Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living". For some reason, this quote came to mind the other day. He didn't say that the unexamined life was worse than the examined life. He said that the unexamined life
was not worth living.
I thought about this for awhile, and also about the concerns I have had about motivation. In the process, I formulated my own expression:
The unexamined game is not worth playing.These days, I have wondered about my motivation in go. What motivates me? Why am I interested in this game. Why should I spend time studying?
I realized that sometimes, I have been going through the motions. I crack open the tsumego book, whip through some problems. I play out a pro game, without much energy. And during some games, I get to a tricky spot, and don't want to think about it much - "meh, that's kind of confusing what will happen if I play there. I won't bother thinking too far ahead. This feels like an 'ok' move".
This is not motivating. In fact, if I play go this way, and study this way, the games I play
are not worth playing, and the problems I study
are not worth studying.
But if I examine moves - think carefully about them. And put effort into them... The more I do that - the more it *is* worth playing. And the more it *is* worth studying.
Truly examined games are truly worth playing. And truly examined problems are worth studying. Carelessness is not worth the "effort".
This is the conclusion I've come to. And
this is what motivates me.---
So, I'm back! I whipped up the game offers on KGS, and started off against another 1d. We played out about 20 moves, and he accidentally died, so he resigned. I won't review the game here, because there is not much to review.
Then, I played against KGS 2d. I lost this game. But I feel happy. I still feel motivated. There are two reasons:
1. I tried harder than I have been recently. I made a very bad reading mistake about the status of his life in the corner, which could have cost me the game. But despite this big mistake, for many moves in the game, I tried hard. Maybe I just tried too hard to kill him.
2. I think I had a good chance of winning, if I had simply cut his group and kept half of it. He would have lived with part of his group, but killing the center part would be enough to win, I think.
Anyway, here is my review.
I will post diagrams later, but for now, I have to spend some time with my wife.
(;CA[utf-8]ST[2]RU[Japanese]OT[5x30 byo-yomi]GM[1]C[I played as black today, against KGS 2d.
I lost the game. I believe I had a chance to win, if I had simply killed part of his group.
I misread, and thought I could threaten to kill it all.
He lived completely.
---
I do not feel bad about this game. I examined it carefully when I played, and I did my best.
This is where my motivation comes from.]
AP[CGoban:3]SZ[19]FF[4]DT[2015-05-02]PC[The KGS Go Server at http\://www.gokgs.com/]
PB[Brian]BR[1d]PW[ueoji]WR[2d]KM[0.5]TM[1500]RE[W+8.50]MULTIGOGM[1]
;B[pd]BL[1491.96];W[dd]WL[1496.4];B[pq]BL[1489.03];W[dp]WL[1493.74];B[fq]BL[1486.36]
;W[dn]WL[1487.39];B[qk]BL[1465.36]C[This is a special strategy I wanted to try, that we discussed during the AYD.
I'm not 100% sure how to react when he plays D6, but I wanted to experiment.]
(;W[eq]WL[1480.67];B[jp]BL[1454.14];W[fp]WL[1476.47];B[jd]BL[1442.66]C[This was one variation covered in AYD, except D6 was at C6.
Seems similar.]
;W[qf]WL[1470.99];B[qe]BL[1437.72];W[pf]WL[1468.68];B[nd]BL[1377.01];W[qi]WL[1448.34]
;B[ph]BL[1374.99];W[qh]WL[1441.21];B[oj]BL[1372.81]C[Attack!];W[nf]WL[1432.27]C[I couldn't think of a way to continue.
Tenuki.]
(;B[cf]BL[1234.75]C[I didn't play C13 here for fear of white's pincer.
Charles, I'm talking to you.]
;W[fc]WL[1426.48];B[bd]BL[1219];W[cg]WL[1421.29]
(;B[bg]BL[1157.04]C[This is OK when ladder is here. See variation.];W[bf]WL[1415.93]
;B[dg]BL[1155.45];W[ch]WL[1404.42];B[bh]BL[1154.39]
(;W[bi]WL[1359.1]C[Never saw this.
I thought hard.
I decided I didn't want him to get C11, because I can't think of a good way to invade after.
