A beginner's journal of little interest

[Boidhre]

Congratulations, you got it! Now for extra credit, figure out how W manages to avoid this ko in the second diagram

You're evil.

[lemmata]

On a psychological note: Sometimes I'm low at the moment and feel like with go I'm wasting my time since I'll never be particularly strong at it. Then at other times I enjoy it for what it is, a game, and don't worry about strength or rank and just focus on enjoying my games.

You did a good job. This particular problem was not a beginner problem. It really helps to solve many tsumego problems rated at anywhere between 30k-8k. I still do those now. I lost a game the other day because I didn't see a potential atari my opponent could play in a complicated fight, so I probably need to do more of those problems. This probably applies to all amateur players, but especially to DDKs: Not missing the easy opportunities and not making the easy mistakes makes a HUGE difference in rank (perhaps as big as 5-10 ranks if you are 15k on KGS).

The following is a beginner problem that is related to the harder problem:

$$ Black to start ko for the corner
$$ ------------------
$$ . . . . . . . X . |
$$ . . . . X O O O . |
$$ . . . X . X O . O |
$$ . . . . . X X O O |
$$ . . . . . . . X X |
$$ . . . . . . X . . |

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$ Black to start ko for the corner
$$ ------------------
$$ . . . . . . . X . |
$$ . . . . X O O O . |
$$ . . . X . X O . O |
$$ . . . . . X X O O |
$$ . . . . . . . X X |
$$ . . . . . . X . . |[/go]

I absolutely know that you know how to solve this problem. You only missed it because it was part of a longer, more difficult problem (and also because you were doing problems late at night instead of sleeping). That is because there are more distractions in a longer problem. The same goes for a game. There are many distractions in a game because the board is huge and many things are going on. Yet, these beginner mistakes add up in a game quite fast.

In a DDK game, you will never lose because you couldn't figure out how to make ko in 6 moves. However, you might lose many games because you missed 20 opportunities in each game to make a ko in 1 move (or some similarly profitable 1-2 move sequence). Quickly seeing the simple problems in a game is a real skill that must (and can) be acquired through repetition.

So don't feel discouraged. You can certainly improve many ranks just by drilling the stuff you already know! Happy trails, fellow go soldier.

[Boidhre]

Thanks lemmata.

[Boidhre]

I feel like I should post a game and the one I have is a very narrow victory. A close game, played over several months in which both of us got stronger I think. I'm sorry to say that since I was 18k and she was 14k at the end it resulted in a major swing in both directions for us which I feel a bit bad about.

http://lifein19x19.com/forum/download/file.php?id=1907

I feel like my passivity in this game will be a serious barrier to progress for me going on.


In terms of sleep, unfortunately a sleeping tablet and two benzo tablets made no dent in my insomnia so it might be another sleepless night for me which would be very unfortunate as I've a friend from out of the country visiting tomorrow and I promised him a game of go (he's a fellow beginner).

[EdLee]

(;CA[utf-8]OT[90 days + 1 day per move and 10 extra periods]XM[167]GM[1]FF[4]AP[SmartGo:2.8.3.0]
SZ[19]RU[Japanese]DT[2012-04-01,2012-08-02]PC[Dragon Go Server]PB[Black]BR[16k]
PW[ Boidhre]WR[17k]KM[2.5]RE[W+2.5]MULTIGOGM[0]
;B[qd];W[dp];B[ec];W[pq];B[po];W[np];B[qq];W[qr];B[qp];W[or];B[ce];W[pm]C[Good.]
;B[qm];W[ql];B[qn];W[pl];B[rr]
(;W[jd]C[B. This move, I'm not so sure about. I think approaching the top right corner might be bigger now.

E. See var.]
;B[od];W[qh];B[hc];W[md];B[qf];W[jq];B[cj];W[cm];B[ch];W[eq];B[qj]
(;W[ph]C[See var.])
(;W[pj]C[Simple and good. End of notes.]))
(;W[rs]LB[rr:a][rq:b][qs:c]C[Basic shape.
This move is almost automatic for this shape.
If B does not reply, then you have (b) and the entire B group is not alive.
If you miss this, then B has (c) atari, which is also free for B.
This is why this first line hane is so big here.]))

[Boidhre]

Thanks Ed.

[Boidhre]

I haven't been posting much because a) I've been depressed, b) I feel like I waste people's time on here and c) am rapidly losing interest in go because of the depression. It's a struggle to continue my turn based games and I've not had the courage to play real time in weeks. I hope things change and I'll be more active again both as a player and as a poster but until then I would like to very much thank all the people who took time to help me in this thread and elsewhere on this site. It's been greatly appreciated.

[topazg]

I haven't been posting much because a) I've been depressed, b) I feel like I waste people's time on here and c) am rapidly losing interest in go because of the depression. It's a struggle to continue my turn based games and I've not had the courage to play real time in weeks. I hope things change and I'll be more active again both as a player and as a poster but until then I would like to very much thank all the people who took time to help me in this thread and elsewhere on this site. It's been greatly appreciated.

Sorry to hear about the depression, you certainly haven't wasted your time on here - I check this thread every now and again just to see any progress

[Bonobo]

I, too, read this thread regularly, and not only b/c I also have to do with heavy depression, thank you for sharing, for me reading this definitely is NOT a waste of time.

BTW you mention turn-based playing … DGS? Let’s play there if you like, I for one found that playing turn-based helps me overcome my OGA.

Greetings, Tom

[Boidhre]

I, too, read this thread regularly, and not only b/c I also have to do with heavy depression, thank you for sharing, for me reading this definitely is NOT a waste of time.

BTW you mention turn-based playing … DGS? Let’s play there if you like, I for one found that playing turn-based helps me overcome my OGA.

Greetings, Tom

I play mostly on OGS these days. Thanks Tom.

Thanks, topazg.

[Boidhre]

Had a better day today, perhaps a good sign, with the aid of some anti-anxiety medication I went to the go club, it was a small meeting just three of us. I got beaten soundly twice by an EGF 2k in an even game and a 3 stone game and had a good win against an EGF 10k with 4 stones. Happy enough with this.

[EdLee]

Happy enough with this.

Nice.

[Boidhre]

A close game with a friend on KGS. I missed two points in the endgame. I haven't played much at all on KGS and have properly earned a ?.

http://lifein19x19.com/forum/download/file.php?id=1937

[Boidhre]

Over 2 games I've gone from 10k? to 8k. This variance is insane, there is no way I'm an 8k. I'll be 10k again soon I think, I wasn't even a solid 10k to begin with!

[Bill Spight]

Over 2 games I've gone from 10k? to 8k. This variance is insane, there is no way I'm an 8k. I'll be 10k again soon I think, I wasn't even a solid 10k to begin with!

The variability is appropriate. There is no way that you are a 10 kyu, there is no way that you are an 8 kyu. Maybe you are a 6 kyu.

Seriously, at this point in your go career, you could go up 4 - 5 stones in one week.