Self-Confidence

[hyperpape]

Very well said, Daniel. I'd add only that being humble isn't just about how your outward behavior, but also your thoughts. If Usain Bolt is humble, then he knows that he's the fastest sprinter on Earth, but he doesn't walk around thinking "I'm the fastest" all day long.

[Kirby]

Thanks a lot to everyone that's replied so far.

There seems to be a variety of different opinions in this thread, so to make it more clear in my mind, I have attempted to concisely summarize each of the responses that people have given. If I've misinterpreted anything, please feel free to correct me:
* I should think of what I DO know.
* Downplaying myself hurts others.
* Don't care what others think.
* Wrong definition of humility.
* To overcome this, I must learn to do something well.
* Read "Fight Your Fear and Win"
* I need therapy.
* In industry, it's necessary to brag. But also recognize others.
* I should become a go bum.
* Humility and low self confidence are not the same.
* Some people in industry actually do prefer not bragging about yourself.
* 105.9 is a cool radio station (OK, my interpretation).
* Better hire somebody that is nice. That's most important.
* I'm not humble if I think I'm humble.
* Wrong definition of humble. I'm not humble. My brain is compensating for my averageness.
* Humility can come from extremely high self-confidence.

---

If I organize these comments by subject (based on my feeling), I get something like the following:
* Wrong definition of humility.
* Humility and low self confidence are not the same.
* I'm not humble if I think I'm humble.
* Wrong definition of humble. I'm not humble. My brain is compensating for my averageness.
* Humility can come from extremely high self-confidence.

* Downplaying myself hurts others.

* I should think of what I DO know.

* Don't care what others think.

* In industry, it's necessary to brag. But also recognize others.
* Some people in industry actually do prefer not bragging about yourself.
* Better hire somebody that is nice. That's most important.

* Read "Fight Your Fear and Win"

* To overcome this, I must learn to do something well.

* 105.9 is a cool radio station (OK, my interpretation).

* I need therapy.
* I should become a go bum.

---

If I try to follow all of this advice, I have the following potential steps I can take:
1.) Realize that I am not really humble, and am hurting others around me with such behavior.

2.) Try to feel good about what I DO know, and about what I CAN do well. This means that I must learn to do things well.

3.) On the job and off, I should recognize others for their achievements. I should congratulate them when they do well, for example.

4.) I should read "Fight Your Fear and Win".

5.) I should listen to 105.9.

6.) I should get therapy and become a go bum.

7.) I should not care what others think.

---

That's a lot of steps, so if I consider what I can do in the immediate future, on a practical level, I can think of the following action plan:

1.) Recognize others for what they do. Encourage them, and admit their skills.

2.) Study harder to learn to do what I do well. Do whatever I can to do my best.

3.) Read "Fight your Fear and Win", and listen to 105.9.

4.) Don't care about what others think.

The other suggestions are good, but I'll focus mostly on these three items for now.

[daniel_the_smith]

I would emend that to, "My brain is compensating for my self-perceived averageness."

[Kirby]

I would emend that to, "My brain is compensating for my self-perceived averageness."

Haha. That's kind of funny. Thanks, though.

[EdLee]

Don't care about what others think...

Kirby, like all proverbs, we need to know when it applies and when it doesn't.
What Feynman meant but didn't say, of course, was:
...when you know you're right and they're wrong;
...unless they're right and you're wrong (or when they have better ideas than you.)
(More generally and importantly, knowing what is right and what is wrong, regardless of who says what.)
For example, the point of this whole thread and forum is to listen to and share one another's ideas.

[flOvermind]

1.) Realize that I am not really humble, and am hurting others around me with such behavior.

I think you got that one backwards. You're mostly hurting yourself ...

I would emend that to, "My brain is compensating for my self-perceived averageness."

Haha. That's kind of funny. Thanks, though.

... and that's a perfect example of that. You seem to automatically interpret Daniels remark as some kind of "lie to make you feel better".

7.) I should not care what others think.

First of all, I think in the context that should read "You should not care *as much* what others think *about you*".

Second, I think that's confusing cause and effect. If you've got high self-confidence, you don't need to care as much what others think about you. But you won't magically get high self-confidence by pretending not to care what others think.

How do you get there? As someone who cares way to much about what others think, I'm afraid I can't really help you there...

* I need therapy.

I highly doubt anyone on this forum, except you yourself, knows you well enough to be able to assert this with any kind of confidence. And as far as I know, noone here got a degree in psychology.

So if *you* think you might need therapy, then perhaps you should try it. In that case, you should probably stop listening to our hobby psychology, too

[Fedya]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ5spLy22mg[/youtube]

Confidence is very sexy... don't you think?