So, let's break it up.
Let's go!]
;B[ci]BL[1095.36];W[dh]WL[1352.53];B[bj]BL[1092.19];W[ce]WL[1346.15];B[df]BL[1085.99]
;W[be]WL[1344.62]
(;B[ej]BL[998.792]C[Idea here was to drive him toward F12 area.
Then later, splitting attack on this weak group and O14.
Couldn't think of how to attack O14 before, right?
Maybe I can figure out a way with two groups.]
;W[eh]WL[1338.25];B[ff]BL[989.083];W[fg]WL[1328.32];B[ee]BL[969.256];W[hg]WL[1315.37]
(;B[he]BL[902.469]C[Problem is, I have bad shape...];W[de]WL[1311.44];B[ef]BL[899.872]
;W[hc]WL[1306.51]C[He did well to hurt my shape.
I was crying a bit.];B[hf]BL[787.869]
;W[ig]WL[1300.52]
(;B[lf]BL[765.471];W[dj]WL[1281.33];B[cj]BL[742.533];W[dk]WL[1276.15];B[di]BL[735.086]
;W[ei]WL[1274.37];B[cl]BL[732.859];W[dl]WL[1270.57];B[cm]BL[726.68];W[dm]WL[1268.23]
;B[gh]BL[721.417];W[gg]WL[1265.56];B[fj]BL[717.882];W[hj]WL[1262.35]
(;B[jj]BL[702.711];W[ii]WL[1252.9]
(;B[me]BL[697.053];W[bn]WL[1243.24];B[cn]BL[692.855];W[co]WL[1240.36];B[bm]BL[690.03]
;W[ck]WL[1231.76];B[bk]BL[680.997];W[am]WL[1229.95];B[bl]BL[679.946];W[bo]WL[1228.51]
;B[ai]BL[677.556];W[lq]WL[1218.35]
(;B[og]BL[672.359]C[Bad!
I went for all or nothing approach.
I should defend my shape at the bottom!]
;W[of]WL[1213.94];B[re]BL[668.736];W[nh]WL[1202.9]C[Anyway, I went all or nothing... And got nothing.]
;B[mi]BL[636.848];W[pi]WL[1199.72]
(;B[oh]BL[633.716];W[oi]WL[1196.67];B[ni]BL[630.648];W[ng]WL[1187.93];B[rg]BL[615.974]
C[Too intent on killing.
Bad Kirby.];W[rf]WL[1184.56];B[sf]BL[613.587];W[lg]
WL[1181.22];B[kg]BL[594.118];W[lh]WL[1178.19];B[ji]BL[574.271];W[pk]WL[1172.67]
C[Black has now fallen apart.
I still have a good chance in the game, I think, but my chances are really reduced.]
(;B[pj]BL[563.456];W[qj]WL[1170.13];B[ok]BL[561.747];W[pl]WL[1165.59];B[ql]BL[560.137]
;W[qm]WL[1160];B[rm]BL[551.014];W[qn]WL[1157.55];B[rn]BL[543.908];W[qo]WL[1155.75]
;B[rk]BL[442.125];W[rj]WL[1149.87];B[sl]BL[438.792];W[ro]WL[1147.94];B[sn]BL[436.293]
;W[sj]WL[1146.11];B[sk]BL[434.723]C[So painful.
Black has lost tons.];W[ol]WL[1141.42]
;B[mk]BL[426.526];W[rh]WL[1135.55];B[on]BL[422.531];W[op]WL[1129.43];B[oq]BL[416.404]
;W[np]WL[1127.12];B[pp]BL[414.458];W[po]WL[1124.85];B[oo]BL[413.655];W[ml]WL[1122.44]
;B[mn]BL[393.619];W[nk]WL[1117.91];B[nj]BL[391.43];W[nl]WL[1116.46];B[mp]BL[378.761]
;W[nq]WL[1113.85];B[mq]BL[376.611];W[nr]WL[1111.37];B[mr]BL[374.229];W[no]WL[1106.61]
;B[nn]BL[372.44];W[li]WL[1095.71];B[lk]BL[365.757];W[ll]WL[1092.38];B[kk]BL[363.829]
;W[mh]WL[1088.5];B[mj]BL[360.617];W[ln]WL[1085.83];B[lo]BL[345.667];W[kn]WL[1082.82]
;B[kl]BL[341.588];W[km]WL[1079.53];B[hk]BL[305.976];W[gj]WL[1071.62];B[gk]BL[301.142]
;W[fk]WL[1068.26];B[ij]BL[263.916];W[hi]WL[1065.24];B[in]BL[239.068]C[Now, things got interesting.]
