Life In 19x19

I've been having a bit of an identity crisis, Go-wise. My rank on OGS is so much worse than my rank on KGS, I have had significant troubles believing the KGS rank could be real.

However, today I played two games in-person, on the same day, one against a KGS 10-kyu and one against an OGS 15 kyu, and I won against the 10 kyu by 45 pts and lost against the 15 kyu by 40 points. These games are currently stuck on my iPad, but I will try to get them onto here shortly.

This pretty much is how my online Go life is going, so it's good to see it reflected in reality as well. I am consistently 5-6 stones weaker on OGS than KGS. I'd heard a rumor that the differential was 3-4 stones, but 5-6 seems statistically within reason for a single user's experience.

Also: Mark S., my normal sparring buddy at Go club has recently become 7 kyu on KGS, which means it makes more sense that I'm now losing consistently to him -- he got significantly stronger!

Basically what I'm saying here is: Yay! My self-doubt is alleviated! Game on!

Hi Sam,

Within the last month (12/1/14-12/31/14)

OGS you have played about 15 19x19 matches against people that were similarly ranked to you. I attached an image of those games. I have no idea about these games (if they're rated/free), but some of them seem to be blitz. KGS you have played no rated games. The games you have played are either against unranked players or a many faces of Go player. Also, your rating is still technically undefined.

I think if you want to see progress you're going to have to start playing on a more consistent schedule against similarly ranked players in a more serious setting. If you can do at least 3 slow ranked games a week on KGS you should see some eventual progress. Otherwise I do not think you will see the progress you want. I don't think playing on OGS, blitz, or 9x9 is beneficial to your game at all.

On the problem of time management: quit blogging.
On rank: it WILL evolve as you improve. You don't improve by worrying about rank.

EdLee, Often, Knotwilg:

Fair enough.

Over the past week I have barely trained at all, which I originally blamed on Christmas/New Years. I had been doing (too many) problems a day, split between Guo Juan and the Yunguseng site, but I think I'm burned out.

Since my training is slowing down and my focus on rank is unhelpful and misplaced, I think I'll just stop most of my Go work for a while, inlcuding most of my posting too. I'll do the Yunguseng stuff for the current season, focusing on having fun again, which would be nice, and I'll see how my motivation is after that.

I stopped by Dallas Go Club and had a few games a few weeks back.

The first time I have played go in a year, almost exactly.

I almost died in October of last year; a hole in my cranium had let non-sterile air next to my brain. I survived, and, quite luckily, I did not get meningitis or any measurable brain damage. However, my body is /still/ ruined from the forced bed rest, and my spirit is crumpled at the edges. I do not feel like my old self. That's okay, though. It's good to be alive.

When I played the first game, I could remember the general shape of the Mini Chinese, but I could not remember even the most basic corner joseki. This did not surprise me, as I had only invested 9 months of actual work in the game, and I had taken a year off. Honestly, I was happy to remember as much as I did.

I approached a 4-4, got pincered, jumped into 3-3, and my mind went completely blank. I ended up losing the whole corner. Most of my reading seems to be gone, too, and will have to be rebuilt. It's just a hazy mess. The one thing I did seem to maintain was my game sense, and my ability to feel (if not actually count) where the big moves were. I managed to turn the game around by building a huge moyo one one-point jump at a time, and my opponent resigned. I wish I had recorded it, but if I had added that amount of work to my night I would not have played at all.

I played and lost a few more. In these games, I started out well, but would lose track of critical moves and get cut off and not realize for another fifteen moves. Often I would see something I recognized, but simply couldn't remember the way to save the group.

I have since played a few games on OGS under the name nemoutis, just a handful of fast ones to have fun, and I did have fun. A sample game:


However, after these games my heart would not stop hammering uncomfortably. Just the thought of logging into KGS does the same. It shouldn't. I know this. It's not logical. I seem to have some sort of extreme anxiety tied to the game that I do not experience anywhere else in my life. If I didn't like the game so much, I would just walk away and probably be better off for it. It is, perhaps, tied to how I got into go -- as an escape from the grisly work of recovering from the house fire. That's just a guess, though. Whatever it is, I will have to overcome it to play more of the game.

Since it was so detrimental to me in the past, I have actively avoided even thinking about my rank. I am just studying and playing. Mostly studying, as that does not cause the strange panic attacks. I am on Guo Juan's site, trying to fill all the huge gaps in my skill set and recover some of the stuff I used to know cold, like the basics of the Mini Chinese, the Choi Cheolhan Fuseki, and one of the Avalanche variations.

Most of my training is Anki flashcards as opposed to her training system. When I have her training system in front of me, I start guessing instead of reading. Flashcards don't let me do this. The downside is that most of my "Go Study Time" is me making flashcards painstakingly by hand as I step through a video; I currently get only a handful an hour complete, as most of them have many variations to memorize.

