darWIN wrote:Well, my usual complaint remains, as it did with chess, which I didn't play but my brother did and won a few trophies when he was a boy, the absurd elitism of the players. Perhaps this complaint is unfounded and based on an irrational fear of people, or simply my unfamiliarity with the culture. Don't know. Perhaps I am the elitist here, for not taking someone's amazing talent seriously enough.
However, I have always felt that there was a certain nightmare quality of taking something fun, and then exalting it to the point where it is no longer fun anymore, because only the game is important anymore, and winning, instead of just, a good way to spend free time. Perhaps I'm just worrying too much though. My main outlook on life has always been to always look on the bright side of life. Maybe that's something I just find humorous. Isn't the amount of competition there is what is fun about it, in the end, after all?
I suppose these anxieties come from being told that I was fairly good at the game. I just started playing a lot though, maybe a year ago. I feel like I don't understand the game at all. Even when I win I don't quite understand the strategy that I used, because I play intuitively and quickly. I also don't know if it was the right strategy, or what strategy is even going on. I suppose I understand that there's something going on about a delicate balance of what is important and what is not. But even if I win I still feel that what I did is almost completely incomprehensible to me.
Well, ridiculous maybe... A bit existential angsty.
The important clue here is, I think, what you said about being told that you are "fairly good at the game." I have seen it many times, and have to battle it myself - your ego start pumping up and your perception changes. You hang your pride on being "fairly good" and start having anxiety about losing and ultimately - about playing.
But its all about your personal perception, not about ranks or seriousness or whatever else "others" are doing - it is all internal problem. Nobody can really help you with that, I think, no change in what others do or think or say can fix your problem. Its something you have to fix yourself, or you might as well stop playing.
What helped me in the past in such situations were two thoughts:
1. I am really weak, still learning, no matter what my rank says or what others think, I am just learning, struggling, trying to do my best.
2. Nobody will care about the game I lost today when I win another tomorrow. Or the quote from somebody "Now that I am 5d, nobody cares about the games I lost when I was 5k."
In short - humility.
Well, I am still learning, its a life-long process.
PS>
About seriousness, elitism, and all that.
Go is a very deep game, and you can play it on many levels.
Many people play it for fun only and are not bothered by ratings, strength, and whatnot.
But many people take it more seriously, and they do care about that stuff. To be good at Go, if you care about being good, you need to take it seriously.
Taking Go seriously is not easy in the long run, you hit all kinds of roadblocks, bumps, and barriers. One of the hardest things is to stay motivated, to keep pushing even when the going gets tough. Some people use rank chasing and elitism to keep themselves motivated. I strongly dislike that approach, but I understand where some of this is coming from. So I usually just feel pity rather than getting angry, and try to never let it influence my own perception.
And then - some people are just jerks.
All of the above goes for almost any game you can think of, unless it is something as trivial as tic-tac-toe.
