Kirby's Study Journal

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:12 am

Tired from work a little bit - a lot of stuff I don't know, and trying to learn more each day. It's pretty fun - I like learning, but I also feel some pressure to start delivering soon. So more than usual, work has been on my mind, lately.

That being said, I have been taking some lessons from Mark lately, and he asked me to play one or two games a week. Unfortunately, since I hadn't played a lot of games, my rank has been unstable, so I had to try to rank up recently. That was the reason for those blitz games earlier.

Here's another one that I played yesterday, just to get back up to ~2d. I don't have a lot of time to play games outside of work, so this one was blitz, too:

After that, I was finally back at 2d on KGS, so I tried to play a slower game. I lost to a 1d on KGS after that:

I felt bad about losing, so I didn't review that much. The one thought I have is that I probably should have cut here:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X O . . O . X . X . X . X O . . | $$ | . . X , O . O . O O X . . . . X O . . | $$ | . . . X X X . . O X X . . . O . X O . | $$ | . . . . O O O O X O O . . . . . X O . | $$ | . . X X O X X O X X . O . . . . X O . | $$ | . . O O X X O X O X O . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . X X X O X C X O . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X , . O O O X X O . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . X O O . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . W X . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . O . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . O X . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . X O X O X . . , . . X . X , O . . | $$ | . . X X O O X . X . . . . X O O . . . | $$ | . O O O X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

instead of capturing at the marked intersection. That weakness would have helped, I think, in reducing what black got on the bottom.

This sequence also wasn't ideal:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Wc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X O O . . . . 1 . . . . . . . O . | $$ | . . X X O . 5 . O X 3 . . . . X X O . | $$ | . . . X O . . O 2 X 4 X X X . X O . . | $$ | . . X , O . O 7 O O X . O . . X O . . | $$ | . . . X X X 8 6 O X X O . X O O X O . | $$ | . . . . O O O O X O O . O X X . X O . | $$ | . . X X O X X O X X . O X X O . X O . | $$ | . . O O X X O . O X O . . . O . X X . | $$ | . . . X X X O O O X O . X X O . X . . | $$ | . X X , . O O O X X O . O O . O O X X | $$ | . O . . . . . . X O O . . . . . . O X | $$ | . 0 . . . . . . X X X O . . . . . O X | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . . O O | $$ | . . O . . O 9 . . X X O . . O . O . . | $$ | . . . O . O X . . . O X O O X O O . . | $$ | . . X O X O X . . , O X X X X X O X . | $$ | . . X X O O X . X . O X . X O O X X . | $$ | . O O O X X . . . O X X X . X O O O . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . O . . . . X . O . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I figured I'd be OK with the connection with

, though, black was able to take advantage of my weakness there pretty well and make a good chunk of territory on the left side.

Anyway, I don't feel great about this game. So I guess it's a good one to have reviewed tomorrow.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Tue Jun 02, 2020 7:20 pm

Thought I'd check back in to L19, to let folks know I'm still alive... Where do I start?

In short, I'm having trouble prioritizing and achieving balance between work and go. I mentioned earlier in the journal that I started a new job recently. To date, it's been completely remote (though, that may change later this year). In some sense, I really enjoy this. I can spend time with my family during meals, and I have no commute.

The downside is that it's very difficult to establish a boundary between doing work and doing other things like go. If it were my previous job, I don't think I'd have a problem with it: work around 8 hours, and stop. Pick up where I left off the next day. But I'm a little afraid to do that at Amazon, because of the culture. There is a kind of quota for people that'll get "PIP'ed" (i.e. let go from the company) each year. And a large part of your compensation isn't given to you until you're a few years in.

So I really want to make sure that I'm not at the bottom of the food chain, and that I'm producing more than my peers at work. But this means that if I've worked a full day already, and I haven't quite solved part of the problem I'm working on, there's a strong feeling to keep going until I solve it.

In some sense, this is satisfying. When there's a tough problem, and I grind on it, and then come to a solution, it's pretty nice. But I ended up grinding over this last weekend, and missed some time to spend with my family. The feeling of solving the problem was good and there, but there's some sense of loss that I didn't spend enough time with my family... Or anything else. And then, there's also a little bit of loss of sleep. I'm still recovering from the weekend.

