this desire, I can have more motivation to focus on other endeavors, such as self-actualization and/or esteem :-)

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Post #929 Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 3:39 am 
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Hi Kirby,

It's a bit eerie how your thoughts resonate with my own experience of playing go via the servers. I must say its a delight to read the posts of someone as open and articulate as yourself.

I found myself reaching a certain level 1kyu-1dan and found the interaction with players on the servers probably the most satisfying part of it.

I tried to play more on other servers IGS/Tygem/Wbaduk where there is less english language interaction. I found the games of 'hand talk' great and interesting but did miss the language interaction on kgs.

Studying alone on a real board and doing tsuemgo can be lonely. Books do have a conversational element, like talking to an old friend, but it isn't the same as live interaction.

I tried to start a local Go club in my nearest city, circa 250,000 people, with a large student population which was good, but there wasn't quite the numbers to make it a regular event.

Ideally, I'd just like to study games on a goban, do tsumego and go to a local club once a week to play with players of the same strength to get my social interaction. I guess L19 provides a place where I can share my thoughts with like minded people, and get some of the social interaction I'm needing. Not quite the same as real life but It will do as a stop gap.


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Post #930 Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:48 am 
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Kirby wrote:
So it's a little funny to me, but maybe my conclusion from all of this rambling is that I should allocate some time in the week to be sufficiently social with other people and/or to affiliate with some sort of group. Maybe if I can do a better job of fulfilling this desire, I can have more motivation to focus on other endeavors, such as self-actualization and/or esteem :-)
If the SGC is a bit out of reach, feel free to stop by on Thursday nights at Crossroads! I, Harpreet 3d, and several others show up pretty consistently :).


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Post #931 Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:04 pm 
Judan

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Solomon wrote:
Kirby wrote:
So it's a little funny to me, but maybe my conclusion from all of this rambling is that I should allocate some time in the week to be sufficiently social with other people and/or to affiliate with some sort of group. Maybe if I can do a better job of fulfilling this desire, I can have more motivation to focus on other endeavors, such as self-actualization and/or esteem :-)
If the SGC is a bit out of reach, feel free to stop by on Thursday nights at Crossroads! I, Harpreet 3d, and several others show up pretty consistently :).


Thanks, Solomon. Maybe I'll do that one of these days :-)

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Post #932 Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:44 pm 
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We need to start having a battle of the bridges or something here...

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Post #933 Posted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:52 pm 
Judan

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oren wrote:
We need to start having a battle of the bridges or something here...


East side of Seattle vs. the west side? :-)

(Sad thing is, at first, I accidentally typed "the hospital" instead of "Seattle"... I've been here too long :-()

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Post #934 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 1:40 pm 
Judan

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We are home from the first cycle of my son's high-dose chemotherapy. He has recovered well so far. My manager has been flexible with the time that I'm working, but now I'm back to a somewhat normal schedule. I think this is a good opportunity to evaluate what direction I want to take in life - at least for the next 6 weeks, before we do a second cycle of the high-dose chemotherapy.

I evaluated what's important to me in life. Two categories are clear: my health and my family. Above all, I need to allocate time to exercise and stay fit, and also to spend quality time with my kids and wife. These categories are not optional.

I then considered various optional activities in my life, which I think might be interesting to pursue. Here they are, in the order that I happened to list them:
  • Go
  • Creating an iPhone app
  • Increasing my aptitude at work (I'm a software engineer for the SQL Server engine)
  • Ranking up on a programming site (e.g. TopCoder, HackerRank, etc.)
  • Gaining expertise in machine learning - this is what I studied for my master's degree
  • Making a website
  • Increasing my Korean language ability
  • Gaining a better understanding of computer networks and/or "hacking" type activities - I'm not that knowledgeable with this, but it's a little interesting to me
  • Learning about graphic design - another thing I don't know much about, but is slightly interesting
  • Increasing my Japanese language ability
  • Learning Chinese

It would be nice if I spent sufficient time to gain expertise and/or achieve all of the aforementioned skills. However, based on past experience, I don't learn anything that well when I spread myself too thin. It's easiest when I focus on one area to improve. If I had a dozen lives to live, I could pursue all of these with vigor. But I only have one life, so I have to achieve better focus.

I revisited the list to prune it a bit, cutting out items that I definitely felt more comfortable leaving out:

  • Go
  • Creating an iPhone app
  • Increasing my aptitude at work (I'm a software engineer for the SQL Server engine)
  • Ranking up on a programming site (e.g. TopCoder, HackerRank, etc.)
  • Gaining expertise in machine learning - this is what I studied for my master's degree
  • Making a website
  • Increasing my Korean language ability
  • Gaining a better understanding of computer networks and/or "hacking" type activities - I'm not that knowledgeable with this, but it's a little interesting to me
  • Learning about graphic design - another thing I don't know much about, but is slightly interesting
  • Increasing my Japanese language ability
  • Learning Chinese

In some ways, gaining expertise in machine learning can be beneficial toward increasing my aptitude at work. So it comes down to go vs. my day job.

