Played a game for the AYD today. I got in a tough situation early on, but then made some success on top. I felt good about the game, but then: 1.) Failed to play the move to kill my opponent, due to oversight. 2.) Still seemed ahead, but failed to answer my opponent's threat and simply connect my group on the bottom during the endgame. He disconnected and killed it.
#2 seems to be a trend for me - that happened a little while ago when I played against that 2d on KGS. Seems that I like to ignore my opponent's threats in the endgame, even when they can kill me. Guess I should be more careful.
What helped me in developing more "passion" for my actual job is to realize how good I am at it and how special my seemingly trivial gifts apparently are.
Thanks for your comment. It's a good point. It's true that it's easier to feel passionate about something or good about it when you have a bit of self-confidence in your skill. I have been trying to think this at work a bit (though, I'm a little distracted, because tomorrow is an important doctor's visit).
On the other end of the spectrum, if you are overconfident, it's easy to make mistakes - maybe like the one I did in the game I just posted near the endgame ("You can't cut and kill me - I'm invincible!!!11!").
I suppose, as with many things I'm finding, this too requires some sort of balance...
I spend my life trying to learn how to optimize things while in school, and then I go into real life and find out that I need balance. :-p
Maybe I just don't want others to pursue more "serious" pursuits because then I will be forced to examine more closely if I really believe these things to be worthy of the time I spend on them.
Thanks for your comment, globulon. I think you make a good point. I'm reminded of something I believe HKA said a long time ago. It was something along the lines of, "I can enjoy go because it's so unrelated to my day job". I'm probably misquoting him, so I apologize to him if I am. But this is the gist of what I remember him saying. What I took away from it was that there is something about the "meaningless" nature of go that makes it appealing. If it's required and of real importance in real life, maybe it's less enjoyable?
You'll have to decide for yourself whether go is good for you and your family. But whatever you do, make sure that you carve out time for rest and community. I think you'll find that the quality of your work and family life will decline without them.
I think it is a good thing. Arguing on the forum... maybe not so much. But definitely, go is an interesting pursuit, and I think I'll continue it.
I've come to a new conclusion after reflecting on some of the comments here. While it may be "logical" to turn programming into my passion, I feel more comfortable emotionally with the following plan:
* While at work, do my job; do it well. It doesn't have to be a passion, but do my best.
* Have more confidence in my programming ability. I am a professional programmer, and I am skilled.
* Outside of my work responsibilities, being passionate about go is fine.
I think this is a fair balance, and I feel comfortable about it emotionally.
Another loss. I knew my opponent - I met him at the US Go Congress in New York in 2014.
I didn't review it in depth, but a 3d was watching and was kind enough to go over a few things.
The general comment he had to both of us was that we both need to learn when to dial it down. We both kept going for maximum local profit, and ignore the global situation. This is a common problem I have. I don't know how to compromise. Inseong has brought it up repeatedly in all of my recent reviews, but I don't have the mental power to stop it in the situation.
Compromise feels like losing to me. So I refuse to compromise, even when things don't work. This results in instability. I beat opponents when things happen to work. And I lose when they don't.
I'm reminded of Kageyama's talk about that guy that was so aggressive, and then he showed him a ladder that didn't work. He asked if he'd play out the ladder. "No," he replied. "Why not?" "Because it doesn't work."
That's the habit I'm in, but it's very difficult to break out of. I don't know how to win a game by compromise
In a recent discussion, I brought up the fact that I never could make my way through Train Like a Pro: Volume 2. I will make an attempt to do one section every day, starting tomorrow, and log it here for accountability.
I hope not to miss a day. I will start tomorrow.
No idea if that book will teach me how to compromise.
I've used this study journal over the past few years as a way to record my go games, review them, discuss go related topics, philosophize (somehow, I'm surprised that this is actually a word!), and sometimes simply to keep a journal of what's going on in my life.
For awhile now, I haven't made many posts. I haven't played a lot of go, other than the AYD - I'm still a member. I didn't elaborate on the reasons for this because they seemed personal, and not appropriate for a go forum.
But on the other hand, I'm a little drunk right now, with nobody else to talk to, and in some ways, posting here is a form of catharsis... So I kind of want to write something here just to ease my mind, but since it's not really go related, and somewhat personal, I'll put it in hide tags, so that those interested only in go-related conversation can opt out.
