Life In 19x19

Okay, I've played Go for around 4-5 months now, and during that span I've tried sporadically to get my girlfriend to play Go as well. It worked once, but then she was discouraged because I defeated her handily. Although, I do admit, I wasn't really trying...And I gave a nine stone handicap. Anyway, my goal is to somehow enable her to see just why this game has captivated me so much. However, my attempts have been in vein, and it seems like I'm making her more disinterested than interested.

So, question of the day: How do I get her interested? (And man, so many puns there, I know.)

1.) Your efforts probably won't work.

2.) If anything, you could suggest she play igowin for awhile.

I think it's a bad idea.

I tried what you are doing right now, and I haven't had a single girlfr ever since. It sucks I know. My girlfr asked me to show her, but it was boring, and I realized that while showing her too! A couple of years later, some girls asked me to teach them out of the blue, and I lightly say sure, but I wouldn't never show them. If they (your girlfr in this case) are interested in the game, she would find out herself already.

Nothing is really universal, go is the same. Even if you think it is captivating, other may not find it captivating, no matter how much you think it is.

Not to discourage you or anything, but from what you described, she just doesn't have the curiosity.

Peace, last post.

Some people will just never get it -- and that's ok.

Could they learn to like it with a different teacher? Maybe, but not always.

I tried teaching each of my three daughters. My oldest almost caught on (and she played pair go with me at the recent Portland Congress), but my youngest caught on the best and maybe is about 18k (she came to the Tacoma Congress with me), but she then quit when she entered her teens.

Neither my middle daughter nor my wife are interested in learning to play.

I guess the universal answer here is no. I know it's never a good idea to force your hobby onto someone else, especially your GF, so I guess I'll probably give up. The only person I have been able to get interested in Go is my friend Brian. And he doesn't play very much. He plays only against me, and is not too good....But he's too competitive with me to let me be his teacher, unfortunately.

I may be only 4 kyu at go, but I'm 7 dan at screwing up relationships. And trying to make my girlfriend play go is the exact kind of thing I'd do.

fwiffo wrote:I may be only 4 kyu at go, but I'm 7 dan at screwing up relationships. And trying to make my girlfriend play go is the exact kind of thing I'd do.

Sorry to hear that. I guess the best choice of having a GF that plays Go is having a GF that's already interested in the game! lol

it's a bad idea maybe. unless you can control the results up to 0.5 point.

kokomi wrote:it's a bad idea maybe. unless you can control the results up to 0.5 point.

I think if I was good enough to do that, I'd be stronger than 15K-16K

This reminds me of the relationship forums where every other guy is trying to get his girlfrind to do a threemumblemumble. The consensus is that women will do what they want when they want, and asking them more than once just breeds resentment and resistance.
You asked once; she is not interested. Quit now and you will both be happier.

I had this big long response all typed out, but I can see Joaz just won the thread.

Sound advice, let her be.

I tried getting my wife into the game around 4 months ago.
turns out shes good at the nuclear tsuji.

but my randomized point is this.

girlfreinds/wives/sisters/mothers will allways ALLWAYS do what they want when they want.
as my wife so perfectly puts it.

you only think you got us into something, but in fact without us it would be nothing.

There are a lot of go playing couples, who never play against each other. There was an interview with Rui Naiwei and Jiang Zhujiu, where they told the same about themselves, Seems to be best practice to study together but not to play each other.

tapir wrote:There are a lot of go playing couples, who never play against each other. There was an interview with Rui Naiwei and Jiang Zhujiu, where they told the same about themselves, Seems to be best practice to study together but not to play each other.

yes, this seems to be true. same applies for example for Choi Cheolhan and Yun Ji Hee (I've heard it from Yun).

hailthorn011: perhaps she would like more to play against roughly even opponent. i am always much happier when i can teach two beginners playing each other, not only playing myself against one.