identifying source of online go anxiety

[Bki]

For the record, here's the game in question:

$$c 11 at a
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . 1 . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 7 9 . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . 8 0 a . . . . . . . . . . . 5 . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 2 , . 6 . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------

Click Here To Show Diagram Code

[go]$$c 11 at a
$$ ---------------------------------------
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . 1 . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 7 9 . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . 8 0 a . . . . . . . . . . . 5 . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . 2 , . 6 . . . , . . . . . , . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |
$$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I spent 24 seconds on trying to figure out if it would be bad if I let White play there and get a good moyo with and , or whether it would be worse if White approached me from the top and followed up around K16, getting a good moyo on the top.

surprised me, so I spent another 15 seconds thinking about whether to extend or hane.

After , I began to wonder whether I was going to be letting White get too much territory if I just kept extending, or whether I approached and let White hane. I didn't particularly like , but felt it was the best option. I spent a whopping 20 seconds on the move.

Well, certainly deserved thinking time as there are several valid options, though I don't like your option (if he play one point below what he played in the game and you make a 2 space extension, he can still make a shimari). one point higher may be playable, though for a play on the side, I would favour an approach (high so you don't give him a good pincer).

Playing on the bottom side would be good, too, and as he played one of the weakest 3-4 enclosure there is, you can expect some prospect on the side/the bottom left corner.

I'm not sure you should have been so afraid about him making a moyo, given that black would have an advantage in a moyo contest.

Some thinking time on whether to hane/extend is reasonable.

What's not to like about . That you hesitate about a hane at the end of two stone in such a position is a far greater problem than taking too much/not enough time on your moves I would say. Though obviously if White was strong enough in the area that the the cut was severe you should extend instead.

[PeterN]

Spending 20 seconds on each move here doesn't seem unreasonable. I think everyone may be getting too used to us amateurs blitz playing until the first fight breaks out. As long as my opponent doesn't play something unusual I think I spend about 2 seconds per move as B in fuseki, though I always play Orthodox.

PeterN

[globulon]

I can relate to some of the things discussed in this and other posts about having very different feelings about games in real life vs games online.

I have played go since I was a kid, but never got very far (maybe around 10k or so), primarily I think because I have been very off and on.

Some of my best times playing go were when I played at a club that literally consisted of 2 old guys who played each other every week. They were very welcoming to anyone else who showed up too. I played many games particularly with one of them and they were always slow and without a clock. I learned a lot about the game and got much better at that time because I actually was thinking about what was going on on the board and making plans and trying things and then getting feedback on what worked and what didn't.

I also find that with chess, I much prefer slow games. Luckily there are several volunteer run leagues for slow chess online. These games often start with a base time of 45 minutes and add 45 seconds to your clock whenever you make a move. I also very often play 90 30. Think about this for a minute because most chess games have significantly fewer moves than go games.

I find that one thing is that if I play a game and really have time to think about what I am doing and why, I don't feel the loss in the same way. Though it is never fun to lose it doesn't hurt my enjoyment of the game in general.

On the other hand, when I find myself racing through a go game just slapping stones willy nilly and find that I have started some big fight I didn't have the time to understand or read out, and that I crash and burn, I often feel upset in a way that makes me not want to play anymore.

All this is to say, if anyone is interested in playing slow games, where it is understood from the beginning that a lot of time would be taken say starting with a base time of 60 or 90 minutes and then some form of increment or overtime then send me a message.