Anyway, my feeling is that if I continue with my current habits, I will probably achieve a lot at work, and I probably won't get dropped (no guarantee, I guess). But it's a little bit of a high price.

So I signed up for AYD, again, and I also signed up for BIBA to do go problems. I can do go problems on my own with no problem, but since I'm paying them to give me problems and grade them, I feel there's some accountability...

But still, it's a little hard to stop and do those problems or study go at all when I think in my mind that I could do more for work. And since my office is right here at home, that's pretty easy to do...

---

So my intention is to be more deliberate and get some sort of study routine and family time that is off-limits for work. But I'm not confident at all that this will hold up in times where I haven't finished everything I want for my projects at work...

That's where I'm at now

mhlepore · Post by **mhlepore** » Wed Jun 03, 2020 3:52 pm

Thanks for the update Brian. Have you been to the office and met any new colleagues in person? That you started when you did makes it especially tough/strange.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Wed Jun 03, 2020 6:09 pm

mhlepore wrote:Thanks for the update Brian. Have you been to the office and met any new colleagues in person? That you started when you did makes it especially tough/strange.

I was in the office for my interview, but I didn’t meet anyone that I work with. The week before I started, everybody began working from home, so I’ve only met colleagues through video chat.

I was pretty tired when I wrote this yesterday, and maybe I came across as venting. I thought about it more, and I don’t have an unsolvable problem - I just need to own up to it: set boundaries on work, and prioritize family and hobbies accordingly. Seems obvious to me right now... I hope my feelings stay this way.

Anyway, it’s good to hear from you, Mike. It’s a pity we won’t see each other at the US Go Congress this year.

SoDesuNe · Post by **SoDesuNe** » Fri Jun 05, 2020 9:08 am

For me the key is communication. I always ask for specific deadlines and I always tell if I can meet them (which I then do, even if it means overtime) and when not, why. On Wednesday the why often is that I have to go at 5pm to be at the go club of which I am vice-president. Of course I'm flexible in urgent cases.

That's the say. The do is: over two years of unspent vacations (Europe) plus over one month's worth of overtime.

My wife is worse.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 6:04 am

Yeah, communication is important. One of the challenges I see where I am is the level of ambiguity. Even the person asking you to do a given task often doesn’t know how it works. That’s part of what you have to figure out. So estimating how long something will take up front involved some degree of assumptions.

Anyway, I decided to incorporate go study into my life again, and simply add it as a constraint in my work schedule. I did some problems the day before yesterday, and plan to work that into my routine. I needed to catch up on sleep a little, though. Today is Saturday, so I got a good amount of rest.

I have an AYD game at 3pm. I’ll play that and review here. Aside from that, I aim to do at least 10 problems from graded go problems for Dan players. I’ll post if I actually did that here, later tonight.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 1:48 pm

I played my AYD game. So far according to plan to get back toward studying go. No go problems yet, though.

I lost this game. Here's a brief review I did without looking at AI:

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:03 pm

Some highlights...

Position 1

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . . . . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . . . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O B . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I think I know that the marked move isn't the "proper way". But I had seen it on L19 before, and I wanted to try it: viewtopic.php?f=13&t=16016

I guess the bad part about this is that I played a move I didn't think was proper. I do that a bit too much. The good part is, I played something I was curious about.

Position 2

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O B . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I'm not sure if the move I played here is the way to go. Maybe just jumping out is better, like this:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . B . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Position 3

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . O O . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . X . O O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O O O O X X X O X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O X X X X X O X X . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X O X X O O O O X . X X . | $$ | . O O X O O O O O O X . X X X X O O X | $$ | . . . X X . . . . O X . X . X O X . . | $$ | . . O O . X O O . X O . O X O O X X . | $$ | . . . , O O X . . X . . . O X O O O O | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . O O O . X O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . B X X X O O O X . X | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . X X O X O | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

I guess it's too slow to play here. It's probably better to take territory on the bottom, but it's still a little painful to tenuki:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . O O . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . X . O O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O O O O X X X O X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O X X X X X O X X . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X O X X O O O O X . X X . | $$ | . O O X O O O O O O X . X X X X O O X | $$ | . . . X X . . . . O X . X . X O X . . | $$ | . . O O . X O O . X O . O X O O X X . | $$ | . . . , O O X . . X . . . O X O O O O | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . O O O . X O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . 2 X X X O O O X . X | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . X X O X O | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . . . X O O . | $$ | . . . O . . . . 1 , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

But the bottom territory seems worth it, maybe?

