Ian Butler's Go Journal

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Mon Mar 25, 2019 11:11 am

Let's play again soon.

Certainly!

Remember my "promise": one day I'll beat you.
Not sure yet if it can be an even match, or a handicap game, or if I'm just going to have to cheat, but that is still my promise

Also, with this going to Germany and the In-Seong's camp, I'm studying hard in preparation. It's so much fun! I've never had to study for a particular event before, and it's so cool! It's extremely motivating to be like: I'm going to do this and this, and study this and this, do this before I leave, so I'm in form!

Love it!

By the way, my studying now consists of: daily L&D (and sometimes the exact same problems the day after in blitz tempo, to see if I remember them and also to correct the ones I was wrong about), picking up new techniques in Jump Level Up, doing Lessons in Fundamentals one chapter a day, replaying AlphaGo, Lee Chang-Ho, Go Seigen (Shusaku put aside for now for a more modern feel in preparation for the event).

Might also start Get Strong at the Opening again for a re-course.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:16 am

Already I'm 92 re-played Pro Game in 2019.
Every time I invent exercises to do during the game.

For instance.
This game, estimate score every 10-20 moves.
This game, watch out for light and heavy shape and when it's used.
This game, try to find the next move for each diagram.
This game...

And you know what, I haven't stuck to my plan a single time.
I always get caught up in the story of the game, every single time.
I don't mind too much, I enjoy the flow of the game a lot!

Did a lot of Shusaku, but last few days it's all about Go Seigen vs. Fujisawa in their jubango. Amazing stuff.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:09 am

Played 2 real bad games yesterday. In a way, it's unfortunate to have a bad experience with playing again so close to the 2-week Go camp in Germany. I don't want to go there with a bad feeling about my Go. But it's a week before I have to leave, so I still have some time to get the confidence back. Or, at the very least, to forget the bad feelings coming from this game.

So, why were they bad?

I played 2 3H-games against knotwilg. Since my focus was to learn to attack, divide and conquer was to be the creed by which to live by.
The first game, I mess up already at move 16. It's a joseki I don't know, I play the wrong move. Ironically, trying to divide and conquer, trying to split white and launch an attack on the cutting stones.
It goes from bad to worse, I mess up L&D and the game was over quickly.

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$B Not joseki, and for a reason $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . O X X X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . O X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 X O . O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

The 5-4 had already unnerved me, too. Having forgot any 5-4 joseki, I didn't want to approach it, because against a Dan player, going into it without knowing joseki, I had a feeling I'd be tricked anyway.

The next game felt even worse for me. However, in the review, knotwilg pointed out it wasn't as bad as a thought. Still, I felt constantly assaulted and pushed around, I played a pincer twice, joseki I really dislike because the bad aji it leaves, especially against such a strong opponent.
Before the 70th move, I started playing weird, weird things, crazy wild Go. The reason was: I thought I was behind so much that I needed a desperate plan to be able to succeed. At least I had the decency to resign soon after.

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$ Position at move 57 $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . O X X . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . O X . . X . . . . X . O X X O . . | $$ | . . O , . . . . X , . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . O . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . | $$ | . . O X . X . X X X . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X . O . O O X . . . O X X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

At the above position, I felt lost already. In the post-game review, we established the 3H stones have been erased, but the game is fairly even. White has a few more points on the board, black has more potential. In the game, I only saw white leading with territory and me with a lot more aji.

So there has to be something to learn here. Both on and off the board.

On the board
Divide and conquer is a powerful weapon, use it more effectively.

Unfortunately I don't feel I've learned a lot more on the board, just more of the same old lesson. And perhaps 2 new joseki.
Then, at least, allow me to learn something off the board. Because I think I lost the games mentally more than anything I did on the board.

Off the board
- Detach from the board. I have the habit of seeing the board really grim for myself and really optimistic for my opponent. This leads to incredibly bad judgement.
- Don't play when you are ill and tired. Not looking for excuses, but I think that might've also played a (small) role.
- Find a way to deal with fear. After the joseki "blunder" of the first game, I played my second game way too consciously afraid. With white being a dan player, he was able to pick on every single bad shape move I made to take control of the game. I started being afraid to play moves because I was certain white would completely ruin my position.
- "You have to divide and conquer this game" doesn't work for me. It gives me a one-track mind for the game and I start making bad decisions. Being "forced" to play aggressive against a way stronger opponent that tears apart any bad or non-good shape I make is just a set-up to crash hard, I believe.
Maybe it's the best way to learn to attack, but it's certainly the harshest, too. Because I never even got a chance to attack, I was being too busy being attacked myself.

