Girlfriend And Go

General conversations about Go belong here.
hailthorn011
Lives in sente
Posts: 1160
Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:34 pm
Rank: KGS 6k
GD Posts: 0
Universal go server handle: hailthorn
Location: VA, USA
Has thanked: 183 times
Been thanked: 100 times
Contact:

Girlfriend And Go

Post by hailthorn011 »

Okay, I've played Go for around 4-5 months now, and during that span I've tried sporadically to get my girlfriend to play Go as well. It worked once, but then she was discouraged because I defeated her handily. Although, I do admit, I wasn't really trying...And I gave a nine stone handicap. Anyway, my goal is to somehow enable her to see just why this game has captivated me so much. However, my attempts have been in vein, and it seems like I'm making her more disinterested than interested.

So, question of the day: How do I get her interested? (And man, so many puns there, I know.)
Slava Ukraini!
Kirby
Honinbo
Posts: 9553
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:04 pm
GD Posts: 0
KGS: Kirby
Tygem: 커비라고해
Has thanked: 1583 times
Been thanked: 1707 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by Kirby »

1.) Your efforts probably won't work.

2.) If anything, you could suggest she play igowin for awhile.
be immersed
User avatar
fwiffo
Gosei
Posts: 1435
Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:22 am
Rank: Out of practice
GD Posts: 1104
KGS: fwiffo
Location: California
Has thanked: 49 times
Been thanked: 168 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by fwiffo »

I think it's a bad idea.
User avatar
LokBuddha
Lives with ko
Posts: 180
Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 10:15 am
GD Posts: 0
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 4 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by LokBuddha »

I tried what you are doing right now, and I haven't had a single girlfr ever since. It sucks I know. My girlfr asked me to show her, but it was boring, and I realized that while showing her too! A couple of years later, some girls asked me to teach them out of the blue, and I lightly say sure, but I wouldn't never show them. If they (your girlfr in this case) are interested in the game, she would find out herself already.

Nothing is really universal, go is the same. Even if you think it is captivating, other may not find it captivating, no matter how much you think it is.

Not to discourage you or anything, but from what you described, she just doesn't have the curiosity.

Peace, last post.
xed_over
Oza
Posts: 2264
Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:51 am
Has thanked: 1179 times
Been thanked: 553 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by xed_over »

Some people will just never get it -- and that's ok.

Could they learn to like it with a different teacher? Maybe, but not always.

I tried teaching each of my three daughters. My oldest almost caught on (and she played pair go with me at the recent Portland Congress), but my youngest caught on the best and maybe is about 18k (she came to the Tacoma Congress with me), but she then quit when she entered her teens.

Neither my middle daughter nor my wife are interested in learning to play.
hailthorn011
Lives in sente
Posts: 1160
Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:34 pm
Rank: KGS 6k
GD Posts: 0
Universal go server handle: hailthorn
Location: VA, USA
Has thanked: 183 times
Been thanked: 100 times
Contact:

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by hailthorn011 »

I guess the universal answer here is no. I know it's never a good idea to force your hobby onto someone else, especially your GF, so I guess I'll probably give up. The only person I have been able to get interested in Go is my friend Brian. And he doesn't play very much. He plays only against me, and is not too good....But he's too competitive with me to let me be his teacher, unfortunately.
Slava Ukraini!
User avatar
fwiffo
Gosei
Posts: 1435
Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 6:22 am
Rank: Out of practice
GD Posts: 1104
KGS: fwiffo
Location: California
Has thanked: 49 times
Been thanked: 168 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by fwiffo »

I may be only 4 kyu at go, but I'm 7 dan at screwing up relationships. And trying to make my girlfriend play go is the exact kind of thing I'd do.
hailthorn011
Lives in sente
Posts: 1160
Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:34 pm
Rank: KGS 6k
GD Posts: 0
Universal go server handle: hailthorn
Location: VA, USA
Has thanked: 183 times
Been thanked: 100 times
Contact:

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by hailthorn011 »

fwiffo wrote:I may be only 4 kyu at go, but I'm 7 dan at screwing up relationships. And trying to make my girlfriend play go is the exact kind of thing I'd do.


