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Kirby's Study Journal

https://lifein19x19.com/viewtopic.php?t=8493

Page 43 of 128

Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:44 pm
by EdLee
Congrats on your 5-0 score so far. Good luck with Game 6 tomorrow! :)

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:05 am
by daal
Kirby wrote:
But what's past is past. There is no need to dwell on negativity excessively. Rather, I'd like to look forward to what I can do from this point forward.

So, I have made a resolution for this year's Go Congress. In contrast to the last two years, where I had ambitions of winning all of my games, my goal is different this year. Namely, my goal for this year's Go Congress is to reignite my passion for the game. I can play games online any day. But Go Congress happens only once a year. And if anything can make me passionate again about Go... It's probably the US Go Congress. So here's to finding my passion, again. :salute: Cheers!
American Go E-Journal wrote: Albert Yen Leads in US Open: Albert Yen 7D, undefeated going into the final round of the US Open on Saturday, is the favorite to win this year’s Open. Other 5-0 players: Xiaocheng Hu 4D; Yifan Zhang 3D; Gilbert Feng 2D; Brian Kirby 1D; Kelly Liu 1D; Mark Fraser 7K; Sherrie Echols 9K; Ryan Kim 21K. Click here for complete results through Round 5
Looks like passion is working for you :) Way to go!

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2015 12:11 pm
by Kirby
Thanks, guys. The short answer is, yes, my passion is back.

Going 6-0 is just a bonus :-)

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 2:39 am
by Uberdude
Well done Kirby. Can we see the games?

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:09 am
by Kirby
Uberdude wrote:Well done Kirby. Can we see the games?
I didn't record them, but I should be able to remember them for the most part. I also have some ideas from Inseong, and also Feng Yun for one of the games.

I've got to submit a code review for work, but I'll see if I can reconstruct the games here after that.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:49 pm
by Kirby
I decided to start posting here, again. Earlier, I got into a rut - I played a lot of games, but the quality of play and review was low.

I will try to refrain from that and make sure I put thought into any games or reviews that I have.

Here's a game I played today, along with some comments and variations.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:55 pm
by Kirby
Here are some interesting positions.

Position 1
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 29
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . , B . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
In the game, I played the marked move. It seems a bit lacking in strategy to me. It doesn't protect an invasion in the top right, isn't connected with the bottom right corner, and is just kind of sitting there.

To be safer against invasion, I could play this:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 29
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . B . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
But ultimately, I think I like to just enclose the corner in this case:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 29
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . B . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I can't get everything in one move, and enclosing the corner is solid. Furthermore, I can followup when white plays on the right:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 29
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . 5 . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . 2 . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . , 3 . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . 1 . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I think this type of play is fine.

Position 2
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 53
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X B . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . a . . |
$$ | . O . . . O O . . . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . X O O O O . O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X X X O X O O X . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Though my opponent answered it, the marked move was naive of me. White can proceed to jump in at 'a' and do damage. Instead, I should just block:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 53
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . B . |
$$ | . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O . . . O O . . . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . X O O O O . O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X X X O X O O X . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I also think the marked moves were small ones:
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$ Position at move 53
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X X . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . B O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O . . . O O . . . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . B O O O O . O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . X X X O X O O X . . . . O . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
---

I included some other variations of positions I thought were interesting in the SGF file.

But I'm not going to elaborate for the sake of quantity. I want to avoid making garbage reviews, so I'll stick to just these two positions for now.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 6:37 am
by ez4u
A few alternative positions...

Position A
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bcm1
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 6 8 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 5 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . 7 . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 3 O . O X . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . 1 . 2 X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Ishida gives :b1: as a possibility when there is a White stone around the left-side star point. Black plays to reduce White's left side. My database bears this out. All 40+ examples of :b1: have a White position on the left side. White should probably block at 2. If 3, White plays 4 and is happy to let Black live in gote. The play at 'a' remains as sente against the corner.

Position B
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bcm1
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . 1 . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . a , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
In the game Black played 'a' with the comment, "Kind of slow, but I felt it helped my group." I think that something like :b1: is much better. Black should consider the marked stone as kikashi and not reinforce here. White's group in the lower left is too strong. Adding a stone nearby will not be interesting. What can we call Black's resulting shape in the game: a shovel, a scow? "Make a barge-like shape!", doesn't have the ring of a great proverb to my ear. :)

Position C (refer to your position 1)
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bcm1
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . 1 . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . B . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . a , . . . . . , . . . . . , b . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . O O O O X O . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . X X O X . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
In the game with the marked stone on 'a', you played 'b'. In your analysis you looked only at alternatives on the right side. How about pincers at the top? White's only weak stone is in the upper right while none of Black's stones are weak. Why leave White time to fix things up? Notice how much more natural :b1: might seem with the marked stone instead of 'a'.