So, all in all a less pleasant experience with playing. Unfortunate timing with the Go camp coming up in a week. I need to get over it before I head there, I really do. I need to find strength again, instead of a whimpering fear to play. A week is enough time. I won't play too many games, but I should play at least one or two, hoping to recover my form a little bit.

jlt · Post by **jlt** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:59 am

You shouldn't feel bad about losing a 3H game against a dan player. So far the best I could do is win a 3H game against 1kyus, but I lose much more often than I win.

Concerning 5-4 points, here are some possibilities if you are afraid to make joseki mistakes:

1) Play 3-3. The 3-3 point is more "robust", so joseki mistakes are less problematic.

2) Don't approach the 3-3. Play elsewhere, and after some time, White will make a shimari and you'll get in a familiar situation.

Uberdude · Post by **Uberdude** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:18 am

Regarding the extend to fight in the first diagram, it's fine. Yes, hane on top to build the thickness is more common (and recognises the important point that by cutting on the inside you've made the corner already alive, so white only has the weak centre group), but extend to fight is ok too, and makes sense with your extra handicap stones. But you need to be aware of your liberty problems with white's 2nd line hane and cut after he extends, so black will normally make the sente hane there to defend that (descend in sente would be nice if white obediently answers it, but white can ignore and play on the outside as corner still a ko and has some liberties). Gu Li for example likes it, here he plays it against Lee Sedol in a game that interposed their 2014 Jubango, brief comments in GoGameGuru's Relentless book. http://ps.waltheri.net/database/game/69394/

P.S. Andrew Kay (who likes to fight) also likes it, here he plays it against me: viewtopic.php?p=220144#p220144 (last game of 3 in post). My resulting weak centre group and how I (mis)managed it was a major theme of the game.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:25 am

jlt wrote:You shouldn't feel bad about losing a 3H game against a dan player. So far the best I could do is win a 3H game against 1kyus, but I lose much more often than I win.

Concerning 5-4 points, here are some possibilities if you are afraid to make joseki mistakes:

1) Play 3-3. The 3-3 point is more "robust", so joseki mistakes are less problematic.

2) Don't approach the 3-3. Play elsewhere, and after some time, White will make a shimari and you'll get in a familiar situation.

You are right, of course, that I shouldn't feel so bad. However, I don't feel bad about losing, it's more that I felt bad about how I played. I felt pushed around from beginning to end, never finding my own rhythm, rather than the pace being dictated by white because he was able to use my inferior shape to get ahead. At least that's how I felt.

3-3 might be interesting, keep that in mind.
Your second approach to the 5-4 is actually what I went for in the first game. I was waiting for white to make a shimari and then I'd block the extension, which seemed fine. But it never got to that. In the second game, I tried a joseki that white had shown me between the two games.

Uberdude wrote:Regarding the extend to fight in the first diagram, it's fine. Yes, hane on top to build the thickness is more common (and recognises the important point that by cutting on the inside you've made the corner already alive, so white only has the weak centre group), but extend to fight is ok too, and makes sense with your extra handicap stones. But you need to be aware of your liberty problems with white's 2nd line hane and cut after he extends, so black will normally make the sente hane there to defend that (descend in sente would be nice if white obediently answers it, but white can ignore and play on the outside as corner still a ko and has some liberties). Gu Li for example likes it, here he plays it against Lee Sedol in a game that interposed their 2014 Jubango, brief comments in GoGameGuru's Relentless book. http://ps.waltheri.net/database/game/69394/

Wow, cool! I had no idea the hane against the corner worked so well. In the game, eventually I jumped 2 spaces from the 3 stones, but without the hane, and it was much weaker.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:34 am

You know, it often the case that I am a little too hard on myself. It's in my character and I do that too easily. Sometimes it's what drives me to push harder, but sometimes it's a bit destructive, too.

Maybe that was also the case for these games.
However, now I've simmered down the "disappointment" one level:

Yesterday:
- I was not disappointed by losing
- I was disappointed at playing inferior shape

Today, with a little more perspective:
- I am not disappointed at losing
- I am not disappointed at playing inferior shape. (it's a 8 kyu against a 2-3 dan, what would I expect?)
- I am disappointed at how quickly I despaired and thus ruined any chance I had to make the game harder for white

See, progress!