Sorry to hear that. I guess the best choice of having a GF that plays Go is having a GF that's already interested in the game! lol
Slava Ukraini!
User avatar
kokomi
Lives in gote
Posts: 412
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 7:23 am
Rank: 7k
GD Posts: 0
Location: Xi'an
Has thanked: 11 times
Been thanked: 23 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by kokomi »

it's a bad idea maybe. unless you can control the results up to 0.5 point. :twisted:
长考出臭棋.
hailthorn011
Lives in sente
Posts: 1160
Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:34 pm
Rank: KGS 6k
GD Posts: 0
Universal go server handle: hailthorn
Location: VA, USA
Has thanked: 183 times
Been thanked: 100 times
Contact:

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by hailthorn011 »

kokomi wrote:it's a bad idea maybe. unless you can control the results up to 0.5 point. :twisted:



I think if I was good enough to do that, I'd be stronger than 15K-16K
Slava Ukraini!
User avatar
Joaz Banbeck
Judan
Posts: 5546
Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:30 am
Rank: 1D AGA
GD Posts: 1512
Kaya handle: Test
Location: Banbeck Vale
Has thanked: 1080 times
Been thanked: 1434 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by Joaz Banbeck »

This reminds me of the relationship forums where every other guy is trying to get his girlfrind to do a threemumblemumble. The consensus is that women will do what they want when they want, and asking them more than once just breeds resentment and resistance.
You asked once; she is not interested. Quit now and you will both be happier.
Help make L19 more organized. Make an index: https://lifein19x19.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=5207
rubin427
Lives in gote
Posts: 338
Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:24 pm
GD Posts: 0
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Has thanked: 163 times
Been thanked: 62 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by rubin427 »

I had this big long response all typed out, but I can see Joaz just won the thread.
User avatar
POGO
Lives with ko
Posts: 127
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:47 am
Rank: KGS 9k
GD Posts: 98
KGS: Prophet19
Has thanked: 3 times
Been thanked: 15 times

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by POGO »

Sound advice, let her be.

I tried getting my wife into the game around 4 months ago.
turns out shes good at the nuclear tsuji.

but my randomized point is this.

girlfreinds/wives/sisters/mothers will allways ALLWAYS do what they want when they want.
as my wife so perfectly puts it.

you only think you got us into something, but in fact without us it would be nothing.
The unoffical Corndog Of Lifein19x19.
Please,Do not microwave for more then 60 second's as screaming will acure.
tapir
Lives in sente
Posts: 774
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:52 pm
GD Posts: 0
Has thanked: 137 times
Been thanked: 155 times
Contact:

Couples And Go

Post by tapir »

There are a lot of go playing couples, who never play against each other. There was an interview with Rui Naiwei and Jiang Zhujiu, where they told the same about themselves, Seems to be best practice to study together but not to play each other.
User avatar
Laman
Lives in gote
Posts: 655
Joined: Thu May 06, 2010 10:24 pm
Rank: 1d KGS
GD Posts: 0
KGS: Laman
Location: Czechia
Has thanked: 29 times
Been thanked: 41 times
Contact:

Re: Girlfriend And Go

Post by Laman »

tapir wrote:There are a lot of go playing couples, who never play against each other. There was an interview with Rui Naiwei and Jiang Zhujiu, where they told the same about themselves, Seems to be best practice to study together but not to play each other.

yes, this seems to be true. same applies for example for Choi Cheolhan and Yun Ji Hee (I've heard it from Yun).

hailthorn011: perhaps she would like more to play against roughly even opponent. i am always much happier when i can teach two beginners playing each other, not only playing myself against one.
Spilling gasoline feels good.

I might be wrong, but probably not.
Post Reply