Am I the only who actually takes the time to PM/send a message to the escaper nicely to go back to our game? I add the person to my buddy list and when I see him on, I resume the game which brings a pop-up to him. I'll give them a few hours or a few days (depending on when the person comes back on when I'm online) to cool down and clear their head because a lot of times when people escape, this is probably the state they're in:
And most of the time they do enter the resumed game and immediately resign, some of them even typing out 'thx' or apologizing. What I do isn't as time-consuming as it sounds, and coupled with my habit of scanning my opponent's game list before accepting/rejecting his game offer, means I haven't had to deal with an opponent who escapes AND doesn't eventually resign the game in a very long time (at least a year).
And yes, I too have my own idea for an ideal escaper system and policy (basically Tygem's) but can't please them all.