---

Now, with Katago... I skimmed through the game, and a couple of interesting things stuck out. First, I seem to have been slightly leading - or about even, up until here:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O B . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Instead, it just wants me to cover the bottom right, and leave the stones there:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . B . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Second, it didn't even thing that was that bad, but things really went south when I played here:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O . . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . B . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Instead, the idea was to sacrifice and get solid in sente:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . . . . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O 5 X X . . . . . O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O 4 O 3 . . , . . . X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . O O X O O O . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . X X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O O . 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . , . . . . . , . . . . . , . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . X . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O . . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , . . . | $$ | . . . 7 . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

After that, the game was sour for me, I guess. The other interesting thing was this:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . O O . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . X . O O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O O O O X X X O X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O X X X X X O X X . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X O X X O O O O X . X X . | $$ | . O O X O O O O O O X . X X X X O O . | $$ | . . . X X . . . . O X . X . X O . . . | $$ | . . O O . X O O . X O . O X O O X X . | $$ | . . . , O O X . . X . . . . X , O O O | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . X O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . X O O O X . X | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . O X . O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . . . . X X O X O | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . . . B O O . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

Instead of the move above, it suggested this one:

Click Here To Show Diagram Code: [go]$$Bc $$ --------------------------------------- $$ | . . X . X . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . X X X . . . O O . . . . . O O O . . | $$ | . O X O . X X . . X . O O O X O X . . | $$ | . O X O . O O O O X X X O X X X . . . | $$ | . O X O X O X X X X X O X X . . . . . | $$ | . X O X O X X O X X O O O O X . X X . | $$ | . O O X O O O O O O X . X X X X O O . | $$ | . . . X X . . . . O X . X . X O . . . | $$ | . . O O . X O O . X O . O X O O X X . | $$ | . . . , O O X . . X . . . . X , O O O | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . X O O X . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . 1 X O O O X . X | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . O X 4 O X X . | $$ | . . O . . . . . . . . 5 . 2 X X O X O | $$ | . . . . . . O . . . . . . 3 . . O O . | $$ | . . . O . . . . . , . . . . X , X X . | $$ | . . . . . X . . . . . . . . . X . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ | . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . | $$ ---------------------------------------[/go]

---

The takeaway I have from this is, maybe I should avoid thinking too much about stones and capturing stones. Instead, I need to think about things like sente and getting outside wall... Those results can be good, too.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:39 pm

Didn't really feel like doing problems this evening - I had other things to do, and my wife wanted help in the garden. So I started around 10pm.

But anyway, I said I'd do 10 problems, so here they are... I haven't checked answers, yet, and I'm kind of anxious to go to bed, so some may be wrong:

I'll try to do 10 tomorrow. But maybe I'll mix it up and do a different book, because I don't want to share too much from a single source here, given copyright stuff.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:48 pm

Did a lot of garden/yard work stuff today. It was OK, I guess.

Anyway, I said I'd do 10 problems today, so I did 10 problems today. I got through about 7 from the source that I wanted to work on today, but the other 3 were a bit trickier - then again, a couple of the 7 that I did do were kind of familiar. Anyway, it's getting late, and it'll screw up my schedule tomorrow if I don't go to bed soon. So I added 3 problems from an easy book to the mix.

Here are the 10 problems - again, haven't checked answers yet, because I want to finish the other 3.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Mon Jun 08, 2020 6:30 pm

My wife was feeling down today, so I thought I'd better spend time with her this evening. I still said I'd do 10 problems, though, so I did. Kind of. I cheated and took some from an easy book. I thought easy problems were better than no problems, given today's constraints.