Bill Spight · Post by **Bill Spight** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:42 am

Ian Butler wrote:- "You have to divide and conquer this game" doesn't work for me. It gives me a one-track mind for the game and I start making bad decisions. Being "forced" to play aggressive against a way stronger opponent that tears apart any bad or non-good shape I make is just a set-up to crash hard, I believe.
Maybe it's the best way to learn to attack, but it's certainly the harshest, too. Because I never even got a chance to attack, I was being too busy being attacked myself.

For you, as for most people, the learning task should offer around a 50-50 chance of success. So playing with the proper handicap, or even a slightly higher one, since you are departing from your usual style, is indicated.

Bill Spight · Post by **Bill Spight** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:59 am

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc Approaching the 5-4 stone $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . b a c . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . d . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . O X X X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . O X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 X O . O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Yes, "a" is usual, but the other moves are also playable. "d" may look strange, but top level players played it a few hundred years ago. "c" and "d" have the advantage of working with the closest handicap stone. If I were taking 3 stones, "c" would be a frequent choice. A pro would know how to reply to "d". Most amateur dan players do not know.

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc What's your plan? $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . O X X . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . O X . . X . . . . X . O X X O . . | $$ | . . O , . . . . X , . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . O . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . b . | $$ | . . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X . c . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . | $$ | . . O X . X . X X X . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X . O a O O X . . . O X X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Neither side has any weak group to attack nor moyo to invade. Black needs to make a plan. He has to forget the proverb about not using thickness for territory. Where else is he going make it? It is important to find White weaknesses to exploit. Then moves like "a", "b", and "c" suggest themselves. If Black can build a large enough moyo White may invade it, and Black can attack the invasion. Black may even be able to build a large enough moyo so that White is unsure whether to invade or not.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 2:49 am

@Bill
Now that you say it, d makes perfect sense as an approach to the 5-4. If white still makes his shimare, d is perfectly placed.

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc Approaching the 5-4 stone $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . b a c . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . d . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . , . . . O X X X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . X . O X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 X O . O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

However, approaching at c with black responding at d sounds sensible, but amateurs will probably play at a. Then do you consider the approach at c as light, or do you have a good follow up? Potentially at b? Or do you play on d then anyway?

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc What's your plan? $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . O X X . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . O X . . X . . . . X . O X X O . . | $$ | . . O , . . . . X , . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . O . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . b . | $$ | . . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X O . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . X . . d . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X . c . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . | $$ | . . O X . X . X X X . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X . O a O O X . . . O X X O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . X O O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

My analysis during the game was that the right side didn't hold much territory for anyone, since it was undercut by white from both sides. Though I'd have to mention (I showed this to knotwilg during the review) that I didn't think c was a valid move. I couldn't read far enough to know white can't push up there.
Honestly, the best I had was forgetting all wisdom and trying to build territory with my influence starting at d or something.

yakcyll · Post by **yakcyll** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:04 am

Reading your journal feels really uncanny and cool, Ian, because you're much better at verbalizing what's in my mind

If it makes you feel better, I played the following sequences as white three days ago:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X . O O X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . . , . . O X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . 6 . O O X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . . 5 O X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . 1 2 X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . 4 O 3 X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . X O . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X X . . X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . O , X . . X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . O X . . X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . O X . X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . O X X . X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . X O O X X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . O 2 O 1 . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]

The funny part is that I only spotted the K12 atari in the second diagram the next day, during review. I couldn't get over it for yet another day.
I don't want to sound too harsh, but judging from my very similar experience - talking is nice, but it won't help figuring out why neither of us can prevent the tilt from occurring; it merely creates an illusion of trying to put effort into fixing the issue. If we want to keep improving, this should be the most urgent point to take care of and, at least personally, it seems like it will require some fundamental changes of character.

