Life In 19x19

daal wrote:Call me mimosa, but I must admit, I feel hurt when someone beats me and then doesn't thank me for the game. (Yes, I am referring to online games.) To me, someone who knows how to do it and doesn't is just a jerk. (Filter would probably prevent me from saying a-hole, so I'll just leave it at that). What is the matter with these people?

It could be because the person isn't familiar with the KGS interface and is used to servers like Tygem where you get a bunch of pre-written messages available via buttons...




...or it could be that guy I opened the door for the other day who didn't even give me the courtesy of a glance, let alone say thanks. Forget that guy.

xed_over wrote:

Bantari wrote:

daal wrote:Call me mimosa

You are mimosa.

what does that mean?

In this context? No clue.
But he asked to be called that, do I did.

PS>
"A Mimosa is a cocktail composed of equal parts champagne and chilled citrus fruit juice, usually orange juice unless otherwise specified."
I got that off of the internet, so it must be true. But still no clue what it means in this context.

Hope this helps.

OT re: mimosa

Bantari:

Bonobo wrote:AFAIK it’s usually used in a derogatory manner, like calling somebody a “sissy” or something, meaning that the person is (alleged to be) overly sensitive.

Oh, really? Is that British?

PS>
I really like the drink (very refreshing on a hot California day) and the plant looks nice too.
I think when I call somebody "mimosa" it must be a compliment then.

Anyways, we seem to be hijacking the thread here with all this talk about mimosas.

So to bring it back on track... In my personal opinion...

Having people engage in a full conversation - even during the game - is the most pleasant online-go experience for me.
Failing that, I like them to say full "Thank you" and stuff - just spell it out - before/after the game.
Failing that, things like "gg" and "tx" are ok too - who cares, I got a good game.
Failing that, just leaving without a word is not a problem - who knows maybe the other guy is grumpy or has toothache?

As for being a jerk? Nah... Who am I to judge people like that.

But if I were to judge... In my personal opinion...

I would think the jerks were those who would *require* me to behave a certain way, just to please them.
Those who would *require* me to introduce myself or they don't play.
Those who would *require* me say full "thank you" or they get offended and not play with me anymore.
And stuff like that.

I am grumpy and have toothache too every now and then, and then I rather people not put silly expectation on my spelling or manners.

Still - it takes all kinds.... Just my personal opinion, you understand.

Bantari wrote:I am grumpy and have toothache too every now and then, and then I rather people not put silly expectation on my spelling or manners.

What is silly about expecting people to have manners?

daal wrote:

Bantari wrote:I am grumpy and have toothache too every now and then, and then I rather people not put silly expectation on my spelling or manners.

What is silly about expecting people to have manners?

Nothing. But its all in the definition... isn't it?

For example:
I don't think saying "tx" instead of "thank you" is bad manners. It does not offend me.
However - forcing me to behave in a certain way just to satisfy your definition of "manners" - this is rude.

But I am probably weird, so peace out.

The KGS handle "mimosa" is still available, if it helps.

Bantari wrote:

daal wrote:

Bantari wrote:I am grumpy and have toothache too every now and then, and then I rather people not put silly expectation on my spelling or manners.

What is silly about expecting people to have manners?

Nothing. But its all in the definition... isn't it?

For example:
I don't think saying "tx" instead of "thank you" is bad manners. It does not offend me.
However - forcing me to behave in a certain way just to satisfy your definition of "manners" - this is rude.

But I am probably weird, so peace out.

I'm not forcing anybody to do anything, so I hope you don't consider me rude for stating how a specific behavior makes me feel. One of the functions of (good) manners is to smooth social interactions. A tense game in which tempers can flare is a good example of a situation in which manners can have an influence. You can quibble all you want about what exactly constitutes good or bad manners, but wordlessly leaving a game doesn't leave that much room for interpretation. It is an absence of any communication, which also includes an absence of the desire to express any good will. If your toothache doesn't prevent you from playing a game, it certainly shouldn't prevent you from typing. As to whether one types "thanks for the game," "thanks" or "tx," they all indicate the same sentiment, and uttering this sentiment is the norm, in other words, the defacto standard on western go servers for good manners. It is what people do to smooth the social interaction. I understand the desire to rebel against social norms in general as no one wants to be herded like sheep, but there ought to be a good reason for not adhering to the norm in this specific case, as it has the consequences of making the social interaction for some people such as myself more difficult.

Bantari wrote:

daal wrote:

Bantari wrote:I am grumpy and have toothache too every now and then, and then I rather people not put silly expectation on my spelling or manners.

What is silly about expecting people to have manners?

Nothing. But its all in the definition... isn't it?

For example:
I don't think saying "tx" instead of "thank you" is bad manners. It does not offend me.
However - forcing me to behave in a certain way just to satisfy your definition of "manners" - this is rude.

But I am probably weird, so peace out.

There is no force involved. I am merely exercising my right not to continue with any further games. If someone chooses to smoke in my presence then I will avoid them in the future. That is not forcing them to stop smoking. But if they want to continue to interact with me then they have the option to stop.

I used to type Hello, have a good game,
then I went to hi gg,
then I went to gg,
then I went to G,
then I decided it was better to keep quiet in case what I had written was used in evidence against me.

I usually wish my opponent an enjoyable game and then thank them at the end. Sometimes we get into a self-review if there's interest, otherwise I just do it myself.

I can't figure out how to chat on Tygem though, using the iOS client. As far as I can tell there's no way to do it, so I probably across as rude there.

Bantari wrote:Having people engage in a full conversation - even during the game - is the most pleasant online-go experience for me.

full conversation? I can't do it.
I might enjoy it, sure, but I'm playing a game and trying to concentrate on finding my next moves.
Its probably the part I enjoy the most about in-person over-the-board games, but still find it distracting (and I feel guilty for distracting my opponent when I do)

If someone doesn't chat at all, it's worth giving them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they don't speak even rudimentary English. Maybe they didn't notice the chat window. Heck, maybe they're banned from chatting. There's no reason to assume they intended to be rude.

On the other hand, if they follow up a victory with "LOL EZ," all bets are off.

DrStraw wrote:There is no force involved. I am merely exercising my right not to continue with any further games. If someone chooses to smoke in my presence then I will avoid them in the future. That is not forcing them to stop smoking. But if they want to continue to interact with me then they have the option to stop.

You are feel free to avoid whomever you like, for whatever reasons, no hard feelings. I do it all the time, to all kinds of people - even on this forum.

The problem I have is with calling people "jerks" - just because they do something you find less than fully pleasing.
If you dislike smoking - avoid smokers, no problem. But this does not mean all smokers are "jerks".
If you dislike people saying "gg" - avoid them as well. But this does not mean they are all "jerks".
Yet this is specifically what the OP stipulated, and the major point of my contention.

When you talk about your experience - as I did - and order it from more pleasurable to less pleasurable - this is your prerogative, and perfectly natural.
However - when you start calling people "jerks" just because they don't fully please you - then you are in danger of moving into this category yourself, in my eyes.

I hope this makes it more clear.

----------
PS>
Also, when you think about it a little more in this light - you will realize that there is some measure of social force exerted in this scenarion - much more so than if you simply avoided me. I don't mind being avoided, but I don't necessarily want to be though of as "jerk" and you possibly spreading a word that I am a "jerk", telling all your friends. So, in principle, you blackmail me into going out of my way to please you - or else you think or say bad things about my character.

There are things I might do to warrant you doing just that!
But saying "gg" instead of "Have a nice game, sire, pretty please" - this is not one of those things. Imho.