I have tried making cards from the downloadable SGFs of the classes, but she often puts stray moves at the beginning of a lecture, and Drago does not let me remove them. This is likely just me not knowing enough about the technology I am using; I bet someone here knows a good work around. If she had downloadable SGFs of the problems, now that would make this so much easier! But I understand why she doesn't do that.

I also bought Go Game Guru's AMAZING book, "Relentless." I wish I could download it directly into my skull. It takes me about 15 minutes to put together a good flashcard from that book. 4 an hour. SOOOO slow. I am still in the first game and will stay there for probably 2 years at this rate.

I was attracted to Go because of its infinity, but now the infinity is intimidating me. So much to learn! And too many flashcards to make!

One interesting note: It took me almost no time to memorize the first 50 moves of game 1 in Relentless. My brain seems to have built at least some sort of grammar circuits for moves now, even if they are only on the level of, "Jack runs down the street. Run, Jack, run." Pro games are fun stories now, not incomprehensible gibberish.

I'm glad you're finding a way to enjoy the game of Go. Best of luck with your continued recovery and never ending journey in the game!

Hi Sam,

Welcome back !!

Thank you, Ed. Great feedback, as always. I especially appreciate the solid mix of positive comments and corrections.

You're right about his 3-3 point; I should have hit it much earlier. I had intended to invade after reducing (see variations), but that would have given him a chance to solidify his territory, if he wasn't playing so slow.

In regards to avoiding the empty triangle on move 31: I thought about this quite a bit (for as long as I could, considering the 6-second per move time limit). I didn't make the empty triangle lightly. I felt like the good-shape hane would make his lower side group much stronger, and I felt like I had good reductions and maybe even some attacking options if I didn't touch it.

I also thought that with the empty triangle, if he made the "slanted bamboo joint" (my term) with 32, my extension G7 would be sente and allow me to jump into the 3-3, taking most of his points away. He would then have to choose which way to build and which way to leave weak.

I've reuploaded with what I read during the game (which was a pipe dream) and some variations I came up with just a few seconds ago (since it is past midnight here, the thinking may be questionable).

Hello Perhaps some of the comments I've included in the game will help you. Good luck!

(commentary starting at move 35)

Thanks, Koosh. Some really interesting ideas in there I hadn't thought about!

Your last comment confused me, though: that I could extend my territory with D7, but it would be better to invade.

I'm playing black (nemoutis); perhaps you thought I was white? I was seriously considering jumping to D7 as an invasion/reduction to cut the white stones in the middle. If white has a lackluster response defending his corner, I had considered perhaps following with 3-3, as his moyo is already destroyed. He does have some good invasions in my territory, but it still felt very comfortable at this point. It felt like if he did too many crazy invasions once he was isolated, I could just cut them off and he would end up with weak groups struggling to live all over the board, and I could lean on them to solidify territory. At that point it's my game to lose.

I was very surprised when my opponent timed out, but we were at 6 seconds a move, so I guess he had too much to think about.

Well, shucks! You're right. I had thought you were W Still getting used to the board again.

Overall, at the end of the commentary I posted, I liked B's position much more than W's position. It would have been tough for W to come back - especially if you can apply the rules of priority that are left as a comment on move 41

It's hard to comment since you are talking about when the game ended on time and I am talking about the commentary I provided here, but for me, it seems like playing 3-3 at the end of my commentary is better than D7. If you finish the sequence with sente, then you can play up top again. That would make it very difficult for him.

Once W has F10, it's very hard to attack these W stones.

Great ideas, man thanks for the advice, you are probably right. Not sure what I would have done in the actual game with just 6 seconds to spare. It was a toss up for me at the time, leaning toward 3-3. 3-3 had been my original plan.

I knew 3-3 would take away a lot of territory, and I was afraid the invasion on the side would either get cut or he would just live in my moyo easily... which would mean the invasion was an overplay... but that doesn't mean I would have picked the better move.

Logically, I know that attacking is not always the best option, and I also know (from sad experience) that attacking can go sideways fast and hurt you more than help you. But I love to attack. I love dragon hunting. My fondest memories are of games where I captured a huge dragon or sealed off so much territory it was ridiculous (but there are many failures as well, many that lost me the game).

One of my weaknesses is that I do not know when to stop attacking. I am too persistent and unreasonable about it and should just cash in on my small victories. I know all this, and I'm working on it, but...

6 seconds isn't a lot of time to talk yourself out of doing something crazy.

Dragon Hunting is great. You'll get plenty of that if you follow that priority rule. Your opponents will feel pressure from your good moves and start invading everywhere. That's when you load up the ol'dragon arrows.

The whole "profit while attacking" concept can be a little tough to perfect. Wish I knew it well, for starters. The basic principle there is to choose an attack that surrounds on the outside rather than throwing a dagger to the inside (until you have no choice but to do otherwise). If the group escapes, it is no longer weak, and if you attack from the outside a couple of times, you often build a moyo.

Simple when you say it, harder to do, right? I will definitely memorize the priority rules. I've been looking for a sort of checklist to go through every turn, to build better habits, and it seems to be a good framework for a start.