A beginner's journal of little interest

[Boidhre]

At the same time, handicap fuseki is stressful, by design. Maybe others will be horrified, but I tend not to think too hard facing 2+ stones... If I obsess over how horrible and vulnerable my position is, I'll have a headache by the time I see the first mistake. (there is a strange tendency, if you look at the malko games, for observers to make "omg w is a fake Dan can't handle so much handi" kinds of comments. The position looks bad because there's a handicap, people. You can't claw back 2 stones in ten moves.)

This is true. A friend described playing against 9 stones to me as "I'm going to die everywhere," and then 100 moves later...

[jts]

This is true. A friend described playing against 9 stones to me as "I'm going to die everywhere," and then 100 moves later...

Yes, exactly. It is, of course, not good to play in ways that hope for mistakes from your opponents. But playing as though you were reviewing an even game, dismissing variations because they aren't good for white or leave weaknesses and looking for something better... that way lies madness.

By the way, getting up to get yourself a drink on move 5 is a good way to slow yourself down and think carefully about the fuseki.

[Boidhre]

Back to 11k for the moment.

Played a 7k friend, got killed all over the board. Some major blunders as per usual. I was playing too often in gote I think. I need to get more real time games in, I've played far too few and my thinking under time pressure has gotten very sloppy.

Anyway, enjoy me getting crushed.

[EdLee]

Basics. Basic broken shapes.

[Boidhre]

Thank you for the detailed comments Ed.

[EdLee]

Boidhre, broken shapes can take a long time to fix (they did for me ).
Are you getting any sense of what they are yet, or, still no feelings at all toward them?

[Boidhre]

Boidhre, broken shapes can take a long time to fix (they did for me ).
Are you getting any sense of what they are yet, or, still no feelings at all toward them?

Sometimes I see them in potential moves, sometimes I see opportunities to make them in my opponent's moves (though I'm not sure if I should or not). Often I'm oblivious until after the fact.

I figure it'll come in time like most things seem to in go.

[EdLee]

(a) Sometimes I see them in potential moves

Good.

(b) Often I'm oblivious until after the fact.

Yes, bad.

(c) sometimes I see opportunities to make them in my opponent's moves

Good...

(d) though I'm not sure if I should or not.

...yes, this is the next step, and more difficult.

I figure it'll come in time like most things seem to in go.

Hmmm... the most important thing now is (b), IMHO.
Recently, there's a lively discussion here: http://www.lifein19x19.com/forum/viewto ... =10&t=6327
You're still in the very early phase of recognizing/seeing the basic broken shapes.
You must work hard to see them ahead of time; just one move ahead of time, not even two --
Maybe 95%+ of the notes about your broken shapes are only 1-move ahead?
Have you gone through all your games, in this thread alone, multiple times each, just seeing the broken shapes?

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$$ . . X . . . . . . X . . .
$$ . O O O O . . . O O O . .
$$ . . . X . . . . . X . . .
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$$ . . X . . . . . . X . . .
$$ . O O O O . . . O O O . .
$$ . . . X . . . . . X . . .
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .[/go]

[Boidhre]

(a) Sometimes I see them in potential moves

Good.

(b) Often I'm oblivious until after the fact.

Yes, bad.

(c) sometimes I see opportunities to make them in my opponent's moves

Good...

(d) though I'm not sure if I should or not.

...yes, this is the next step, and more difficult.

I figure it'll come in time like most things seem to in go.

Hmmm... the most important thing now is (b), IMHO.
Recently, there's a lively discussion here: http://www.lifein19x19.com/forum/viewto ... =10&t=6327
You're still in the very early phase of recognizing/seeing the basic broken shapes.
You must work hard to see them ahead of time; just one move ahead of time, not even two --
Maybe 95%+ of the notes about your broken shapes are only 1-move ahead?
Have you gone through all your games, in this thread alone, multiple times each, just seeing the broken shapes?

$$
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$$ . . X . . . . . . X . . .
$$ . O O O O . . . O O O . .
$$ . . . X . . . . . X . . .
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .
$$ . . X . . . . . . X . . .
$$ . O O O O . . . O O O . .
$$ . . . X . . . . . X . . .
$$ . . . . . . . . . . . . .[/go]

I've tried to keep in mind what shapes are broken when playing. I recognise them in my reviews. I've yet to translate that into seeing them ahead in games. I know the biggest problem for me is the broken keima. I just don't see it far too often. I'm starting to see more of these in my opponent's moves which I assume is the prelude to being able to see them ahead in my own.

[Boidhre]

I do wonder at the moment, does my depression (current) affect my go? I mean do I play passively, do I play meekly? I do dwell on this a bit, not because my current rank is very important to me, my rank will sort itself out over time, but because I wonder if go is a reflection of one's current mentality. When high, I feel I play with confidence and perhaps above my rank, when low I feel I play under my rank and meekly. Is this perception correct? Do others see it in my go? (Idle question rather than serious )

[lemmata]

Perhaps it is a matter of impatience. When I am on a losing streak, I often feel the urge to push an advantage too hard and decide the game quickly. This often leads to bad overplay that turns a winning position into a losing one.

There is also fear of uncertainty. When I am feeling weak, I might feel like playing a low move where a high move is appropriate because I like the certainty of the low move. It reduces the number of possible futures for that position. Of course, what I am neglecting is that it eliminates mostly good futures for me if the opponent plays correctly. It's paradoxical. The fear of uncertainty makes me choose the certain loss of profit. This also appears in my habit of playing unnecessary forcing moves so that I can reduce the number of possible futures.

These are all flaws that we exhibit in real life away from the go board.

The psychology of go really spans the entire spectrum of human experience.

[EdLee]

I wonder if go is a reflection of one's current mentality.

Very much so.

[daal]

I do wonder at the moment, does my depression (current) affect my go? I mean do I play passively, do I play meekly? I do dwell on this a bit, not because my current rank is very important to me, my rank will sort itself out over time, but because I wonder if go is a reflection of one's current mentality. When high, I feel I play with confidence and perhaps above my rank, when low I feel I play under my rank and meekly. Is this perception correct? Do others see it in my go? (Idle question rather than serious )

I think this is something that many of us struggle with, depressed or not. I think it's a good idea, whether you are up or down to try to stay aware of any tendency or desire to play meek and cowardly moves and nip it in the bud. My experience is that even when I lose games where I've played what seemed to be the courageous move, the games have been more interesting and more fun than had I chosen the spineless route. Going down the submissive and compliant path leads to games where losing is harder to swallow, so, even if you're down, don't miss the opportunity for a thrilling and invigorating fight.

[Bill Spight]

Your opponent played very nicely.

[Boidhre]

Thanks Bill, plenty to chew over there.