  1. On one hand, I can simply pursue both go and my day job. If I could get expertise in both, that would be somewhat satisfying.
  2. On the other hand, to get really good at either of these, it has to be a part of my identity. I know that I work best with focus. Maybe I'm simple minded in this way.

Labeling the two options, I can make a comparison:
A: Focus on go, with my identity as a go player. Gain enough expertise at work to get by and keep my job.
B: Focus on becoming an expert at my work, with my identity as a software engineer. Play go now and then for fun, maybe attend a tournament here and there.

Here's a list of pros and cons:
Image

To summarize the list, I have the feeling that Option B is a more logical choice, especially given that I spend so much time at work - it would be good to be spending my time on something that aligns with my identity and passion. On the other hand, Option B is not what I feel I should do. I have a long history with go, and it's difficult to ignore that.

One solution is to do enough at work to get by, and to spend most of my time thinking about go - or find ways to study go while at work. Maybe I've done this to some degree thus far in my career. There is some feeling of guilt associated with that, however. My company has given me a lot of money, and the insurance has helped tremendously during this time that my family is having a medical situation. It seems somewhat disrespectful to ignore that.

Another solution is to be passionate about work during the ~8 hours that I'm at work, and only during that time. When I have time to study in the evening, be passionate about go.

It's a little hard to flip the switch back and forth like that, though... Maybe that's all it is. Perhaps I just need to get better at switching that switch: while I'm at work, I should be a superstar at work. While I'm at home, after the kids have gone to bed, I should be 100% for go. Some of my colleagues also work on work during the evenings when they get home - it'll be hard to compete with those guys, I suppose.

I'm not sure I've made a 100% resolution on this, but the latter solution is what I'm leaning toward.

Though, I'm not sure if posting this on L19 during my lunch break is really consistent with that line of thought. Maybe I can start from after lunch :-)

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Post #935 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:02 pm 
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While I would miss your regular posts here, I think focusing on work is something you need to try. The idea has been nagging at you for a long time, and I don't think any amount of assurance from others that go is a noble pursuit will give you peace; you need to try it out on your own. Give yourself a set amount of time (e.g. 6 months) and evaluate whether changing your focus is working for you. It might not; the mind is a fickle thing, and we can't always choose your passions. On the other hand, letting go recede to a secondary place in your life might be freeing. Our passions can become obsessions and occupy an unhealthy place in our lives if we allow them to do so.

Best of luck, and may peace rest upon you.

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Post #936 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:38 pm 
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It sounds like you really want to keep playing go, but between these two choices you are feeling "forced" into what you see as the more logical decision. For me, I don't see these options as exclusive as you do.

We all work in different ways so this may not make sense for you, but then again it might. I tend to treat a hobby like go similar to the way you are treating exercise. You did not explain your reasoning for prioritizing exercise, but I'm going to guess that it has something to do with the fact that by keeping healthy it is a sort of necessary condition for being able to do all of the other things on your list. At least for me, having a creative outlet for exercising my mind and socializing is as important as exercising regularly and similarly enhances the other important areas of my life. I find that I get the following from it:

1. I get to take an intellectual break. I love my job, but if I don't have a way to put it down for a bit, I go crazy. Exercise is a kind of break, but since my work is as cerebral as yours, I need a period in which I shift mentally to different kinds of problems. In fact, I often find that I'm very productive at work after I have taken some hobby time.

2. Like you, it's just enjoyable for me to do!

3. It is an important social outlet, as you say, and social outlets are important for your sanity. Note the community with whom you have chosen to have this conversation! The social connections you get from this game are clearly important. And they can even support the family and work goals by providing supportive discussions or just a period of escape when things are difficult on those two fronts.

4. I have also started trying to use go to connect with my family. I play my oldest (who is quite young) on a 9x9 board, giver her six stones, and she usually just beats me. (Tsumego is hopeless, but with 6 stones on a 9x9 board, she creates a living shape without realizing it ;-)). I'm hoping that as they get older, this is something we can share.

5. Finally, this is a bit more abstract, but I have also found that many of the "problems" that I've solved with go are useful in other areas too. I suspect this is true for any hobby, but since the goal is self-improvement, learning how to improve in one activity can help you figure out how to improve in others. For example, the way that I've approached studying go has changed the way that I study things to gain skills at work. And while I acknowledge that this is speculative, go in particular really trains your mind to think in unique ways. I'm finding it to be a little like the experience of learning to program. Even if you never use the skill in another area, it teaches you to think in ways that can be broadly useful outside of the game.