Those that have been here awhile may recall a post I made back on September 29, 2013: viewtopic.php?p=149229#p149229. It was a few days after my second son was born. His birthday was a few days earlier, September 25th, 2013. He just turned 3 last September. If I'm honest with everyone here, my wife and I were hoping for a girl for our second child. Our older son is a boy, so why not mix things up a bit? But as luck may have it, we had a boy.
As time progressed, however, I became very grateful for my second son. While both of my children are boys, they are very different. And in many ways, it's my second son that resembles me the most, both in behavior and in appearance. That doesn't really matter, I guess, but I would say that I have a special relationship with my younger son that's different than what I have with my first son. Even though they are both sons, they are both very important to me.
I'm a software engineer at Microsoft. Many of my coworkers have children, but for a long time, I've felt of myself as more of a "family person" than my coworkers. My job is important to me, but the time I have to spend with my kids is really precious. I didn't want to have kids, in fact, before having them. But once I did, they became the most important people in my life. Both my older and younger son. They're really special - even if they're pretty young (4 years old and 3 years old, respectively).
Sometime in June of 2016, my younger son (2 years old, at the time) was constipated. I was busy at work - fiscal year was almost over, and reviews were coming up. Had to finish up a project I was working on (a hybrid join operator in SQL), and when I heard the news, I wasn't too concerned. Kids get constipated. So I kept going to work, and my wife and my two sons went to the doctor. Yep, doctor said it was constipation, gave some sort of medicine. We moved on. I was still stressed at work.
About a week later, I was giving a bath to my kids, and I noticed a mark on my younger son's lower back. It looked weird. And he was still constipated. I told my wife, and she took them into the doctor again. Still constipation, said the doctor. I wasn't totally satisfied with that answer, so I took a picture and sent it into their office. No response, so we scheduled another appointment. My wife went in again, I kept going to work. Again, the doctor mentioned constipation. I was a little annoyed, so we scheduled a 4th appointment for later that week. I went with my wife and kids this time.
Again, the doctor (a different one this time), was talking about constipation. Finally, I told her to just look at the mark on my son's back. By this time, it was about the size of a softball. At that point, the doctor changed her tone: we needed to go to the emergency room.
So I sent a quick email to work, then went to the emergency room with my family. I felt some peace knowing that we'd finally get this thing taken care of. Obviously, something other than constipation was going on. Finally, the doctors could fix the problem...
But we were in the emergency room for a long time. Several doctors came in and out. Many were surprised at the size of the mark on my son's back. My little, two year old baby's back. The back of one of my best friends... A doctor came up to me, and told me that he was concerned that the mark on my son's back was a mass. Okay, I said. A mass. What does that mean?
After several hours, the doctors had an answer for my family: my two year old friend, son, and baby had cancer. A stage 4 germ cell tumor, originating in his pelvis, and spreading throughout his lungs. I learned that around June 30th of this year.
Naturally, I was devastated. This baby - this friend of mine - this funny, young kid, who had just started talking earlier in the year - had cancer. His life was on the line.
Sometime later, I recall being in a room with one of the department oncologist heads, along with a few other doctors. He seemed calm, unconcerned, and unworried. He explained about the cancer, and told me that it was quite curable. There's a 4-round chemotherapy treatment that kids go through (BEP chemotherapy, same as for testicular cancer, which is basically the same type), and after that, about 80%~90% of kids are cured. After kids get to remission, there's about a 25% chance it will come back at some time, and there are even things you can do at that stage, he told me.
Still stressful. But some relief.
The months of July, August, and September consisted of these 4 rounds of chemotherapy. It's the reason I skipped out on the US Go Congress this year. A "round" means staying in the hospital getting pretty strong medicines for 5 days. Chemotherapy has the side effect of killing your immune system, so for a couple of weeks after those 5 days of medicine, your immune system goes to zero, and you have high risk of infection.
Over the course of those 3 months, we had several ups and downs. After the first round, my son caught some sort of infection, we had to go to the ER, and they gave him antibiotics. His second round of chemotherapy was delayed. Since his tumor was so large, for the first half of that time, he had a catheter for urination. Couldn't really walk.
