How can I enjoy Go without long-term expectations?

[Knotwilg]

For what it's worth, I'll share three experiences of mine. I share your thirst for improvement and can get bored when I no longer improve.

1. Go - when I stopped improving, my last major boost having been a jump from 2k to 2d somewhere in the early 2000s, I stopped playing competitive Go. In the 20 years since, I have been on and off studying the game. Hikaru, the Gu-Lee jubango, AI, occasional pupils ... have managed to revive my interest. I find pleasure in studying the endgame but I no longer pursue a higher rank. Even if I'm 3d on KGS these days, or 4d on Foxy, I consider myself a 2d for life. Now I'll grant you I'm a happier man stalling at 2d than I would have been stalling at 6k.

2. Guitar - my motivation for playing the guitar is derived from my half-vocation in life, to write songs and perform them for a small audience. I'm pretty good at writing songs, at least I'm happy with my craftsmanship in that domain, but I'm perennially frustrated with my level of guitar playing. There's no rank system in guitar playing but it's easy enough to judge my lack of talent by seeing yet another teenager passing by in swift manor. However, music is such a rich domain, full of sensations, beauty, joy ... that I can still enjoy playing the guitar while s***ing at it. Playing modest variations of the melody of "Summertime" to a backing track, is not the hardest thing in the world, but it can provide satisfaction already. So I keep practicing and evolving, mostly "horizontally". Playing yet another song, with the same skill set, is more satisfying than playing another game of Go, with the same skill set.

3. Table tennis - for five years now, I've played table tennis and unfortunately will likely need to stop due to persistent tennis elbow. TT is probably even more competitive than Go, if only because there's a major amount of psychological warfare going on between either end of the table. Still, there's a lot to learn and you can objectively measure your mastery of strokes, serves or other technical/tactical aspects of the game. It's easier to measure objective improvement by other measures than winning, than in Go. And it's also easier, I find, to convert improved skills into victories, than in Go.

So here we have it: compared to other pastimes, Go is competitive, with a dominant measure of improvement (winning), which is prone to single error, and where it is hard to know what skills to develop which will affect that measure. While one is struggling to improve, just playing more games at the same level does not give similar satisfaction as, for example, music. But beyond a certain level, and I'd say the dan level is chosen quite aptly for that kind of barrier, it becomes possible to enjoy the game, for its richness and versatility, learning from the pros, building strategies, focusing on certain aspects of the game, and being able to keep a steady level throughout the game (while still making the occasional mistake leading to another stupid loss).

[Kirby]

When you ask what you should do, that really depends on what you want. I heard a quote the other day, which was something to the effect of, "If you kind of want something, you'll make excuses. If you really want it, you'll get it done." I'd recommend that you do what you really want to do, whatever that may be - perhaps the option that'd give you the least regret in another 10 or 15 years?

That's a really good quote - so much so that I looked up the source,

"If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." - Jim Rohn

Needless to say, I've been finding more excuses than ways recently. In fact, I'm going to steal that quote for my signature here - hopefully you don't mind Kirby.

I don't mind... If I really wanted you to stop using that quote as your signature, I'd find a way to make it happen! Just kidding

Anyway, good luck. I hope that you find enjoyment in go and in life.

[Kirby]

Trying to grok the consistency of this last part:

While one is struggling to improve, just playing more games at the same level does not give similar satisfaction as, for example, music. But beyond a certain level, and I'd say the dan level is chosen quite aptly for that kind of barrier, it becomes possible to enjoy the game, for its richness and versatility, learning from the pros, building strategies, focusing on certain aspects of the game, and being able to keep a steady level throughout the game (while still making the occasional mistake leading to another stupid loss).

Do you mean that you didn't get (significant) satisfaction in go while struggling to improve, unless improvement was happening (e.g. in the form of winning more games and/or increasing in rank)? And now that you've reached dan level, you are able to have satisfaction without the struggle to improve?

Or do you mean that you get enjoyment from the game while staying at the same level, but not the same level of satisfaction as with music?

Or something else?