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Post #937 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:50 pm 
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1. Save up enough money to be able to take a year-long sabbatical while supporting your family.
2. Fly to Korea with the family and study Go full-time at an academy, discussing with the headmaster your intent not to become a professional, but to utilize the year you have to improve as much as possible. I think if you studied hard for a year and only focused on Go in that year, you could hit insei level.
3. Fly back to the states and go back to work. You've practically reached the highest possible playing strength while maintaining a career outside of Go, so I think this is the best you could get. Crush some local Seattle Go Center rating tournaments to update rank to 7d, attend the US Masters.
4. Work on the rest of your goals.

:D


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Post #938 Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:16 pm 
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Thanks for the responses. You all bring up very good points.

Tonight I realized that while I am introspective and thinking about what I should be doing I'm actually not doing much work or study.

It's during those times that I've become depressed or try to think of what I should be doing to better optimize my time.

I think I can probably find happiness in both go, and in my job... I should just spend more time actually doing those things and less time thinking about doing them.

I think at this point it doesn't matter whether I'm doing go or whether I'm doing my office work - I should just be doing SOMETHING :-)

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Post #939 Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 2:48 pm 
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KGS: Kirby
Tygem: 커비라고해
In the spirit of doing stuff rather than being so introspective, here is a game I played on KGS.

I played as black. It's the first non-AYD game I played online for a long time, so I had a [?] ranking. I played a relatively fast game compared to what I'm used to (10 minutes main time + 20x3 byoyomi).

Usually I play 30 minute games, so this was a bit different.

Anyway, here's a quick review.


_________________
Discipline is remembering what you want. -David Campbell


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 Post subject: Re: Kirby's Study Journal
Post #940 Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 2:54 pm 
Judan

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KGS: Kirby
Tygem: 커비라고해
Just a couple of highlights...

1.) I think the cut here is an overplay:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 20
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . O B . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . X O . O , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . X . . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


I explain why in the SGF, but I can't seem to get a variation that I like.

Maybe it's better to just be "soft" and let his group stay weak while I make some territory.

At least it's simpler:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 20
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . 2 . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . 1 O . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . X O . O , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . X . . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]



2.) Actually, I'm not 100% sure, but I feel like this move:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 36
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X . X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . O X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . O O X X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . X O O O , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . O O . X B . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . . X O . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


might be inferior to this move:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 36
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X . X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . O X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . O O X X O . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . X O O O , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . O O . X . . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X . B X O . . X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


I clicked through a few variations in the SGF, but my reading is a little weak right now. My feeling is that I might be able to get a better result.

3.) If I'm going to die, maybe it's better to just let us both live with me ending in gote:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 42
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X . X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . O X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . O O X X O . X . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . X O O O O X . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . O O . X X O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O X X 1 . X O . O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X 3 2 . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


4.) I think this move is probably an overplay:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 106
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O O X . X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . X O . X O O X . . . X X O . O X . . |
$$ | . X . O O . B O . , . X O . O X X . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . O . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X X X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O O . . X O X . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . X X O O X X O . X . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O . . O O O O X . . |
$$ | . . X . . X . . O O O . . O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O . . . O . O O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . O O X X X X |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


Probably better to hold back:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 106
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O O X . X X . . . . . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . X O . X O O X B . . X X O . O X . . |
$$ | . X . O O . . O . , . X O . O X X . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . O . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X X X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O O . . X O X . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . X X O O X X O . X . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O . . O O O O X . . |
$$ | . . X . . X . . O O O . . O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O . . . O . O O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . O O X X X X |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


5.) I think he let me off easy with this move:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 139
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O O X . X X X . O X . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . X O . X O O X O O . X X O . O X . . |
$$ | . X . O O O X O O , O X O . O X X . . |
$$ | . . . . . O X X X O . X O . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X O O . X X O W . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X O O . . X X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . X O O O . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . X X . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X X X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O O . . X O X . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . X X O O X X O . X . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O . . O O O O X . . |
$$ | . . X . . X . . O O O . . O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O . . . O . O O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . O O X X X X |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


Things would have been trickier if he played here:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 139
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O O X . X X X . O X . . O . O . . . |
$$ | . X O . X O O X O O W X X O . O X . . |
$$ | . X . O O O X O O , O X O . O X X . . |
$$ | . . . . . O X X X O . X O . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . X O O . X X O . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X O O . . X X . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . X O O O . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . X . X X . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X X X X . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O O . . X O X . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . X X O O X X O . X . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O . . O O O O X . . |
$$ | . . X . . X . . O O O . . O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . O . . . O . O O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . O . O . O O X X X X |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]


That's about it for this game. It was a pretty quick game, but it was good to play something instead of complaining all of the time on here.

:-)

_________________
Discipline is remembering what you want. -David Campbell

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