It was a very depressing time.
As time went on, however, things started looking up. The tumor was shrinking. He could urinate on his own, they took the catheter back. He started playing like a healthy boy again. I started to be encouraged.
Furthermore, there is a tumor marker - a protein emit by the tumor called "AFP". As chemotherapy went on, it was encouraging to see the significant decrease in this number. A normal value is below 12 ng/mL for his age. At the start of his diagnosis, he was at 156,000. It kept going down 23,400 --> 540 --> 45 --> 23 --> down to 8!
After hitting a normal level, the tumor was small enough in his pelvis to remove. The marks on his lungs were still visible in a CT scan, but were much smaller. Since his AFP was a normal level (8 < 12), doctors recommended that we stop chemotherapy.
It was a very happy time. We had made it... Until the next week. His AFP rose to 13. Then to 76. Then to 764... Then to 1040. The cancer was "back". Or maybe it was never really gone.
I should tell you that the thing about cancer is that you realize how powerless you are in the situation. How could I help my son? My mind has asked this question repeatedly over the last several months. The best I could do was to read up on research papers related to this type of cancer.
I found similar conclusions that the doctors had told me. There's about an 80%~90% chance of survival, even if it's stage 4 cancer... But... That rate drops significantly in the event that the cancer comes back. If the first four rounds of chemotherapy don't work, it's not good news. Maybe like 50% odds.
So anyway, doctors came up with a new plan to save my son. "Salvage" chemotherapy as some might call it. Since the first 4 rounds were not completely effective, they decided on two more rounds of a different combination of medicines. And after that, two rounds of "intense" chemotherapy, which is much stronger.
In order to accommodate "intense" chemotherapy, we need to collect my son's stem cells. I give injections of a medicine every day to boost his stem cell growth, doctors would do another surgery to implant a device to extract the cells.
So after "round 5" using the new medicines, I did this every day. We monitored his numbers. But they didn't get high enough to extract cells.
Doctors abandoned that plan, and decided to change the medicine combination again with "round 6". Starting this Thursday, I'll be doing injections again, and we'll see if we can get his stem cells. In an effort to do "intense" chemotherapy afterwards to "really" get rid of the cancer.
After 5 rounds, his AFP is 681. A long way to go from the normal level of 12 or lower. And it's unclear whether we'll actually be able to collect stem cells after this round of chemotherapy.
As an added bonus, the chemotherapy so far has resulted in some loss of hearing, and some loss of liver function for my son... A small price to pay, I guess, if he can live in the end...
So this week has been a hospital week. Finishing up "round 6" of chemotherapy. I don't know if we'll get to a good result. I've started to come to terms with the fact that my son might die.
One of my best friends, an innocent companion, and a guy that looks up to me, who I love... He might die soon.
There's still hope that he won't, of course.
But the permanent state of going back and forth - will he die? Will he make it? Will his AFP go up? Will it go down? Will the cancer go away? Will the chemotherapy kill him?
It's difficult to keep thinking about.
I hope the best for my son. I hope he makes it. There's a chance that he will, and also a chance that he won't. Sometimes going to work makes me feel better, since I don't think about it as much. Sometimes go has the same effect.
Today, I drank a little bit, and felt like sharing my story. I hope you don't mind.
But I put it in hide tags, anyway, so reading is optional!
I guess writing my feelings has helped a little bit. Everyone else in my family is asleep right now, so I felt like I wanted someone to talk to.
Posts: 8859 Location: Santa Barbara, CA Liked others: 349 Was liked: 2076
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Hi Kirby. It was nice you made it to Cotsen. And the nice little chat in front of the tasty food truck. And the brief game review. ( Please also see PM. )
_______________ For others. If you'd like to reply to Kirby, you may find this helpful:
Posts: 202 Location: Santiago, Chile Liked others: 39 Was liked: 44
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Universal go server handle: Jhyn
Hi Kirby,
I am not sure I have in me the words to bring you any kind of comfort as I have never lived through anything that can compare. For the little that I know you I am sure that you did and are doing the most that you can for your son. The intensity of the feeling of powerlessness is almost tangible in your words. I want to urge you not to stop, because there is no rejecting the events that are dealt to us, but your kindness, your energy, simply doing all that you can will go a long way for your son, for you and for your family.