Position D (in your variation)
Click Here To Show Diagram Code
[go]$$Bcm1
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . O . . . . . . . O . . . . . |
$$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . 7 5 X . . |
$$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . 8 6 4 . . . |
$$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . O . . . O O . . . . . . 1 . a . . . |
$$ | . X O O O O . O . , . . O B b 3 . . . |
$$ | . X X X O X O O X . . . 9 O 2 X . . . |
$$ | . . . . X X X O . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
In the game file you gave the marked stone as an alternative to 'a'. I like it much better. After all, you already used it on the left side to make White over concentrated there! However, I prefer :b1: to your 'b'. If White rushes to erase the right side, her three stones will probably come under attack after Black uses the cut at :b9: to strengthen the corner shape. What do you think?

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 8:23 am
by skydyr
A few thoughts on the early game:

:b11: I don't like this line. It does give you more territory, but it also ruins your bottom-side prospects if white gets H4 as he does later. If black had a solid group here, a corner enclosure in the bottom right would work well with it.

:b19: I prefer the variation where black takes H4. White's moyo isn't much of a muchness, and white owes a move in the upper right. Black could do something on the top side or just make a corner enclosure that works with both sides.

:b27: I wonder if it's too slow. You already got a submissive response out of white with the attachment, and white's attachment helped your group too. White also played the territorial move at F17 rather than the more aggressive F16.

:b29: I prefer a corner enclosure too, because the other two moves have an iffy relationship with the bottom right, and white's topside stone is still weak. R12 isn't a big threat without backup.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 9:27 am
by Bill Spight
:b19: What were you thinking? I know, you gave some variations. But really, what were you thinking!

If that doesn't make sense to you, consider :b17:. :)

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 9:40 am
by Kirby
Bill Spight wrote::b19: What were you thinking? I know, you gave some variations. But really, what were you thinking!
I was thinking that the left was bigger than the bottom.

I lived on the bottom, and white's influence didn't seem that useful. White got ponnuki by capturing my stone, but in the game, I got to tenuki twice.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:48 am
by Bill Spight
Kirby wrote:
Bill Spight wrote::b19: What were you thinking? I know, you gave some variations. But really, what were you thinking!
I was thinking that the left was bigger than the bottom.

I lived on the bottom, and white's influence didn't seem that useful. White got ponnuki by capturing my stone, but in the game, I got to tenuki twice.
If the left was bigger than the bottom, why approach the bottom left corner from the bottom side? Why not play a wedge on the left side, for instance?

Also, if you are concerned about the left side, why not play :b11: at D-03 instead of C-03?

And why not play :b17: at G-03 instead of G-02?

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Oct 21, 2015 12:04 pm
by Kirby
Bill Spight wrote: If the left was bigger than the bottom, why approach the bottom left corner from the bottom side? Why not play a wedge on the left side, for instance?
Well, I got the bottom, and also a position on the left - so I got both.

I took a bit of a hit on the bottom by not extending and letting white atari the stone, but it seemed less big to me after living. After that, white can't make a big position on either the left or the bottom.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2016 11:45 pm
by Kirby
I thought I'd use my study journal as an outlet to let out some thoughts.

This isn't about a game I played or a review, so I'll just ramble from within the hide tags, mostly for myself - I dunno, I guess I seem to get some pleasure from airing my feelings publicly.
I've been taking a break from studying Go seriously for awhile now - probably over a month. I'm still a part of the AYD, which means at least one game a week, but even that was on break for the month of December.

I played a game on Tuesday. I believe that I was ahead, but I lost by a fluke near the late middle game where I let him cut off my group in the center and died (I got cut off at move 164).

You can judge for yourself about the result:



I played for a little bit more after move 164, but emotionally, I had lost it and given up. I resigned a little while later.
After the game, I reflected on my feelings. I felt... Disappointed that I lost. But not really that bad. Maybe it's partially because I felt I had a chance to win. But mostly, I think I didn't feel that bad, because I haven't been investing much into studying Go.

No investment ==> No worries when I lose - at least not worries that last. On the other hand, if I invest a lot into winning, spend my free time during and after work studying Go, then lose due to a blunder like this... Well, I know that the feeling is much stronger. It's not pleasant. When I invest a lot into studying, there's some expectation that I should receive some benefit - I should be recognized for it. It should result in me winning.

