RobertJasiek wrote:Kirby wrote:if he were turned off from making good posts in the future because of assumption-based criticism.
The purpose of [my] constructive criticism
- is not to turn off good posts
Uhm, Robert, are you aware that Kirby wrote “if
he were turned off”, i.e. he was talking about daal, a person, not about their post, a thing. This is not about things, this is about people.
This may point exactly to what I wrote before. Let’s gain some awareness about what our words can do in others. People can understand us totally wrong because we 1) are are not accurate in our expressions (i.e. often ambiguous) and 2) because we tend to misunderstand wherever we can. And if we do, we most always tend to understand the worst possible meaning. E.g., I always need to remember that the characters I read on my screen are a text from a human expressing themselves, it’s not “just a post”. (And I for one tend to write from the bottom of my heart, and I know it can lead some to think, “what a BS”. Sometimes later I think so myself.)
So, what Kirby is expressing here (my interpretation, certainly) is his fear that daal could somehow feel p!ssed and be turned off from making good posts.
And IMNSHO there is no necessity to justify your post by declaring what the purpose of your criticism was
NOT. I believe, and I suppose many people here do, that you write with best intentions. That’s not what this discussion is about. This is
meta. And it’s not about
what, it’s about
how.
but
- is to motivate better than good posts, such where reader assumptions cannot lead to misinterpretation.
Great!
But! Isn’t it better to motivate by first telling “the kid” how well it performs? That it is good already? Anybody should surely appreciate respectful amendments and corrections if explained with sympathy and support, not contempt and patronizing. The first is what humans need to feel accepted and which “opens” them, the latter are for sure not your intention, but I swear, my perception is that many of your opponents in the discussions here read such in many of your posts. Some vitriol, some »von oben herab«/condescending, some “I’m/mine’s the greatest”. Again, I assure you that I believe this is not your intention, that you’d never want to be understood like this. But please consider that people 1) are inaccurate in their expressions and 2) people misunderstand each other (un)happily in the worst possible way. And if we’re not a bot, we’re “people”, so we are inaccurate in our expressions and so we also misunderstand. We may be
more accurate than others, and/or we may understand
better, but we cannot claim objectivity in our expression and our understanding. Well, we
can, but this will lead to isolation and ceasing of meaningful communication with the outer world, which consists of … people who all believe they have the key to objectivity

(I, for example,
grok fundamental truths about how
the universe and everything works

)
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OK, I see that meanwhile daal has replied also; well, I’ll post this nevertheless, hoping it is not too basic or brillant for at least a few to understand

And sorry for the threadjacking @ xed_over

________
K thx bye

Tom