_________________ La victoire est un hasard, la défaite une nécessité.
Posts: 2414 Location: Tokyo, Japan Liked others: 2350 Was liked: 1332
Rank: Jp 6 dan
KGS: ez4u
Brian,
We are with you and your family. Never doubt that when you need a 'person' to talk to!
_________________ Dave Sigaty "Short-lived are both the praiser and the praised, and rememberer and the remembered..." - Marcus Aurelius; Meditations, VIII 21
Last edited by ez4u on Wed Dec 07, 2016 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
A little while ago in another thread, EdLee asked me a bit about my study habits, and I was sad to say that I'm not really studying anything these days.
I decided that it might be time to change that up... But after such a long hiatus, where should I start? I set about my usual tactic of listing subject areas that I wanted to study, prioritizing them, and then identifying a way to align those items with my schedule. But a meeting I had at work made me second guess my approach.
Perhaps I should give a little bit of background. Recently, our team created a list of items that we plan to work on in the near future, and we presented it to my second-level manager. For each item that we identified, we selected a headline - something that indicated the purpose behind the task (why work on items that have no value)? One piece of feedback that we received from my second-level manager was that our headlines all pointed to good purposes - but they were not concretely tied to real tangible benefit (e.g. customer X benefits specifically in this way). I felt he had a point...
Fast forward a couple of days where I'm planning out a schedule of things to study, prioritizing them by importance. I looked at the list, and remembered what my second-level manager said - and came to ask myself for each item on the list, "practically speaking, what tangible benefit can I expect to receive from this investment in my time?". So for each of those items, I listed things that I could reasonably expect to receive from investing my time in those areas. I then prioritized this list, and tried to identify if my study areas were the most efficient way to reach those goals.
Needless to say, studying go made "the cut". I won't detail what my personal expected benefits are, but part of my time is worth studying go, and posting here. However, in this study, I try to keep in mind the goals that I have from that exercise (which are not simply to "get stronger"), and I base my study time on this. This splits my study into several categories.
Anyway, the bottom line is that today's activity was to review, memorize, and analyze a professional game. In my allotted time for review and analysis, I only memorized up to move 133 so far. Since I was kind of memorizing and exploring as I went along, I branched a few times from the main line. But anyway, here it is:
I'd still like to continue with this game, but I'll do so the next time I have time allotted for studying pro games. I have to stay organized with this to maintain willpower.
In my usual fashion, here are a few "areas of interest" that I found from my personal study, before looking at any sort of commentary:
Black's move is simple, but it's not one that I think I would play in a game. I am very set on the idea of pincering, to help the black formation in the top right.
I like this kind of move because it seems consistent with the formation on top. My guess as to why black plays as he does in the game is because the corner territory is worth enough to make the move worthwhile.
However, I think I understand the intention... Maybe. If white plays as I would have, then black can get this move in, which pressures a response. White might want to respond, or else suffer a little bit from black's invasion at 'A' (though it's kind of a joseki, I think):
White's intention, I think, with the move he played, is to get a high position of influence, and take sente - even if black checks on the right side, white isn't looking for territory on the right side, so it's OK!
This somewhat matches with how the game proceeded, so I'm thinking that explnation might be acceptable to me for now.
I suppose that white has more of a base in this variation, so black's move in the game was more severe, I think. Also, black gets some nice territory while hitting white's vital point.
White's move here surprised me, but maybe it's necessary to get out. I really feel reluctant to play the move since black's response at 'a' gives black very nice shape.
Seeing that white played it, though, I can imagine that the value white gets from strengthening the weak group is greater than the value black gets from getting good shape. It's not like black is weak in the area anyway. So maybe it's not a big deal.
Nonetheless, I feel some pain in playing this move as white.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . O O X X . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . O B O X . . X . X X . O O X . | $$ | . . . O . B O . . O X X O O O , X . X | $$ | . . . . . B O . . . X O . . . O O X . | $$ | . . O . . B O . . . X O O O X X O O . | $$ | . . . . . B O . O . . X X O O O X X . | $$ | . . W . . B B O . . . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . O X . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . O . . . O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . . | $$ | . X . O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . | $$ | . . O . . O . . . . . . . X . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I really don't get why this white move is big. My biggest guess is that it makes the black group a bit weaker, so it's harder for black to pressure white that strongly.
