Life In 19x19

In my case, I generally have time for personal activities after my kids go to bed.

Like half of the other parents waiting to pick their kids up after school I'm playing on my phone but I'm doing tsumego

CnP wrote:Like half of the other parents waiting to pick their kids up after school I'm playing on my phone but I'm doing tsumego

Which I trust you pass onto your kids for them to do tsumego as you are driving home.

You have my sympathy Jordus.

Still, no one else replied in a way I would expect: later, when you have more time to play go, you will cherish the time and moments you spent with your sons!
And also wonder how time flew when they were young, and why you don't see them as often as you then like.

sybob wrote:You have my sympathy Jordus.

Still, no one else replied in a way I would expect: later, when you have more time to play go, you will cherish the time and moments you spent with your sons!
And also wonder how time flew when they were young, and why you don't see them as often as you then like.

Teach them Go as soon as they are old enough. You will not regret it.

I live at home with an 15-month-old nephew and his mother (i.e., my younger sister). Since most of the family pitches in to help with the babysitting and the little one spends some time playing on his own, I have some time to devote to the game.

The above quote is pure truth. Children grow up quickly and, before you know it, they grow wings and fly away. Then we think that time passed too quickly.

If you're lucky, I'm sure you will get some free time in 18 years or so.

I recall that the times when I had the most spare time was my lake 20s / early 30s. Life gets busy thereafter.

These are your halcyon days. Enjoy them while you can. It will get more complicated as you get older.

But, your coping skills will get better. ( See your PM )

Joaz Banbeck wrote:I recall that the times when I had the most spare time was my lake 20s / early 30s. Life gets busy thereafter.

These are your halcyon days. Enjoy them while you can. It will get more complicated as you get older.

But, your coping skills will get better. ( See your PM )

And am I assuming this is solely because most people have kids? What if you don't? What else changes?

A new kid makes things tough and twins even harder. But after the first year to two years it will get easier! And like Abbysinca you just have to learn to play GO and do Tsumego in the shower! It must be hard on the Kaya floor board though may I recommend Thompsons Water Seal.?

From personal experience your days of playing on a board are numbered, at least in the short term, but with an ipod, a good wifi connection and some practice, you can play and change diapers. Then in 3 years or so, when the stones are no longer a choking hazard, you'll have two captive opponents.

Abyssinica wrote:

Joaz Banbeck wrote:I recall that the times when I had the most spare time was my lake 20s / early 30s. Life gets busy thereafter.

These are your halcyon days. Enjoy them while you can. It will get more complicated as you get older.

But, your coping skills will get better. ( See your PM )

And am I assuming this is solely because most people have kids? What if you don't? What else changes?

The best way is probably to buy a doll, pretend its real and every time you would need to feed it or change its diaper you can use the saved time to play some go

I have a daughter who will turn two in less than two weeks, so I'm in a similar spot. Here are a few things that have helped me pursue my hobbies without feeling like I'm missing out on precious time with my wife and daughter. These are in no particular order… it's very late right now, and it's all I can do to hammer out coherent thoughts, let alone order them!

1) Leave work at work. Most of us can't do this all the time (I'm up late right now catching up on end of the semester grading / final exam preparation), but setting healthy boundaries in your life will make a big difference in managing your time.

2) Keep your family on a schedule when possible. This gets easier when your kids are a little older (though might be tricky with twins), but it's important for the health of your kids as well as your own sanity. I know my daughter is going to bed at 7:30 every night, so I can plan on having some evening time for myself. I also have a good idea of how long she naps, so I can decide whether cramming in a game or quick study session is worth it on any given day.

3) Don't (often) try to play go while the kids are around. Your go will not be good, and your spouse and children will not appreciate that you are checking out.

4) Communicate with your spouse about how evenings will be spent. Sometimes you need to work together on the house. Sometimes you need to spend time catching up or just enjoying on another. And sometimes you both need time to pursue your own hobbies.

5) Be realistic about how much time you'll get to spend playing go. If you can get a couple hours 2 or 3 nights a week, you're doing pretty good.

6) Don't neglect other aspects of self-care for your go. I need to spend time reading good books and getting regular exercise to be healthy. Your needs may be different (and likely are), but make sure you address them.

7) Try and plan for some extended alone time once a week. Getting a half day to spend however you want feels luxurious with small kids around, but I've found it to be important for long-term mental health. This can be good study / play time, though you may want to spend it in other pursuits at times. Don't forget to offer this time to your spouse as well!

8) Remember that there are many ways to practice go. Playing games is what most of us would like to be doing, but tsumego and quality books can be used to fill in cracks where a game would not fit.

9) This might be personal, but I recommend against playing games that are faster than you really enjoy just to fit one in. We spend enough of our time as new parents feeling harried; there is no reason to bring that feeling into our hobby. Of course, everybody's "too fast" is a little bit different.

jeromie wrote: 7) Try and plan for some extended alone time once a week. Getting a half day to spend however you want feels luxurious with small kids around, but I've found it to be important for long-term mental health. This can be good study / play time, though you may want to spend it in other pursuits at times. Don't forget to offer this time to your spouse as well!

jeromie wrote: 9) This might be personal, but I recommend against playing games that are faster than you really enjoy just to fit one in. We spend enough of our time as new parents feeling harried; there is no reason to bring that feeling into our hobby. Of course, everybody's "too fast" is a little bit different.

I'd second both of these points in particular -- everything jeromie says reflects my own experience, but these both made a big difference for me, in my life as well as in my Go.

Abyssinica wrote:

Joaz Banbeck wrote:I recall that the times when I had the most spare time was my lake 20s / early 30s. Life gets busy thereafter.

These are your halcyon days. Enjoy them while you can. It will get more complicated as you get older.

But, your coping skills will get better. ( See your PM )

And am I assuming this is solely because most people have kids? What if you don't? What else changes?

I don't, but work gets increasingly longer to do, and you start gaining more small-ish commitments you didn't have before (it starts with groceries, then laundry, then taxes, community things...) It's like hard drives or fridges. You eventually fill them with useless things you can't really throw out

RBerenguel wrote:

Abyssinica wrote:

Joaz Banbeck wrote:I recall that the times when I had the most spare time was my lake 20s / early 30s. Life gets busy thereafter.

These are your halcyon days. Enjoy them while you can. It will get more complicated as you get older.

But, your coping skills will get better. ( See your PM )

And am I assuming this is solely because most people have kids? What if you don't? What else changes?

I don't, but work gets increasingly longer to do, and you start gaining more small-ish commitments you didn't have before (it starts with groceries, then laundry, then taxes, community things...) It's like hard drives or fridges. You eventually fill them with useless things you can't really throw out

Also you get a lot of 'you don't have a family you can do X or Y' both from work and from outside of work activites.