Do you want to become stronger? Why?

[Subotai]

Crush my enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.

[dust]

I'm interested in people's passion for the game and how much it drives them.

I've met a couple of Chinese people over the years who have reached respectively pro-level and almost pro-level, and gave up playing because it was clear to them they weren't going to reach the top and it was time to find an alternative career.

I find it somewhat incredible you have have the motivation to reach such a high-level where Go becomes the major part of your life, and suddenly just stop playing.

[Pio2001]

Hi,
I am currently struggling with the overwhelming desire of becoming stronger, that is opposed to the sensible principle that I should enjoy my strength as it is.

Reasons why I want to become stronger :
To be level with the majority of the players in my club. I am currently 12 kyu in the french federation, while most of the club's managers are SDK or dan.
Because I don't understand why I have been stuck at 6 kyu kgs for 10 months while studying 1 hour a day for all that period of time.
Because the gap between my kgs rank and my federation rank (6k / 12k), albeit not abnormal, is on the far side of the statistics.
Because there must be some wonderful secrets and enlightening moments to discover and experience in the high spheres of go strategy !

Reasons why I don't care about being stronger :
Because I can already properly run a complete game on a 19x19 board.
Because it is an endless quest and I will always be unsatisfied, whatever my level will be.
Because I don't want to cross the line where the ratio of painful hard work vs rewarding enjoyment inverts.
Because I already have a basic knowledge of all the fundamentals.
Because I am strong enough to teach beginners and review their games.
Because loosing a game doesn't mean that I am too weak, it's my opponent who's too strong !

[gowan]

I want to become stronger because the stronger I become the better I understand the game and the more I enjoy it.

[joellercoaster]

I want to become stronger because the stronger I become the better I understand the game and the more I enjoy it.

This.

I keep having these moments, maybe every stone or two in strength, where I sense the vast iceberg past the tip I have so far grasped - a hint of its shape here, a bit of more precise geography there. These moments are definitely correlated with getting stronger.

Uncovering even a little more of it is deeply pleasurable. So I keep on.

I hope I can do this for the rest of my life.

[hyperpape]

I want to become stronger. So far, being stronger has meant understanding more things, and seeing new things is interesting. On the other hand, I'm not sure whether I'm passionate. I've spent a lot of time on go over the years, but there have only been a few times when I was working hard.

I forgot to mention that I am also vain and shallow and prideful and all of those other things.

[sorin]

Why not?

[daal]

Why not?

Actually, this is a pretty good answer. Go is a competitive game, and wanting to become stronger is just normal. The real question is: Are you willing to work to get stronger, or would you rather wait and see if it magically happens - which it sometimes does.

[Kirby]

Why not?

Well, I've come to realize more and more these days that life is short. So it seems to make sense spending time on activities that are worthwhile. As daal points out, it may be possible to become stronger in some cases without investing time or effort, but if I'm going to spend my time on something, it seems important that the activity have some positive aspect.

Since starting this thread, I keep thinking to myself of the analogy of physical exercise. From that perspective, I can come up with a simple reason to try to work toward becoming stronger: it makes me feel good. Physical exercise has the same effect. I don't anticipate that I'll ever be in the Olympics or win a marathon. But stretching myself physically makes me feel good. Now, there may be some science behind the chemical activity that happens with exercise, which accounts for making a person feel good. Maybe that same form of chemical activity isn't present in a mental exercise, such as studying go.

Nonetheless, looking back, when I'm studying go or trying to become better, I'd say that I have some happiness from the activity.

And that's probably sufficient.

[jeromie]

Yes, I want to become stronger.

I desire to get better at anything I do, especially if there is a way to quantify progress. If I run, I want to go farther and faster. If I play music, I want to take note of my progress on a piece. I always have a desire to improve.

Go is special, though. For most of my life, I have cycled through my hobbies. I'll spend a lot of time pursuing something that interests me, and then take a break from it and invest that time in something else. This pattern comes naturally to me, but it doesn't reflect who I want to be. I have a desire to be a person who chooses a few things and sticks with them. I don't want to step away from a hobby when my attention wanders or the going gets tough.

A few years ago, I decided to try to stick with go. And for the last three years, I have. The intensity with which I have studied the game has varied based on life's demands, but I've never left it completely. Go is not the most important thing in my life, but it does represent an important aspect of who I want to be. I desire to make steady progress in the game, at least in part, to demonstrate the fruit of dedication.

[Calvin Clark]

If you want something concrete, Kirby, maybe become strong enough to enjoy the ambiance of the strong players room at USGC? Of course it varies from year to year, depending on the size of the room and the attendance and the particular tournaments going on. Maybe AGA 4d can get lucky and have a game scheduled there if the opponent is 6d, but the number of boards is limited and it may be getting harder.

For me, wanting to get stronger is not so much about the number. I beat a couple of Tygem 2d players and that felt like an accomplishment for about 10 seconds, because I know it is meaningless.

Go is one of the few activities which can bring me a flow experience. Most other things are too boring or the kind of stress I don't want.

I am starting to realize that even some of the simplest shapes one can put on the board require dan-level reading to resolve. Playing them out is gambling. My game is probably 95% gambling in this sense. I think it would be fun and enlightening to get it down to 80%.

[hyperpape]

Life is short, but it's a big step from there to saying you must figure out which things are "worthwhile". Few people are out on this Earth to accomplish something, and those people are not necessarily lucky. Most of us are just here to spend some time trying to live a decent life.

If you have a goal beyond the ordinary in life, you probably don't have time for Go, except as an occasional diversion. If you don't, it's probably good enough if you enjoy the game, and aren't neglecting your family, your job and your community.

[Kirby]

Why not try to spend time in a worthwhile manner? It's a limited resource, so I'd think it makes sense to spend it efficiently on activities that I think have value (i.e. worthwhile).

For example, if I have only $10 to spend at the store, I'd like to spend it on what I value the most, rather than something random.

[hyperpape]

Good example. Of course, I don't think you should spent $10 on anything at the store. But you can also drive yourself to madness trying to optimize your spending (It's been years since I've read it, but http://earlyretirementextreme.com/ used to inspire a strange combination of awe and revulsion in me).

I sometimes find that it's midnight, and I've spent the last two hours following links to read up on some stupid controversy that I'll never think about in two days. That's a waste of time, and I'd be better off going to bed and waking up feeling rested. But that's easy and obvious. It's a far cry from saying that I sometimes do things that don't bring me anything useful to saying that I need to evaluate everything I do for being "wortwhile".

I keep putting "worthwhile" in quotation marks because if it just means "do I like doing this?", that's a fine question to ask. Sometimes we realize we've been doing something joylessly, and we need to give it up. But most of the time, we don't have to even ask that question.

You seem to be looking for some kind of answer that says either "Yes, Kirby, you should play go", or "No, Kirby, stop playing go". I don't think you're going to find it. I you find something that holds your attention more than Go, that might be a sign that it's time to spend more time there. But you've stuck with it for a long time already (seven years on these boards, right?), so there's a good chance you're in it for the long haul.

Please don't take this as disparaging. I don't mean for it to be. If you want to keep asking yourself this question, that's ok. I just have my doubts you'll find an answer that lives up to what you're hoping for.

Edited: added the third paragraph.

[dutchie]

I want to become strong enough that I can repay the debt I owe to the community incurred by having