If it were my game, I'd strongly consider this move:
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . O O X X . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . O X O X . . X . X X . O O X . | $$ | . . . O . X O . . O X X O O O , X . X | $$ | . . . . . X O . . . X O . . . O O X . | $$ | . . O . . X O . . . X O O O X X O O . | $$ | . . . . . X O . O X W X X O O O X X . | $$ | . . O . . X X O . X O . . X X X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . O a . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . , . . X X O O O O O . . O X . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . X X X X . . . . O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . O . . . O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . . | $$ | . X . O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . | $$ | . . O . . O . . . . . . . X . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I think this move is awesome. Clearly, the intent is to get sente, since black cannot play 'a' immediately. I would never consider it, though, since it seems to throw two stones away for nothing.
Really cool move.
---
So that's that. Those are the positions I've found to be surprising or interesting so far. I'll continue study on this game next time, but my next scheduled pro game study isn't for a little while (I think I have some game playing and other study before then).
Long time no see... Per my plan for this week, I visit L19 once in the week, primarily to post reviews of the games I've played and/or gone over.
Today, I will review 3 games: 1.) The first AYD game of this season, which I played on Tuesday. 2.) A simultaneous teaching game I played against Inseong. 3.) A game I played on KGS on Thursday.
I'll post each in a separate post, because the text is above the post limit.
So without further ado, let's get started.
Game 1: Brian vs. KimchiGo I played a game on Tuesday against a new member of the AYD. I was intimidated prior to playing the game, because his initial rank was listed as 6d (this was his first game in the AYD). I shouldn't have been intimidated, and I think I could have had a reasonable position. Anyway, I made a big mistake, and the game ended quickly.
I was unfamiliar with the joseki above. The reason I played this way was because I suspected that his intention was to gain influence from the 5-3 point. I decided to prevent this by giving him corner territory and gainin influence myself.
The problem was, I didn't follow up properly.
Inseong explained that it's common for black to continue first:
The reason is pretty simple: if black defends at 'a', white can nicely wall off the area with 'b'. If black blocks with 'c', white can move out at 'a' and later expect to be able to play a powerful move at 'd'.
Compared to the, joseki, white can get a nicer shape on the outside, which results in a more powerful wall.
I considered a pincer around 'a'. I felt uncomfortable with this for two reasons: 1.) Black can still enter the open area around 'b', which means that white cannot make that big of territory on the right side at this point. 2.) A play around 'c' becomes big, especially if black gets to double approach. The bottom would be pretty big for black.
Because I felt black could profit more on bottom than I could profit by pincering, I decided to defend the bottom.
I could play in a simple way like this and take sente. A move around 'a' is still big, and approaching the top left isn't small either. It seemed that this type of move made the marked wall less valuable.
However, in retrospect, since the wall cannot create a lot of territory anyway, perhaps taking the 3-3 is better - I get sente, too. I'm starting to prefer this option, even though I didn't play it in the game.
Hence, I played the way I did in the game to approach, while simultaneously creating a ladder breaker.
In retrospect, I prefer the first option that I've listed in these hide tags - simply taking the 3-3 seems effective, doesn't lose too much, and lets me keep sente. It seems better than doing something complicated like attaching, where the outcome was somewhat unclear.
This move was a mistake, I think. The reason was simple: I wanted to probe black's response. If black responded at 'a', I could move up at 'b' and make a nice connection with the awkward wall of stones I had. Conversely, if black first played 'b', I could play the 3-3. Because of the exchange of the marked stone and black 'b', I felt that I could live easily on the top, thereby getting both the top and the 3-3 point.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X . X . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O X W X O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | . . . X . X . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . . . X . . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . . O , X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . . . O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Inseong seemed to think that this was alright, given the situation, but nonetheless, it seems to have somewhat of a desperate feel to it. A big fear, which I actually had in the game while my opponent was thinking, is if black simply ignores the ko for now, and leaves it as my burden. I'll have to keep worrying about it. Doesn't seem good.
