Life In 19x19

So, I have never been to a go congress. I'm also not going this year. The money is no problem - it's something we can afford.

The reason I haven't gone yet is the amount of time that it costs to attend. I have 15 vacation days to spend throughout the year, but typically that's time that I spend with my wife. Taking a third of that time away seems like a lot to ask of her.

Have any of you folks experienced similar concerns? Do you bring your significant other with you to go congress? Do you just take a break for a week?

have never been to a congress and don't have a signifcant other
But it's a good idea to bring the family to the congress if the venue is also a good place for holiday.

This year I'm lucky enough to commute to Congress but my wife and I had thought about getting a hotel room for a night. In her case she would love to hit some of the shops in the area, especially down in Manitou Springs, have a nice dinner and relax. If I ever get the chance to go to an away Congress then yes we would most likely go (no pun intended) together.

Yes, I have these problems for any congress style tournaments - with young children as well they become virtually impossible for the time being. When the kids are older, I'll probably do a number of European ones and treat it as a holiday where we spend the evenings together instead of me playing Go all the time, but I have to wait a while for that

Family is the only reason only ever attended one congress. Money was never an issue (although I did not like spending that much on it) but taking off a whole week and leaving my wife behind looking after the home, child and pets all by herself seems like a very selfish option. Even dragging her along and expecting her to take care of everyone while I played go was also not a very attractive option.

So I just never went except for one time and that was kind of special. It was the 1990 Congress and I was living in Denver at the time the venue was set but moved soon after. I had originally planned to be one of the organizers so I went back to meet old friends. In fact, that was the last major tournament I played in and also the last time I saw many of my go-playing friends, even though I still play against some of them regularly on DGS.

Yeah, that's what stopped me even though Colorado Springs is only
2.5 hours away. Even if the congress were someplace more exotic,
I don't think me hanging out and playing go while my wife entertains
herself would fly for a second. Any vacation time really needs to
be spent together.

I must have a very different concept of having a significant other. In my relationship, we both go off at times to do our own thing, and we both go off at times to do something together. I've never been to a Go Congress, although my wife has certainly encouraged me to go, just as I encourage her to go to events that interest her. There is, in my opinion, no conflict between being with a partner and doing something entirely on one's own. And we always find time for being together, both at home or away. (In fact, we're heading out for a couple days in the mountains in just a little while!)

Like some others Americans, I am lucky if I can get two weeks off a year. My family will most likely settle into a routine where if the congress is in the West, I will attend alone. If it's in the East, we'll plan a family vacation instead. I am hoping that averages out to about half the time for each.

My previous job had a few weeks of business travel each year - so, the week I'm away isn't anything we're not used to. Except when I'm away at the Go Congress, I come home happy. (Instead of just burnt out like business travel can sometimes do).

GoCat wrote:I must have a very different concept of having a significant other. In my relationship, we both go off at times to do our own thing, and we both go off at times to do something together. I've never been to a Go Congress, although my wife has certainly encouraged me to go, just as I encourage her to go to events that interest her. There is, in my opinion, no conflict between being with a partner and doing something entirely on one's own. And we always find time for being together, both at home or away. (In fact, we're heading out for a couple days in the mountains in just a little while!)

I guess for us, it's just that an entire week is quite a long time!

GoCat wrote:I must have a very different concept of having a significant other. In my relationship, we both go off at times to do our own thing, and we both go off at times to do something together. I've never been to a Go Congress, although my wife has certainly encouraged me to go, just as I encourage her to go to events that interest her. There is, in my opinion, no conflict between being with a partner and doing something entirely on one's own. And we always find time for being together, both at home or away. (In fact, we're heading out for a couple days in the mountains in just a little while!)

The difference is in having a house full of children and pets to look after combined with limited vacation time. Now the children have left and I have much more time it is a different matter, but I no longer have any desire to go to the congress.

Time and family are the reasons for me to skip congresses also. For me to get a vacation on my own, while my wife stays behind and takes care of the kids, isn't fair. I'm hoping that when the kids are older, at least one of them will like playing go enough to go with me. Then it would work out well, but until then, I only go to the congresses that are nearby.

wms wrote:For me to get a vacation on my own, while my wife stays behind and takes care of the kids, isn't fair.

I find it quite fair, because we do this both ways: sometimes I leave, sometimes my wife leaves.

However, I didn't want to sound argumentative -- merely to point out that being in a family/relationship needn't prevent one from doing something special. But as in all things in life, we must weigh the forces that pull us in various directions, and decide on our own best actions. I've been a family member for many years, and I understand what everyone is saying. At this point I only have one easy-going teenager in the house (plus dog and cats) so it's easy for me to talk! (In the past, I've also done things like take my two kids on a road trip for a few days, so the wife gets time off!) And I know vacation time is scarce and valuable, and its uses must be carefully considered!

Kirby wrote:
...Have any of you folks experienced similar concerns? Do you bring your significant other with you to go congress? Do you just take a break for a week?

I took my wife to Portland. She visited the rose gardens an some other stuff while I played. We went to Powells Books and several fine restauarants together in the evenings.
I didn't bring her to DC, but only because she had been there several times already.
I haven't brought her to Colorado Springs. It is a small rural town by LA standards. Very little to do if you don't have a fishing pole or a horse.
I hear rumor that 2012 or 2013 will be Boston. She will definitely want to come.
I hear additional rumor that Atlanta may be one of those years also. We're undecided about that.

Kirby wrote:
... Taking a third of that time away seems like a lot to ask of her...

Come to Congress in Santa Barbara. Bring your wife. She will love Santa Barbara and LA. If she doesn't, she has no taste and you should dump her. ( Best to find out now while you are still young )

Kirby wrote:I guess for us, it's just that an entire week is quite a long time!

I work 2 states away from where I live, so I am only home on weekends. So an entire week away is now normal (for the past 3 years.) All my kids are adult now, I could not have done this when they were at home.

GoCat wrote:

wms wrote:For me to get a vacation on my own, while my wife stays behind and takes care of the kids, isn't fair.

I find it quite fair, because we do this both ways: sometimes I leave, sometimes my wife leaves.

However, I didn't want to sound argumentative -- merely to point out that being in a family/relationship needn't prevent one from doing something special. But as in all things in life, we must weigh the forces that pull us in various directions, and decide on our own best actions. I've been a family member for many years, and I understand what everyone is saying. At this point I only have one easy-going teenager in the house (plus dog and cats) so it's easy for me to talk! (In the past, I've also done things like take my two kids on a road trip for a few days, so the wife gets time off!) And I know vacation time is scarce and valuable, and its uses must be carefully considered!

It's nice that you are able to do these things.

I had originally intended to answer as many others have on here and indicate that wife and son are chief reasons that I do not attend any Go Events, but it isn't because we don't spend time doing our separate things (though we resolved long ago to never spend a single night apart that could be avoided; no, or very few, multi-day events for either of us).

To be fair, I have my allotted time for personal interests and I split that between:

- Soccer
- Go
- Magic: the Gathering
- Bridge
- Poker
- Out with my friends (my wife is not as social as I am; I go out sometimes, she stays home)

That's just the things that I've kept up over the years and intend to continue. I tend to go from month to month with a new fleeting interest. Needless to say, Go is unfortunately something I can only devote so much time to.

One of these days I'll play in a live tournament ... or maybe go to a Go Club. I just don't have the time with all my other endeavors.