Jouzer wrote:Today I was able to overcome my obstacle, I feel. I realized today after looking through a Nick's YouTube game review video that he commented on move by move that by playing GnuGo maximum skill for too much I had subdued to a play where I didn't even try to outsmart my enemy, or even make good threats and every fight and a puzzle I went with shape, defence and territory, and not very well at that. After watching that video I was finally able to play a deep game on KGS and really sink into the zone. I lost neverthless, for my opponent better'd me, but I wasn't a punching bag anymore.
So fellow kids, don't play too much high skilled bots.

You forget how to win.
My rank should drop again now so I expect to start winning again soon.

My approach to learn go is similar to you, too -- I often do not have time to play a complete game, but I do have segments of time to do go problems, view some youtube videos, study joseki online, etc. I am also in the "rising" stage of my ranking, so I've won the majority of my online games. So you are definitely not alone.

Some of the lessons that I've found out along the way
* Playing gnugo too much could have hurt fighting skills -- it sometimes tends to give up too early.
* I still play computer go, though, as this gives me greatest flexibility in playing time. I have been playing Pachi at its easiest difficulty setting, and with handicap stones -- the bot is pretty good in fighting and it often punishes my mistakes in close combat. In general, it is better to play against better bot with more handicaps, than a weaker bot on an even game.
* I also need to get over my fear of losing -- I realized that, sometimes I didn't want to play, is because I was fear of losing when I did not feel the best. I need to convince myself that rank means absolutely nothing, before I get comfortable in playing again.
* I've found reviewing my own game very useful. I've tried to find some patterns in the mistakes that I've made (e.g., not paying attention to liberty in end-game, thereby losing a large group), and reminded myself about that.
* One advantage of playing a real game is that it motivates me more to learn about a joseki -- for example, if I encounter an unseen situation before that should be a joseki, and if I responded poorly, i have a much better motivation to memorize the joseki.
