Life In 19x19

Jermelle wrote:I suggested they play on, I killed a few stones (like 5-6 stones) and he just quit even tho it was so early in the game.

General life tip: the equivalent of killing a small group when someone feels like all is lost isn't the best way to encourage someone. It's what you do when you want to break their spirit.

Drstraw I have friends that are not banned on KGS that tell me anything I ask them too friends are there for you. I won't name their names but let's just say... they are always willing too help. They are my eyes and ears and mouth of needed

Jermelle wrote:Drstraw I have friends that are not banned on KGS that tell me anything I ask them too friends are there for you. I won't name their names but let's just say... they are always willing too help. They are my eyes and ears and mouth of needed

You may be a little too young to realize this, but true friends don't tell you anything you ask them to. A true friend is honest with you and willing to tell you when you screw up. Yes, a true friend is supportive when you are in need, but I would be cautious of calling any "yes man" a friend. My best friend has called me an idiot on several occassions and I am grateful for it (he also plays go with me).

That said, let me give you some friendly advice.

I am sorry that you were insulted on the KGS. I feel the person who insulted you was wrong to do so and they should not have mocked you or said that you were a lower rank than you are. Looking at some of your other games, it looks like your behavior is fine most of the time. However, your behavior in this most recent game is not acceptable. Yes, you were being pushed around after the game and this should not have happened, but your response was not right. Attacking others is not an acceptable way to stand up for yourself. Using vulgarity is also not a generally accepted behavior on the KGS and can be deserving of a ban in-and-of itself.

I am not saying you should back down from bullies, but you need to defend yourself properly on the KGS - remaining civil. An issue with the way this situation was handled is that this behavior can lead to more bans in the future.

Jermelle wrote:But the only issue is that my friends on KGS have told me (via. FaceBook) that they plan on harassing me until I crack again. This is the kind of stuff I talk about when I say "KGS trolls" Now I know the admins won't do anything about it this time because they think of it has teasing. But it's not, teasing and harassment are 2 very different things.

Oddly enough, I see my younger self there....

I was bullied at school, when a bit younger than you. The teachers called it teasing, since there was no physical abuse (unlike an earlier episode), and seemed to do nothing about it. They just told me to not let the teasing get to me.

But now, in the light of recent experience, I wonder whether they were well-aware of what was happening and couldn't do anything directly because maybe that would turn me into some sort of "teachers' pet" and so give the teasers more ammunition for their teasing.

Eventually one teacher took me aside and talked to me. She made it clear that it was not my fault I was being teased---young kids tend to do it at random until they hit on a reaction. That's the nature of kids. But it was partially my fault that they were zeroing in on me because of the way I was reacting. I have a short temper and I was tending to start screaming at them, which is very entertaining from their point of view.

So I learned to shrug and walk away (the "whatever" response is not new). I did lose a promising piece of knitting because they were using it to play "piggy-in-the-middle" above my head, but eventually they stopped. One of them even said "you're no fun any more". And maybe it was more difficult for me because this was a boarding school---I couldn't just log out.

So just be polite and walk away. It might take a while, but if you are no longer so entertaining, they'll find someone else to tease (solving their own problems is a different matter).

....oh, and a vital skill that every good teacher develops is how to encourage beginners to continue.

Looking backward from the teacher's perspective, the teacher can see there's a huge volume of knowledge that the beginner will need to absorb, but the beginner does not need to realise just how huge that volume is. Yet. So the teacher skillfully leads the student on to starting to discover that knowledge for hirself. The teacher might even be up-front and say "I'm giving you lots of stones, so you are bound to win!" If the game goes wrong and the student realises it, the teacher agrees and suggests Undo until the student is back at a situation where he feels he's still winning. Or suggests a new game.

Note that the teacher is not "letting the student win" but setting up the teaching situation so the student has a good chance of catching the go-playing bug.

Thanks Nyanjilla. I owe you for this

Splatted wrote:If you challenge a 3d to an even game people expect you to be around 3d. Of course they're going to think your weak when they see you playing like a kyu player because from a dan's perspective a 5k is weak. That's not an opinion it's a fact and I say it as someone who is also around 5k. We have basically no chance of beating them. They don't care if we're 5k or 10k and they probably can't tell the difference in an even game. It's an easy win either way.

I realise my earlier post sounds like I'm criticising you so I wanted to clarify that I was just trying to point out what a pointless argument it was. whether it's true or not I do agree that it's rude to call someone weak.

Oh i knew it wasn't an insult, I understood what you were saying.

Then all is well.

So anyway, i got back on KGS I got teased again. But I censored them and left the room ;0

Jermelle wrote:So anyway, i got back on KGS I got teased again. But I censored them and left the room ;0

You just levelled up in real life

lol I mean I left the room i knew that they would still be talking about me, but I quoted Nyanjilla and I left the room.

I know, but acting like this is what makes "you" level up, not the image you have about you or the image others have but what you are.

wooo, I feel better now /o/

Jermelle wrote:So anyway, i got back on KGS I got teased again. But I censored them and left the room ;0