;W[qr]WL[1061.95];B[or]BL[219.648]C[Here, at any time, I can play Q7 to grab some of his group.
But greed struck.]
;W[qq]WL[1058.14]
(;B[so]BL[190.622];W[sp]WL[1049.08];B[sq]BL[180.479];W[rp]WL[1045.76]
(;B[sr]BL[111.633]C[I read the sequence shown in the variation.]
(;W[ns]WL[1023.26]C[But he came up with this great move, which is sente against P2.]
;B[ms]BL[86.871];W[ps]WL[1016.13];B[os]BL[84.922];W[pm]WL[1006.4]C[He saved it all.]
;B[mo]BL[69.092];W[pr]WL[993.328]C[I lost a big chance, but here, I had a big misconception.
I wasn't careful enough, and thought this was bent 4 in the corner. I forgot he had enough liberties to avoid ko altogether.]
(;B[rs]BL[67.498]C[This was a big misconception.
I lost a lot here.];W[im]WL[967.496]
;B[hm]BL[65.129];W[jn]WL[956.434];B[io]BL[60.843];W[il]WL[953.208];B[gm]BL[36.487]
;W[ik]WL[944.706];B[jg]BL[27.239];W[rr]WL[909.041];B[qp]BL[23.535];W[hp]WL[857.209]
;OB[5]B[eo]BL[30];W[fo]WL[847.659];OB[5]B[go]BL[30];W[fn]WL[842.021];OB[5]B[gp]
BL[30];W[gq]WL[834.051];OB[5]B[gn]BL[30];W[iq]WL[809.603];OB[5]B[fm]BL[30];W[ek]
WL[793.439];OB[5]B[jb]BL[30];W[if]WL[781.808];OB[5]B[id]BL[30];W[ib]WL[776.162]
;OB[5]B[gb]BL[30];W[gc]WL[773.545];OB[5]B[kb]BL[30];W[fb]WL[766.022];OB[5]B[ed]
BL[30];W[dc]WL[760.886];OB[5]B[ec]BL[30];W[eb]WL[758.349];OB[5]B[cb]BL[30];W[bc]
WL[752.523];OB[5]B[db]BL[30];W[ad]WL[747.619];OB[5]B[bb]BL[30];W[ab]WL[745.016]
;OB[5]B[ic]BL[30];W[ga]WL[740.123];OB[5]B[ia]BL[30];W[hb]WL[738.014];OB[5]B[jq]
BL[30];W[jr]WL[730.392];OB[5]B[fr]BL[30];W[gr]WL[716.343];OB[5]B[kr]BL[30];W[ir]
WL[713.815];OB[5]B[mm]BL[30];W[lm]WL[711.361];OB[5]B[jm]BL[30];W[jl]WL[708.901]
;OB[5]B[jk]BL[30];W[rq]WL[706.832];OB[5]B[ss]BL[30];W[qs]WL[704.112];OB[3]B[en]
BL[30];W[ep]WL[701.611];OB[3]B[em]BL[30];W[do]WL[700.185];OB[3]B[ea]BL[30];W[cc]
WL[689.235];OB[3]B[gd]BL[30];W[da]WL[682.006];OB[3]B[js]BL[30];W[is]WL[678.326]
;OB[3]B[ks]BL[30];W[ip]WL[675.857];OB[3]B[jo]BL[30];W[ho]WL[670.243];OB[3]B[hn]
BL[30];W[ko]WL[663.429];OB[3]B[kp]BL[30];W[jf]WL[653.509];OB[3]B[kf]BL[30];W[af]
WL[650.432];OB[3]B[ag]BL[30];W[qg]WL[640.127];OB[3]B[sg]BL[30];W[sh]WL[637.804]
;OB[3]B[se]BL[30];W[ne]WL[633.816];OB[3]B[od]BL[30];W[mf]WL[631.019];OB[3]B[ke]
BL[30];W[fd]WL[625.713];OB[3]B[ge]BL[30];W[al]WL[615.902];OB[3]B[ak]BL[30];W[an]
WL[613.707];OB[3]B[hl]BL[30];W[ih]WL[607.344];OB[3]B[ki]BL[30];W[eg]WL[598.952]
