(;GM[1]FF[4]CA[UTF-8]ST[2]
RU[Japanese]SZ[19]KM[0.50]TM[1500]OT[5x30 byo-yomi]
PW[me]PB[adversary]WR[1d]BR[1k]DT[2013-06-18]C[I played white this game. I am ashamed of it.]RE[B+Resign]
;B[pd]BL[1499.361]
;W[dp]WL[1484.696]
;B[pp]BL[1497.998]
;W[dd]WL[1482.602]
;B[fq]BL[1496.564]
;W[cn]WL[1480.588]
;B[dr]BL[1495.537]C[Hmm, something like H3 or something? Nah, let's just be normal and do C3, then do O17.]
;W[cq]WL[1459.92]
;B[iq]BL[1492.438]
;W[nc]WL[1457.738]
;B[fc]BL[1486.899]C[Should I pincer? Hmm, not much I can do with O17 right now. Seems more natural and balanced to simply D14.]
;W[df]WL[1431.162]
;B[db]BL[1478.285]C[Hmm. Seems passive to C17 yet again. I could do H17, and it'd likely be that joseki where he C17 then I go with E17, et. al...
That leaves some influence toward the center with the D14 stones... But what of O17?
I don't know how he'll respond to O17 or if it'll be useful. Let's double approach top right and see what he does.]
;W[qf]WL[1405.505]
;B[pf]BL[1459.781]
;W[pg]WL[1387.977]
;B[of]BL[1458.572]
;W[qc]WL[1386.074]
;B[qe]BL[1454.525]C[So he gives me O17... If he tenukis, maybe I can go ahead and H17, as considered earlier.]
;W[pc]WL[1383.976]
;B[lc]BL[1451.523]C[Hmm, no tenuki. I guess I will protect at C17.]
;W[cc]WL[1378.249]
;B[ob]BL[1448.812]C[Darn, I was too hasty.
Of course P17 doesn't give much eye space. It'd be cool to play P16 in sente, so then I could capture P18 with O18. Maybe if I play S15, I can then play P16 to threaten to atari at R16...
(**Post-game thinking: My reading is not doing well today...

**)
]
;W[re]WL[1334.558]
;B[rf]BL[1444.945]
;W[od]WL[1320.466]
;B[oc]BL[1436.104]
;W[qd]WL[1316.934]
;B[pe]BL[1434.595]
;W[sd]WL[1309.358]
;B[qg]BL[1432.597]C[Woops... Man, something's wrong with me today.]
;W[nb]WL[1299.665]
;B[nd]BL[1430.643]
;W[oa]WL[1296.651]
;B[pb]BL[1428.315]
;W[qb]WL[1295.178]
;B[oe]BL[1427.224]
;W[pa]WL[1293.651]C[(**Post-game thinking: What in the world am I doing?**)]
;B[od]BL[1425.988]C[Hmm. I'm a little behind, now, I think. He has potential on the right. Seems like I big place to play...
]
;W[qn]WL[1288.878]C[(**Post-game thinking: Maybe R7 is better...?**)]
;B[pl]BL[1413.152]C[Okay, I should make a presense here. I'll jump out at P6 to counter his right influence.]
;W[on]WL[1285.137]
;B[np]BL[1409.459]
;W[rp]WL[1283.381]
;B[rm]BL[1408.229]C[Hmm. Odd. I guess I take corner with R3.]
;W[qq]WL[1280.771]
;B[rn]BL[1405.952]
;W[qo]WL[1207.598]
;B[qp]BL[1404.608]
;W[ro]WL[1204.965]
;B[pq]BL[1403.703]
;W[rr]WL[1203.286]
;B[qr]BL[1400.22]
;W[rq]WL[1201.992]
;B[pr]BL[1397.304]C[Hmm...

I guess I have to run with this group. He can profit in Q10 area... I want to play something around Q10, but that's no good.. I'll just have two weak groups.
OTOH, I don't want to give him that area, either. I guess I just jump out to strengthen my group and give him as little as possible...]
;W[mn]WL[1196.793]
;B[lp]BL[1388.49]C[Hmm. Q10, though it's my instinct, is definitely no-no. That'd just give me two weak groups. I could do something like O8 or O9, maybe.. But that's forcing to give him more territory...
I don't like this board position. I'm going to tenuki. But where?
Left side? Seems to protect myself. But I am behind. I guess his only weakness could be if I attacked F17. H17 it is...]
;W[hc]WL[1166.479]
;B[hd]BL[1367.53]C[Hmm, he strengthens himself. I will J16, he G16, I K17. Then if he J15, I can K15 to get some presense toward O12 area...]
;W[id]WL[1159.687]
;B[gd]BL[1365.936]
;W[jc]WL[1156.152]
;B[ch]BL[1357.507]C[Hmm. Maybe an opportunity? I can try to make both groups weak. First the top one...]
;W[cb]WL[1151.333]
;B[fg]BL[1351.256]C[Hmm. Seems wild. I will split him.]
;W[dh]WL[1143.631]
;B[di]BL[1349.207]
;W[eh]WL[1141.877]
;B[cg]BL[1347.82]C[Hmm. Safe would be E14. But I hate to lose points around C15.
(**Post-game thinking: I was greedy.**)]
;W[cf]WL[1125.319]
;B[cl]BL[1345.076]C[Hmm, cut at E14 still kinda undesirable... I guess I strengthen E12 for that case when I get cut so I can run easier. I do E11, probably in sente, then strengthen at C2.
(**Post-game thinking: I don't know what the right way to play is, but I feel I should maybe jump out at J14 or something. I've got to get central power if I am to have a chance here. N6 is weak. E12 is weak.. This is no good.**)]
;W[ei]WL[1117.75]
;B[dj]BL[1342.284]
;W[cr]WL[1114.781]
;B[if]BL[1333.493]C[(**Post-game thinking: My coffin is getting nailed...**)]
;W[jf]WL[1102.404]
;B[ib]BL[1330.05]C[Hmm, central power more important.]
;W[ig]WL[1098.776]
;B[ic]BL[1327.302]C[OK... So I H14 atari. If he J15 to save, it forces me to K16. Then if he protects J15, I H18 to capture him.
(**Post-game thinking: First of all, capturing J17 isn't the biggest thing in the world. Secondly, I of course misread that after he does K15, he can K18 and I have only two liberties.