Here they are without scanning solutions. Most folks here can probably solve on sight, anyway, so not sure if it really counts.

Anyway, tomorrow, I'll do 10 problems. But I'll aim for a bit harder ones.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Tue Jun 09, 2020 6:50 pm

First, today's 10 problems:

These problems are actually "problems" in that I don't see the answer immediately all of the time. They aren't too hard, but I got a few wrong, so I can't complain. Out of the 10, I'd say that I had 6 that were completely correct, and two that I'd give myself half credit for, because I read the important variations, but missed something.

So to put myself on the line, I'll say I'll do 10 problems again, tomorrow.

Going through this exercise, I realize that it's been awhile since I've been consistent with solving problems. Maybe that's why my performance has degraded.

Kirby · Post by **Kirby** » Tue Jun 09, 2020 7:00 pm

Now today's game from the AYD:

Overall feeling this game: frustrated.

I can feel that my reading was weaker than my opponents. But there's also some feeling that my reading is weaker than my old self, too.

So my opponent will play something that's either:
* working; or
* not working, but I don't punish it

And then I get pretty frustrated. Because I feel like I should have seen it, or I just get a feeling of being annoyed. Maybe this is just what it feels like to be weaker than the opponent. But it's also frustrating to feel like I'm weaker than my old self.

---

So that's part of the reason I'm trying to do problems a little bit each day, even if I don't want to. I want to get back to where I feel I'm as strong as my old self...

But there's also some feeling that I need some sort of more tangible goal. Because that'll give me a reason behind what I"m doing. I have a "what" established: play games in AYD and do problems every day. But the "why" is less clear. It's kind of amusing doing problems, I suppose, but it's not something that's going to motivate me to really have some sort of significant study.

---

Looking back... what motivated me before?

1.) When I started go, around 30k: I watched Hikaru no Go. Great show. Now I'm feeling that I'm going to be a professional go player! That's impossible you say? Well, it's OK. They'll make exceptions for 30 year old age limit in Japan, if I'm a foreigner. So I just have to keep going until I'm pro. Yeah!
Result: Got to around 12k

2.) Around DDK ~ SDK: Kind of tough. Maybe my thoughts of being a pro were too ambitious. But there's this kid at my school who's 9 stones stronger than me. It'd be good to beat him. So let's get ahead of him for now.
Result: I ended up beating him. Leveled out around 5k. He was stronger than me, probably, but I could beat him in an even game now and then.

3.) Around 5k: OK, I'm decently strong - stronger than the average person who knows the rules of go in America, probably. But alas, I'm just a kyu player. It'd be really cool to be a dan player. Maybe my ambitions of becoming a pro will never be realized, but at least I can be a dan player. Just get to 1d on KGS, then things will be cool.
Result: Reached 1d on KGS

4.) In 2015, US Go Congress: I'm gonna meet Inseong for the first time! I've been stuck at 1d for ages, but I'm really motivated to study hard for the tournament and win all of my games!
Result: Won all of my games 6-0

---

But since then? Nothing. I like playing go, especially when I win. So maybe I can have that kind of motivation. But I don't have a "why" like I did before.

But while I'm thinking of my "why", I'll keep doing problems in the meantime. At least it's good for my brain.

Knotwilg · Post by **Knotwilg** » Wed Jun 10, 2020 1:52 am

Analysis of the game shows a rather flawless play by White, from handling the corner pattern with the appropriate sacrifice and punishing every small mistake you make. Not at all "he plays something that doesn't work and I fail to punish it".

19 - Kata says better 2-2
21 - inside atari, forcing him into inefficient shape, then atari again, then 2-2 to protect the corner
23 - 2-2
25 - hane on the outside; the cut is the final mistake

As said, White flawlessly exploits his excessive influence. Black never had a chance to come back into the game.

Bill Spight · Post by **Bill Spight** » Wed Jun 10, 2020 2:29 am

Knotwilg wrote:Analysis of the game shows a rather flawless play by White, from handling the corner pattern with the appropriate sacrifice and punishing every small mistake you make. Not at all "he plays something that doesn't work and I fail to punish it".

19 - Kata says better 2-2

Me, too. Count the liberties.

Life In 19x19

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