Thinking from another angle, there's the idea of happiness. When am I happy? I suppose that I'd describe my happiness as:
Result > Expectation ==> Happiness

Seems reasonable - if I end up getting more than I expect, then I have a good feeling - happiness, I suppose. On the other hand:

Result < Expectation ==> Sadness

That is to say, if I had expectations of some result and don't end up achieving it, then it's not such a good feeling. I feel sad. Or at least disappointed.
So from this perspective, it stands to reason that my happiness in Go can be increased in one of two ways:
1.) Increase result (win more?)
2.) Decrease expectation (decrease expectation of winning?)

I suppose I could also try to do both: win more without expecting it.

Seems simple when put this way, but it's also somewhat tricky. If my intention is to win more, it would seem reasonable that I should perform some action in order to achieve this (e.g. study go problems, etc.). But if I am going to invest my time into some action in order to achieve something - well, it's difficult not to have an expectation of achieving it.

Maybe that sounds too complicated.

I guess what I'm saying is this: If I invest my time in an effort to become better, my expectation to become better also increases.

What is the solution, then?

So I see only two options:
1. Improve study efficiency
2. Decrease expectation - or at least hold it constant. I.e. Don't expect to improve.
I mentioned some of these ideas to someone I know from the Go Center. He told me that kyu players often told him that they studied and hit a wall - they could not improve.

To them, and to me, he had a simple question: "Are you really trying?"

I've been thinking about his question a lot. And honestly... Maybe I'm not.

The question is, do I want to? And the answer? ... I don't really know. If I "really try", knowing myself, I think that I would have an expectation - a hope, perhaps - that I would see a significant difference between a Kirby that "really tries" and the Kirby that is "meh".

I suppose... Following the reasoning I mentioned earlier... I feel that "really trying" will likely end up in high expectation with less-than-expected result. In other words, it would result in my sadness.
---
So is that the conclusion? That trying will simply end up making me sad? I see how I got to that point, but it certainly doesn't sound right.

I try to compare to other areas of life. I've been pretty consistent with physical exercise, lately. Has that made me sad?
Thinking honestly about it, I can't say it has. I even have a weight goal that I haven't yet met.

So in some sense, the result of my exercise does not match my expectation. From before, I should be sad, right?

But I'm not sad... Why is that?

Brainstorming off of the top of my head, I can think of a couple of reasons:
1. Exercising naturally makes me feel good, even if I haven't met my expectations of losing weight.
2. I still believe that diet and exercise have a direct impact on my weight, and that my actions have meaning.

I guess that's all I can really think of.

Can I apply that to Go?
1. Does studying Go naturally make me feel good? Not really. I mean, when I solve a difficult problem, that feels great. But it doesn't feel good when I get stuck. So I suppose it "kind of" makes me feel good...?

2. Do I believe that studying Go has a direct impact on my Go strength? It probably does, I guess. Maybe I haven't been believing that in my heart. But it should be true.
Conclusion
So I suppose the conclusion I've come to is this: I have not been "happy" in Go because of two reasons:
1. I haven't felt intrinsically good about studying.
2. I've lost faith that study will result in improving my strength.

So where do I go from here?

I suppose I should start trying to find some sort of intrinsic happiness in studying Go - just to study, without expectations of any sort of result...

Dunno where to start with that, though. I guess it'll have to be gradual. Maybe I'll casually watch some BadukTV.

Re: Kirby's Study Journal

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:47 am
by wineandgolover
Hi Brian,

As you know, improvement once you are dan is much harder, with thick walls, and it can be frustrating. If I were you, I wouldn't give up on improving, because I still think that is a reasonable and achievable goal, for you especially. But it might be worth finding another way to appreciate the game at the same time.

I like the idea of trying something different, which is one of the reasons I started making videos. Before making a video, I have to really understand my blunder, and be able to play through all the variations from memory. This is a far more comprehensive approach to understanding my mistakes than I've taken before.

Will it help? Not the way I'm doing it now, because I'm hardly playing go at all. (I will try to fix that when I get back from Thailand.)

Is it fun for me? Yes, it's kind of a new way for me to appreciate go. Plus, I feel like I'm giving something back to the community. And I get some nice feedback which always feels good.

I imagine that there are many ways to enjoy go, without improvement being the only goal. I see the appeal of studying pro games as one approach. Another is perhaps using your web-skills to build a utility that would be useful to go players around the world. I am sure there are many suitable second purposes (in addition to improvement) that will help your appreciation of this great game.

Finally, I am confident you have a few more stones improvement in you. They'll come naturally if you don't stress too much.

Good luck!
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