I think the situation is already somewhat difficult due to the thickness I gave black from invading the 3-3 - so probably, things are already difficult. I can't see a great way to make a better result after invading the 3-3.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | X O X . . . . X O . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X W . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X , . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X . X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
The game is alreay difficult for me now, but the bottom left is bigger than the area where I threat up here. The game ends shortly after.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O X X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O X O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | X O X . . . . X O . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X . . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . W . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X . . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X O , X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . . . O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Really bad move.
The last two moves are kind of reading-related mistakes. Hopefully go problems and more practice playing these games will improve this.
CrazyStone Analysis
For fun, I ran the first game, which I lost, through CrazyStone.
The software points out alternative moves, which it thinks would result in a better winning probability. Here are some of the bigger alternative moves: Delta 1
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | X O X . . . . X O . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O O . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X , X . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . W . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X X X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
This move seemed pretty natural to me, though, I felt I was losing. CrazyStone prefers this move:
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | X O X . . . . X O . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O O . . . . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . X , X . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . W O X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X X X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
I suppose that CrazyStone thinks there's a better chance that white will live with this shape. Seems like a reasonable option, but it wasn't in my intuition.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X O . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O X . | $$ | X O X . . O X X O . . . . . . . . O O | $$ | . X O O . O . . X O . . . . . . . X . | $$ | . X . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . O X , X . O . X , . . . O . , O . . | $$ | . X X X . X . . . . . . . . . X X W . | $$ | . O X O . O X . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . O X . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . O X . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X O . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X X X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . W . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X O . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O X . | $$ | X O X . . O X X O . . . . . . . . O O | $$ | . X O O . O . . X O . . . . . . . X . | $$ | . X . . . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . O X , X . O . X , . . . O . , O . . | $$ | . X X X . X . . . . . . . . . X X . . | $$ | . O X O . O X . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . O X . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . O X . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X O . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X X X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . X X O . . O . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O X O . O . O O O O . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X X O O O O O X X X . X . . . . | $$ | O . O X . X W . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . O X . . X O X O . X . . O O O O . . | $$ | X O X . . O X X O . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O O . O . . X . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . O X , X . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . O X O . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . | $$ | . O X O . X . . . . . . . . . . X X . | $$ | . X X X X . . X . , . . . . . O . X . | $$ | . O X O X . O X . . O . . O . O X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Interestingly, CrazyStone thinks that white was winning the game until around this point, where CrazyStone felt the game was about even. I disagree. I feel about 15 points behind.
I played a simultaneous game against Inseong. I think it was pretty early in the morning in his time zone, and he was playing 3 other people. Anyway, here's the record:
My rationale here was, white seemed somewhat solid on the left. So I shouldn't approach too close. Inseong pointed out that there can still be benefits of playing close later:
The marked stone is in a better spot compared to where I played in the game.
Sounds like a reasonable benefit to me, but I don't mind the move I played, either, because it's somewhat solid and keeps things simple when his group is somewhat strong. The drawback is that I can less easily move out the stone as he explained.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | 4 X O O X . . . . . . . . O X . . . . | $$ | . B X O 1 . O . . . . O . X X . X X . | $$ | O O X O 3 . . . . , . . . O . X . O . | $$ | . X O X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . O O . . . . . . . . . . . O . O . . | $$ | . . O X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X . X O . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , O . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . | $$ | . . X O . . . . O . . . . . X . . . . | $$ | . X . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
This was sente, and I do recall distinctly imagining this possibility when I played the marked black stone. But my mind was set on thinking of these as ko threats. I didn't realize how good it was, especially since it's sente.
This move is a bit aggressive, and resulted in giving me a weird shape. For example, white didn't play that way in the game, but it's not 100% comfortable for me if he plays this:
Since the shape gets so weird and awkward, I don't like pressing like this. I think I should just go easy on white now, and make better shape, since I can't effectively surround him right now anyway:
I can see how white responds, and then adjust. It might allow for me to connect with my awkward stones. Or it might give me benefit in pressuring his invading stone on the right.
In retrospect, though, maybe it's too soon to tenuki from my awkward-shaped group. That's probably the fundamental problem.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . . , X . . | $$ | . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . B O . O | $$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . . . . . X . . . . . . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . . . . . X . O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . . . . . X . O . X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . . , . X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . . . . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O . . . . O X . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Here's the thing... I really want to enclose the top right corner and just get some more points. But it just seems too painful for white to press here:
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . 1 , X . . | $$ | . X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . 4 . . O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 2 O . O | $$ | . . O , . . . . . , . . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . . . . . X . . . . . . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . . . . . X . O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . . . . . X . O . X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . . , . X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . . . . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O . . . . O X . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
Maybe it's OK, though. I really don't know.
