Jujube wrote: (...)
I ... read some of Janice Kim's books, and downloaded Moyo Go Studio to play GNU Go ... bought Kageyama, and read most of that, and bought The Second Book of Go by Bozulich. I've found that book to be VERY instructive. I've also read a little of the Elementary series
(...)
my learning style is as a theorist
(...)
I hardly played any games, and none against a real person on the internet.
I did, however, plough through the books, on the train, in bed, at work, with and without the board. Over and over again.
(...)
Did I do wrong?
In general, I would just stress that
you'd need a bit thicker skin.
If an insult does not come from people I/you care for, I just smile (really in real life).
On KGS, that would be " ^^ ". (drives such a person even madder

)
As a linguist, you could agree that the insulting person has a problem handling his/her emotions and expressing them.
Leaving the level of the individual game itself ("What a pity that I've lost it") and
ability to go on a higher, meta-level is not everyones forte ("I played probably well in this aspect, here and there, yet need to improve in these phases of the game.", "My/his/her move here gave the game away - no matter how well played before", "Overall, I learned this & that from this game").
Hence, not everyone can enjoy a lost game (vs. a better playing partner).
In 5 years, when you will be probably at least 15 ranks better - who will remember the loss or win of this short moment now ?
On DDK level the volatility of game results is high, the consistency low.
Go-wise, I could imagine your style Kageyama-like, attempting to play fundamentally sound, which perhaps frightened Blitz-hardened streetfighters - if they could realize it all in the first 100 moves. If you then miss a tactical situation, you'll get labelled 20-25 kyu,
however, if you have no weak groups for wild attacks, you'll get insulted.
That is basically the dilemma with playing partners, who take the game to serious on the level of that particular game.
Hence, the pieces of advice given (Censor-button + bot-play) are good, however do not forgett the buddy- and fan-button.
Also, the game invitation window allows for descriptive text (e.g. "I don't know my exact rank. Want a friendly, yet still rated game" or so).
You have studied excellent books so far.
Was '
Tesuji' (by J.Davies') among your list of the 'Elementary Series'?
Greetings and success!
(Get a thicker skin , smile

and play more - perhaps face-to-face over-the-board ?)