Lamb wrote:Have you even considered the circumstances Amanda was in before she decided to commit suicide? How would you feel if you had absolutely no one to turn to, and you believed that the whole world was against you? A lot of people think that suicide is a "selfish" thing to do, but in Amanda's case, maybe she thought she was helping the world? [...] I just think that saying that you "don't respect people who commit suicide" is really awful.
This is absolutely true. You make a good point.
There was a time I was seriously considering suicide. I didn't see a link to Amanda's case until just now. While it was not the main reason, some bullying was definitely involved.
Suicide is an irrational thing; so are emotions. Someone seriously considering suicide is someone who seriously believes it's the right thing to do in the circumstances. And it's not that they don't think they're loved or supported. They just don't feel it, or don't consider it, or they push on anyway. I felt terrible at the idea that I would do this to my dad and my family, but it just seemed like the only way.
I used to believe it was selfish act of weakness. But I can say with confidence that I am not weak-minded. And I am not selfish. Yet when I put myself in this position I was amazed to find that these were my own thoughts, my own decisions.
Like most suicide cases, my friends had no idea. This was brought on by a bit event in my personal life, and my dad had his suspicions and sent his love and support. It didn't really reach me though. That's the trouble. I was sad and isolated and I was living life in a world of pain - all of my own design. Although for me it was "I'm better off without all this" rather than the opposite, it's not hard for me to imagine the "Everyone is better off without me" mentality.
As a note, I don't believe in any 'life after death' scenario. So this is coming from someone who is absolutely terrified beyond comprehension of death.
In the end I had to drastically change the way I felt about someone, a full 180 degrees, before I could put my thoughts back together in a cohesive way, and get out of my suicidal state. It was a simple 'technique', really, something NLP could've helped with had I known (and not been in the middle of an irrational, self-destructive rampage).
Returning to Amanda's case and Lamb's comments, it was clear from the follow-up media craze that she had both a loving family and a great circle of friends. These things don't help if you don't let them. And in her own way, though it might be a sick thing to say, she did make the world a little better.
Suicide is a selfish act. It's irrational. It's the worst of solutions. But it's not something you can easily control or fight once you're in that gear. And the triggers are usually very real and hurtful situations, usually some form of abuse. Ever since my trial I've had new-found respect for people who are suicidal, because they're constantly fighting it. If they weren't, they'd have killed themselves. And I respect those who have taken the final step, not because it was a good idea, but because I know they fought until the bitter end.
I'm very detached from this experience now (all part of the process outlined above), but one thing that I had to fight down tears about earlier in composing this post, and the part that still terrifies me, is how I had almost hurt, on the deepest level, everyone who loves me, especially my dad. I used to brag about how I'd never even contemplate suicide, not knowing what it was like at all. Now I know for sure that I will never go there again.
Don't bash suicidal people; help them instead.