;OB[3]B[jm]BL[30];W[lj]WL[587.914];OB[3]B[je]BL[30];W[fl]WL[582.616];OB[3]B[hr]
BL[30];W[hs]WL[574.339];OB[3]B[nm]BL[30];W[sr]WL[570.933];OB[3]B[pe]BL[30];W[ha]
WL[567.746];OB[3]B[ja]BL[30];W[]WL[567.745];OB[3]B[]BL[30]TB[pb][rl][ka][la][ma]
[na][oa][pa][qa][ra][sa][lb][mb][nb][ob][qb][rb][sb][jc][kc][lc][mc][nc][oc][pc]
[qc][rc][sc][kd][ld][md][qd][rd][sd][le][ah][bi][aj][ik][il][jl][im][sm][no][lp]
[np][op][kq][lq][nq][lr][nr][ls][ns]TW[aa][ba][ca][ea][fa][bb][cb][db][gb][ac][bd]
[ae][mg][ss][og][pg][fh][gh][hh][oh][ph][fi][gi][ri][si][ej][fj][ao][ap][bp][cp]
[aq][bq][cq][dq][fq][hq][sq][ar][cr][br][dr][er][fr][hr][as][bs][cs][ds][es][fs]
[gs][rs][cd])
(;B[ib];W[hb];B[gq]C[Something like this would have been good for recovery.
But I really made a mistake in reading here.
But despite this, I tried hard to read it well.
So I feel OK about this game.
End of comments.]))
(;W[pr];B[ns];W[pm]C[White still can't connect, since I can then kill - I thought.]
;B[rr];W[ps];B[rs]))
(;B[pm]C[Still, just here, and I think I win.];W[ns];B[ms];W[ps];B[os];W[pr];B[mo]
;W[sr]))
(;B[pm]C[Just here, and I win, I think.]))
(;B[ql]C[I should let up now that I see it doesn't work, and then try to play better for points now.]))
(;B[mp]C[Still, gotta do something like this, I think.]))
(;B[lp];W[mp];B[mq]C[Something like this?])
(;B[mp]C[Seems too generous...];W[lp];B[lo];W[ko]))
(;B[bp]C[Still this, I think.
He can still be weak.]))
(;B[bp]C[Probably something like this now.]))
(;B[jf]C[Maybe more proper.
I was too anxious to get splitting attack.])
(;B[gh]C[Maybe from this side now?];W[gg];B[co]C[I can always tenuki...]))
(;B[gf];W[hi]C[I didn't like this. He's practically alive.]))
(;B[eh]C[Too bad this doesn't work.
I wanted it to.];W[di];B[ej];W[cj]C[Not enough liberties.
If only I had one more.]))
(;W[ce];B[df];W[be];B[ci]C[Black has ladder, so it's not bad for black.
C17 aji still exists, since C16 is sente.]))
(;B[dg]C[Everybody does this.
Boring. Plus, he gets side territory, which he probably wants.]))
(;B[lf];W[me]C[During game, I was afraid of this, but maybe it's ok...];B[lc]C[Why not?])
(;B[ld]C[Seems too easy on him.
Slack maybe?]))
(;W[mp]C[If he does, this, I pincer.];B[jp];W[pp];B[qp];W[qq];B[qo];W[oq];B[pr]
;W[po];B[qn];W[rq];B[or];W[nq];B[nr];W[mr];B[lq];W[mq];B[rr];W[pn];B[pm];W[om];B[pl]
C[Something like this, if I recall. F3 is useful.]))
---
It feels good to be motivated once more.