Life In 19x19

It's the search for the Invisible Tesuji - a metaphor for playing great moves, no one saw or could imagine.

And presenting my country at the WAGC will be great aswell - one day =)

Because its interesting and the better I get the more I like it.

edit: and I'm also very competitive

I want to get better at Go because I'm really bad right now and it's just embarrassing to be so bad at something you do and not try to improve.

CarlJung wrote:Secondly, I'm hesitant to think that go, as a form of meditation, has any merits that can't be done better with "regular" meditation.

I won't argue with that. However, taking an activity that is nerve-racking and turning it into something calm will have some meditative qualities. Also, being that I am a fairly high-strung person, it may even be necessary to incorporate meditation into the act of playing go. Proper meditation as a pre-game ritual, and 'quick' meditation during the game to slow me down and keep me relaxed.

This, however, presents a bit of a problem for me. The only form of meditation that has ever seemed to work for me is taichi (borrowing breathing practices from qigong so that it is more meditative). I feel like I should learn to perform sitting meditation, as it is closer to the state in which I play go. For now I will try to practice taichi before playing, but I'm afraid that the act of stopping and switching to a seated position to play may affect the calm more than I would like.

Kirby wrote:A lot of people aspire to become stronger at go. If this describes you, what drives you? What makes you want to become stronger?

I want to make fewer stupid mistakes, because feeling like an idiot because I miss the obvious reduces my enjoyment of the game.

I'd like to understand more about how the game works, because I hate losing and not knowing why.

I want to feel that I am improving because the process of improving is enjoyable in itself.

I want the game to continue to be challenging to me in new and different ways in the future. Learning the answers to the questions I have now will let me pose new questions later.

I just barely scratched the surface, so i know i can and need to improve.
I think I can enjoy the game even more with experience/knowledge.

But, alas I am slow at learning.

I have always played games my whole life and I have always strived to play each game as well as I can. Most games seem to have a platue that is pretty easy to reach but Go is not like that. There is always something else to learn.

I really like the mind work out it gives me and I like to at least play competivley against the people in my club.

I know I can get better. Picturing myself as a strong player in the future drives me.


I don't think I'll ever stop thinking like that, even when I am strong. There's always going to be a better move, a smarter way to think.


In a more childish sense, being a "dan" of any sort just sounds cool.

Nakamura wrote:In a more childish sense, being a "dan" of any sort just sounds cool.

I always imagine that dan players get special hats, and get to have little weekly pizza parties that nobody else is invited to. The first people allowed to visit the moon commercially will be dan-players, on all-expense paid tickets. Parents want dan-players to kiss their babies, and they're allowed to cut ribbons with giant novelty scissors. And lest we not forget, the commemorative novelty checks.

...but I mostly just want to get better because I enjoy learning.

I feel disappointed in myself when I play badly. When I look at a game afterwords or just look at the result of a sequence I thought would be good but turned out poorly I feel bad about it. So if I get better I'll be happier at the end of the game whether I win or lose. I sometimes resign before the game is actually lost if I feel really bad about the way I played up to that point.

The driving force behind improvement is affection for the game and attitude to treat it as challenge for brain. Improvement is consequence of this.

In a recent OTB tournament, at one stage I was so hyped by the tension of the game, I was literally shaking. Not sending neighbouring stones flying when placing my stones or capturing a prisoner was difficult. No doubt I'd be a better player if I could remain calmer in those situations, but that adrenaline buzz is definitely part of why I play.

Without the urge to improve I probably wouldn't have the same intensity when playing.

Because it sucks being weak and i hate it...

Because I hate losing.

two years ago after a rather exhausting "Hikaru no Go"-Anime-marathon-watch for 14hours I finally fall asleep. In this night I had a strange go related dream in which I visit a small Go-saloon filled with players. Some looked japanese, some chinese, some caucasian, some afro-american so I figured that this place must be somewhere in the USA (where else could you meet so many different people?). After watching some games some kind of organisator set a game for me with one of the younger players in the club. I was able to win with 3.5 points, the player was 5 kyu. After that I got a stronger opponent, which I beat, too. I got many opponents and I was able to beat them all with 3.5 points, after dozens of games I finally got the strongest opponent in the club, a 6-dan... I was able to beat him with 3.5 points, too.

Ater that I woke up.

I havent forgotten about the dream and now my goal is to fulfill it