I'll actually stop the review early for this game. I felt pretty comfortable from here onward. Feel free to point out areas where I made mistakes later in the game, if you'd like.
---
The CrazyStone move alternatives are listed here, though.
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . X X X X O X X O . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X O O O O O X O O . O O . . | $$ | . . . O . X X O X O . . X O O X X . . | $$ | . X O . . X X X X O . X X X X . . . . | $$ | . X X O O O X X O O . . O . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X O O O O X . O . O O O X . . . | $$ | . . O X O . X X . . . O . X X O O O . | $$ | . . . X O . . . O O O X . . . X O . O | $$ | . . O , O . . . . X X . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . X X O . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . W X O X . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . O . . X X . . X . X . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . X O O O X X O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . O . X O . O O X X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . X , X X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . O O . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O X X . . O X O . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
CrazyStone didn't like this move, and thought white had better chances here:
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . X X X X O X X O . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X O O O O O X O O . O O . . | $$ | . . . O . X X O X O . . X O O X X . . | $$ | . X O . . X X X X O . X X X X . . . . | $$ | . X X O O O X X O O . . O . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X O O O O X . O . O O O X . . . | $$ | . . O X O . X X . . . O . X X O O O . | $$ | . . . X O . . . O O O X . . . X O . O | $$ | . . O , O . . . . X X . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . X X O . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . . X O X . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . O W . X X . . X . X . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . X O O O X X O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . O . X O . O O X X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . X , X X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . O O . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O X X . . O X O . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . X X X X O X X O . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X O O O O O X O O . O O . . | $$ | . . . O . X X O X O . . X O O X X . . | $$ | . X O . . X X X X O . X X X X . . . . | $$ | . X X O O O X X O O . . O . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X O O O O X . O . O O O X . . . | $$ | . . O X O . X X . . . . . X X O O O . | $$ | . . . X . . . . O O O X . . . X O . O | $$ | . . O , O . . . . X X . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . . . . . X . . . . . . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . . . . O X X O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . . . . O . O O X X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . . , X X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . . . . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O B . . . O X . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
[go]$$B $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . X . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . X X X X O X X O . . . . . | $$ | . . X X . X O O O O O X O O . O O . . | $$ | . . . O . X X O X O . . X O O X X . . | $$ | . X O . . X X X X O . X X X X . . . . | $$ | . X X O O O X X O O . . O . . X . . . | $$ | . . O X O O O O X . O . O O O X . . . | $$ | . . O X O . X X . . . . . X X O O O . | $$ | . . . X . . . . O O O X . . . X O . O | $$ | . . O , O . B . . X X . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O . O | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . . . . . X . . . . . . X O X . . | $$ | . . X . . O . . . . . . O X X O . . . | $$ | . X X X . O X . . . . O . O O X X . . | $$ | X O X O O . X . . , X X O O . , . . . | $$ | . O O X O . . . . X X O X O O . O . . | $$ | O X X X O . O X . . . O X . . . . . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]
It's kind of an interesting idea: Generally, I think of attacking my opponents stones and/or reducing my opponent's territory. I rarely think of making my own territory, or even less, defending my own stones.
Here's an example where defending my own stones might be a reasonable option.
Posts: 24 Liked others: 11 Was liked: 7
Rank: AGA 6d
KGS: odnihs
I think most of your comments about the game were on the right track. I would just focus on making sure you're getting value (whether in terms of territory or influence or potential or whatever) for all of your moves. Of course this is pretty hard and requires strong reading and judgment, but for now as long as you think you are getting value that's good enough (in essence, if you are getting territory/influence and your opponent is playing on dame, it's good for you). Other issues were shape-related, and of course learning how to close up games simply (this is difficult as well--but think about what AlphaGo does) once you have a territorial lead is a valuable skill to learn.
I included a lot of my thoughts and while you should take them with a grain of salt as to correctness, hopefully you can at least get a sense of my thought process.
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