**)]
;W[hf]WL[1063.084]
;B[ie]BL[1324.301]
;W[jd]WL[1061.34]
;B[je]BL[1310.753]
;W[he]WL[1055.159]C[(**Post-game thinking: I am so embarrassed of this play. **)]
;B[ke]BL[1308.812]
;W[kb]WL[1041.293]
;B[jb]BL[1296.008]C[Crap. Those stones are not going to do well. I guess the only thing I can do is try to sacrifice them. Then I will try to get central power with it. It's my only chance. ]
;W[kf]WL[949.344]
;B[jg]BL[1220.915]C[Hmm. Actually, now I can escape. M15 L16 L17 M16 M18.
(**Post-game thinking: Escaping is probably not the point. I think I need to do something at a larger scale.**)]
;W[le]WL[880.244]
;B[kd]BL[1218.064]
;W[kc]WL[877.199]
;B[ld]BL[1216.518]
;W[lb]WL[874.854]
;B[hg]BL[1191.381]
;W[ih]WL[868.751]
;B[gf]BL[1187.209]C[Okay, now I am OK with those stones. Maybe I capture J18, but first, I play F15 in sente to protect cut at E14.
(**Post-game thinking: This is wrong on so many levels.
1.) F15 does not protect the cut.
2.) F15 is aji keshi, and takes away my chance to hane at H12 in sente.
3.) J18 stones are not big, since his stones are safe.
4.) Central power is still more important.
5.) *Crying*
**)]
;W[fe]WL[838.137]
;B[ge]BL[1163.734]
;W[hb]WL[834.899]C[(**Post-game thinking: Sigh... I think the center is more important... But what do I do? I guess I play something like P9? I'm in no position to be aggressive now. H18 is definitely not the biggest place on the board, though.**)]
;B[dg]BL[1159.125]
;W[eg]WL[826.589]C[(**Post-game thinking: Why play here? The *only* benefit would be to somehow attack D11, but that's not going to happen. I should ignore and tenuki.**)]
;B[ef]BL[1158.123]C[Woops. This is embarrassing. I guess I go for center power?
]
;W[lg]WL[784.901]
;B[jh]BL[1155.196]
;W[li]WL[782.429]
;B[ji]BL[1149.918]
;W[lk]WL[776.858]
;B[nm]BL[1146.94]
;W[nn]WL[773.522]
;B[ll]BL[1144.514]C[Hmm. He's trying to split me. I should fight back. Maybe P8, then if he does P7, I can Q7 to threaten either R8 or N8 miai.
(I actually did read out him responding with Q7 for a second here, but for some reason I stopped thinking about it.)]
;W[ol]WL[753.827]
;B[pm]BL[1141.598]C[Man, that's no good.

If I passivly defend cut, I still have to run. He cuts off at P7, then that's no good. I guess I have only one choice. Try to kill Q8.
]
;W[qm]WL[682.855]
;B[ql]BL[1138.199]
;W[rk]WL[680.786]
;B[rl]BL[1136.407]
;W[om]WL[679.403]
;B[pn]BL[1135.018]
;W[po]WL[678.352]
;B[oo]BL[1133.547]C[All my chips are on the table.]
;W[qj]WL[674.66]
;B[pj]BL[1131.324]
;W[pi]WL[670.008]
;B[pk]BL[1106.698]
;W[qi]WL[634.699]
;B[oi]BL[1103.865]
;W[oh]WL[629.366]
;B[ni]BL[1099.178]
;W[nh]WL[625.604]
;B[mk]BL[1093.798]
;W[nk]WL[617.555]
;B[mj]BL[1087.825]C[Hmm, I guess O10 cuts him. He doesn't have a ton of liberties. Do I have a chance?]
;W[nj]WL[599.645]
;B[mi]BL[1037.452]
;W[oj]WL[597.802]
;B[nl]BL[1035.586]
;W[ok]WL[596.547]
;B[ln]BL[1034.07]C[Crap. I've lost.. What if M7, L7, N7, N8, L6, M5, L8, K7, M10. Then I've captured him! Maybe it works!]
;W[lm]WL[498.807]
;B[km]BL[1023.808]C[Wait... N7, N8, L6, then he doesn't have to M5. He can N5, I capture, he O5, I fill, he K6 and I'm dead in ladder.
Crap.
I guess it's game over. At least I should see if he sees this move, I guess.]
;W[mm]WL[448.873]
;B[ml]BL[1022.39]
;W[kn]WL[447.779]
;B[mo]BL[1018.476]C[Yup, he sees it, of course.
If I count, I'm behind for sure. I wonder if he'd let me live after I play S1. Maybe that's a good resign move.]
;W[rs]WL[342.717]
;B[so]BL[1013.038]
;W[sp]WL[336.117]
;B[sr]BL[1011.097]
;W[sn]WL[334.33]
;B[no]BL[1005.324]C[*I resign, hang my head, and sadly remember that I am sharing this game on L19. It's truly an embarrassment.*])