Knotwilg · Post by **Knotwilg** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:23 am

yakcyll wrote:Reading your journal feels really uncanny and cool, Ian, because you're much better at verbalizing what's in my mind

If it makes you feel better, I played the following sequences as white three days ago:
$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . X . O O X . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . X . . . , . . O X X X . X . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . 6 . O O X . X O . |
$$ | . . X X X . . . . . . 5 O X O O O . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . . 1 2 X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . 4 O 3 X X X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . O . . . X O . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . |
$$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . |
$$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . |
$$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . |
$$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X . O O X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . . , . . O X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . 6 . O O X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . . 5 O X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . 1 2 X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . 4 O 3 X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . X O . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]

$$
$$ +---------------------------------------+
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . . X X . . X . . . . |
$$ | . . O , . X . . O , X . . X X X . X . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . O X . . X . X O . |
$$ | . . X X X . . . . . O X . X O O O . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . O X X . X O X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . X O O X X X X X O . |
$$ | . . . . . . O . . O 2 O 1 . . X O . . |
$$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . |
$$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . |
$$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . |
$$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . |
$$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . |
$$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . |
$$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . |
$$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ +---------------------------------------+
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X X . . X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . O , X . . X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . O X . . X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . O X . X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . O X X . X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . X O O X X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . O 2 O 1 . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]
The funny part is that I only spotted the K12 atari in the second diagram the next day, during review. I couldn't get over it for yet another day.
I don't want to sound too harsh, but judging from my very similar experience - talking is nice, but it won't help figuring out why neither of us can prevent the tilt from occurring; it merely creates an illusion of trying to put effort into fixing the issue. If we want to keep improving, this should be the most urgent point to take care of and, at least personally, it seems like it will require some fundamental changes of character.

And did you realize that after that goof ...

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X X . . X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . O , X . . X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . 4 . . . O X . . X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . O X . X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . 2 . 3 O X X . X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . 1 X O O X X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . O O O X . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]

White has an attack going on against the upper left and by that token, given the rest of the board, is still way ahead?

OR

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$ $$ +---------------------------------------+ $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O X . . . . . . . X X . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . X X . . X . . . . | $$ | . . O , . X . . O , X . . X X X . X . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . O X . . X . X O . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . O X . X O O O . . | $$ | . . . O . . 6 4 2 O X X . X O X X O . | $$ | . . . . . 7 5 3 1 X O O X X X X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . O . . O O O X . . X O . . | $$ | . . . , . X O . . , O X O . X , O . . | $$ | . . O . . X O . O . O X . O . O . O . | $$ | . . O X . . X O . . O X X O . O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . X O O O X O X . . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . X O X X O X . . O X . . | $$ | . . . . X X X . X X X O X . . O O X . | $$ | . . . O X O O X X , . O O . . O X X . | $$ | . . O O O X O O X X . O . O O X . X . | $$ | . . X X . . . O O X . . . . X . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ +---------------------------------------+[/go]

... were you so upset that you stubbornly tried to save an inevitable local loss, turning it into a global loss?

yakcyll · Post by **yakcyll** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 4:19 am

Knotwilg wrote:... were you so upset that you stubbornly tried to save an inevitable local loss, turning it into a global loss?

That was it - being flustered, I thought I had to pull out all the stones. I managed to destroy most of Black's points on the bottom (that were not there in the first place I guess), but yeah, sacrificing would be the right way.

Ian Butler · Post by **Ian Butler** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:16 am

Hey Yakcyll, glad you enjoy my study journal

I don't want to sound too harsh, but judging from my very similar experience - talking is nice, but it won't help figuring out why neither of us can prevent the tilt from occurring; it merely creates an illusion of trying to put effort into fixing the issue. If we want to keep improving, this should be the most urgent point to take care of and, at least personally, it seems like it will require some fundamental changes of character.

Thanks for sharing! Perhaps, yes. But people can change, and in order to change you have to know what it is you have to change

I have already made progress, I expect to continue to do so!

Anyway, I am debating to myself whether I should start listening to music while playing online.
Playing online, I am not as strong as playing irl anyway, so maybe with music things are less serious and that might be good.
On the downside, my concentration will be even worse and maybe I will return to blitz-go too easily.
May be worth a try, though.

Bill Spight · Post by **Bill Spight** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:39 am

Ian Butler wrote:Anyway, I am debating to myself whether I should start listening to music while playing online.
Playing online, I am not as strong as playing irl anyway, so maybe with music things are less serious and that might be good.
On the downside, my concentration will be even worse and maybe I will return to blitz-go too easily.
May be worth a try, though.

There is the possibility that some types of music might aid concentration, namely, slow instrumental music at about 60 beats per second. The Pachelbel Canon is frequently cited as an example.

Life In 19x19

Ian Butler's Go Journal

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Strength in Losing

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Strength in Losing

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Strength in Losing

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Strength in Losing

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too

Re: Ian Butler's Journal - Weakness in losing, too