TrainingAs I am now writing another novel, and since work is crazy (it is Disaster Recovery Test season, and I am the DR Manager), AND since we are still moving back into the house and dealing with construction issues (yes, STILL)... I have not had much time to practice.
At most I get a handful of simple problems a day, or I can play through part of a pro game, but with very little time to analyze it.
Last night I made some time to sit down and study problems again, and it was amazing how much I had forgotten. I'll try to do better, but real life (TM) is such a hassle.
GamesNot many of these either. I'm suffering from online game anxiety again, probably because it's been so long since I was playing online seriously and I don't believe I am 9 kyu. I'm having problems pulling the trigger and joining online games at all. This does not extend to games in real life.
Game 1: KGS
http://www.lifein19x19.com/forum/download/file.php?id=5146
I did manage to pull the trigger on a game once. I knew I was out of practice, and I could tell I was playing poorly. Very poorly. My hands were shaking from thrill and panic, and I found it nearly impossible to read anything but one or two moves. I don't get it. Why is playing Go so terrifying and thrilling? I need to get some emotional distance, desensitize myself or something.
Coming out of this game, I was certain that I did not deserve my 9k rank, and this was proof.
Game 2: At the Go ClubI went to Go club last night and played against the first person I ever played against, a guy named Mark. He floats between 7-9k on KGS. My first game with him, I needed 9 stones, and he still beat me. This game, I took no stones, but got black because we were not sure what my rank truly is.
I remember that when I first met him, he said he had reached 9 kyu in one year, and I was very impressed by how fast he had done it. I will guiltily admit: I enjoyed the shock on his face when he heard that I, who had started only 4 or so months ago, had already reached 9k. I know I shouldn't've enjoyed it. I know that my advancement is due to an unhealthy habit of obsessively focusing on a new hobby to the exclusion of everything else. But I did enjoy it. I've worked very hard and struggled with a lot of inner demons, and for a moment I really felt like I had accomplished something.
I wish I had recorded this game, but the strange personal-to-person dynamics of a real life game threw me off, and I felt like I was going to be annoying learning new technology as I played. I need to get over myself and just record all games, period.
I opened with a micro Chinese, and he opened Chinese. He approached my star point, and I countered with a large knight, inviting him in to 3-3, but he never took it and I ended up sealing the corner off later later in the game.
Early game went well for me. I approached his 3-4 with an avalanche that I played incorrectly, but he didn't know avalanche at all, so I made it work. He threatened the group several times, but I had eyespace, so I jumped out and extended the micro chinese and developed a massive framework taking up almost a quarter of the board.
He of course countered this, and invaded, and lived small, and later I made some mistakes and let him reduce the moyo quite a bit.
I might have won, but I had two dragons going. I made one live under severe pressure, but the other one I did not read correctly. I thought it already had 2 eyes, and it did not. The death of this dragon, sealed my fate, but I made several other bad reading errors near the end.
The problem is that I normally go to bed at 8:30 or 9:00pm, and there is just no way around it, that's when Go club is. So near the end of all my games there, I start crumbling. I crumbled more than usual, though: I completely and utterly misread at least three attacks, not seeing an entire enemy liberty for 5 moves, until my eyes suddenly clicked on.
I feel I could have won this game, or at least gotten very close, had I:
1) not misread those moves and
2) realized that my second dragon did not have two eyes when I thought it did (I could easily have had the second eye if I had tried; this second issue had its roots in reading/strategy before the 8:30pm threshold, and likely was just me making a terrible mistake!).
I ended up losing by 60 points instead. It was very frustrating to lose because of that dragon dying, but my opponent said that he felt like he was on the ropes for most of the game, and complimented me on my "great attacking style" over and over again.
The dragon was about 44 points, I think, and my other misreads were quite large as well, wasting 6-7 moves on an impossible chase and giving him free captures as well. I think I could've easily won this game if the dragon hadn't died, and I had played even 3 of those 7 stones where they mattered instead of throwing them away and giving him free moves.
Strategic note: I focused on mutual damage in this game; when he threatened to hurt me, I would threaten to hurt him even more. It felt like a perpetual Ko fight, and, in fact, when we dove into the OPGMKF (once-per-game mandatory Ko fight), I noticed little difference, other than a slightly wider palette of moves. It's the first time I got Mutual Damage to work consistently and felt comfortable with it. I also got to build the biggest moyo I've ever built. That was fun.
After this game, I feel at least a little more confident that I might be close to 9 kyu. 11? 10 maybe? So I count it as a success.
and 
that don't do much, and you'll be a little stronger.
